Re: 2 Questions
[email protected]
Years ago a woman in my very first homeschooling group stated, "I don't
believe in spanking, but that doesn't mean I haven't spanked."
I've remembered that through all these years. What we believe and what we
sometimes do sometimes are not compatable. Do we still believe? Of course!
Are we still human, and striving to live our ideals, I think so.
Connie
www.homeschoolingreflections.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
believe in spanking, but that doesn't mean I haven't spanked."
I've remembered that through all these years. What we believe and what we
sometimes do sometimes are not compatable. Do we still believe? Of course!
Are we still human, and striving to live our ideals, I think so.
Connie
www.homeschoolingreflections.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
----Original Message-----
From: conniecolten@...
Years ago a woman in my very first homeschooling group stated, "I don't
believe in spanking, but that doesn't mean I haven't spanked."
I've remembered that through all these years. What we believe and
what we
sometimes do sometimes are not compatable. Do we still believe? Of
course!
Are we still human, and striving to live our ideals, I think so.
-=-=-=-=-==-
aaaahhhh----I don't buy this one.
I don't believe in spanking. I have done it too. But as soon as I knew
better, I DID better. And never did it again.
I really think the spanking thing is EASY to stop.
It may be my first reaction to things (ingrained since childhood), but
it takes more than one step/one thought/one motion to GET there, so I
can stop myself from actually DOing it.
To spank, you have to have a hold of the child, raise your hand, and
swat---and that's if everything is *right* there. So somewhere in
between, I can get a grip on myself and s-t-o-p. It's gotten so easy
over the years, I don't even have to think about it anymore.
Yellling's a different story. Opening my mouth is the only step needed!
<g> So now I remember to breeeeeathe before I utter a word. Finding
that tool is still difficult because it's an *extra* step. With
spanking, I had three or more steps to go through to stop hitting.
As for unschooling. Believing in it and understanding it are pretty
deep ideas/thoughts.
I think someone can believe that it's possible to do---that there is a
positive outcome. Someone can understand that natural learning makes
sense. And I think you can 'fake it 'til you make it' by going through
the motions and stopping curricula and grading and testing and
comparisons and other school-think & -do.
But that is nowhere NEAR *getting* it and believing in it and
understanding it. I don't think you can get to *that* point until
well.... you're *past* that point and know down deep in your soul that
learning is natural. That coerced learning damages natural learning.
That each child is an individual who shouldn't and can't be measured.
I think you have to really believe it right down to your toes or you're
just spouting off about something that you think might work. Maybe.
Under the right circumstances. With the right kid.
~Kelly, who believes it down deep in her soul and all the way to the
tips of her toes!
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: conniecolten@...
Years ago a woman in my very first homeschooling group stated, "I don't
believe in spanking, but that doesn't mean I haven't spanked."
I've remembered that through all these years. What we believe and
what we
sometimes do sometimes are not compatable. Do we still believe? Of
course!
Are we still human, and striving to live our ideals, I think so.
-=-=-=-=-==-
aaaahhhh----I don't buy this one.
I don't believe in spanking. I have done it too. But as soon as I knew
better, I DID better. And never did it again.
I really think the spanking thing is EASY to stop.
It may be my first reaction to things (ingrained since childhood), but
it takes more than one step/one thought/one motion to GET there, so I
can stop myself from actually DOing it.
To spank, you have to have a hold of the child, raise your hand, and
swat---and that's if everything is *right* there. So somewhere in
between, I can get a grip on myself and s-t-o-p. It's gotten so easy
over the years, I don't even have to think about it anymore.
Yellling's a different story. Opening my mouth is the only step needed!
<g> So now I remember to breeeeeathe before I utter a word. Finding
that tool is still difficult because it's an *extra* step. With
spanking, I had three or more steps to go through to stop hitting.
As for unschooling. Believing in it and understanding it are pretty
deep ideas/thoughts.
I think someone can believe that it's possible to do---that there is a
positive outcome. Someone can understand that natural learning makes
sense. And I think you can 'fake it 'til you make it' by going through
the motions and stopping curricula and grading and testing and
comparisons and other school-think & -do.
But that is nowhere NEAR *getting* it and believing in it and
understanding it. I don't think you can get to *that* point until
well.... you're *past* that point and know down deep in your soul that
learning is natural. That coerced learning damages natural learning.
That each child is an individual who shouldn't and can't be measured.
I think you have to really believe it right down to your toes or you're
just spouting off about something that you think might work. Maybe.
Under the right circumstances. With the right kid.
~Kelly, who believes it down deep in her soul and all the way to the
tips of her toes!
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
October 6-9, 2005
http://liveandlearnconference.org
arcarpenter2003
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@a... wrote:
stop, and never do it again. Before, it was easy to stop the first
time in a day, but if things kept going poorly, the hint of it was in
the back of my mind, and sometimes I gave in to that.
And if my child was near, I might not spank him, but I might touch him
roughly, which was just as bad and scary, and could be done in an instant.
The thing that finally made spanking easy to stop was the whole
peaceful parenting thing -- when I didn't have to control my child's
behavior, I didn't have to spank. Then I could open up to lots of
other skills, like talking and being honest with myself and admitting
when I couldn't do it all.
And when I made the decision to stop, forever, Pam Sorooshian's
NoMoreSpanking list really helped me work through what I needed.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NoMoreSpanking/
Just in case there's anyone else out there who can relate.
Peace,
Amy
> ----Original Message-----I have only in the last year gotten to the point where it was EASY to
> I don't believe in spanking. I have done it too. But as soon as I knew
> better, I DID better. And never did it again.
>
> I really think the spanking thing is EASY to stop.
stop, and never do it again. Before, it was easy to stop the first
time in a day, but if things kept going poorly, the hint of it was in
the back of my mind, and sometimes I gave in to that.
And if my child was near, I might not spank him, but I might touch him
roughly, which was just as bad and scary, and could be done in an instant.
The thing that finally made spanking easy to stop was the whole
peaceful parenting thing -- when I didn't have to control my child's
behavior, I didn't have to spank. Then I could open up to lots of
other skills, like talking and being honest with myself and admitting
when I couldn't do it all.
And when I made the decision to stop, forever, Pam Sorooshian's
NoMoreSpanking list really helped me work through what I needed.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NoMoreSpanking/
Just in case there's anyone else out there who can relate.
Peace,
Amy