Gold Standard

>>and I thought I would
>>make him do one year.<<

>>He likes public school some days and he wants to
>>return home on others.<<

>>I did want him to put in ONE year of public school, since it was his idea
to
>>try it out. I didn't want him to go back and forth in his mind.<<

This is something that we have worked with for the first time this year. My
15 yo freshman son started public school for the first time last year in the
8th grade. That was a very fun year for him and all went well. No struggles,
self-motivated, got himself up and went happily each morning. This year,
about two months in, he said he wanted to unenroll. He said he had things he
wanted to do. The school said he could return in January if he wanted. So he
unenrolled, mostly hung out at home, worked on the inground skate bowl that
he's building in the backyard, then went back in January. He had no trouble
"catching up" and is now again saying he doesn't want to go, nothing is
meaningful, it's all crap, BUT he wants to stick it out to finish, because
that makes sense to him (maybe for his future plans?? I'm not really sure
why, but supporting him nonetheless).

I think it FEELS like allowing a child who has chosen to school to stay home
whenever he felt like it COULD promote some kind of irresponsible behavior
pattern, but I think that is just a feeling, not necessarily reality. It
probably would reek havoc with his experience in school when he did go. My
16 yo (different child) is unschooling and taking classes at the art high
school. He doesn't want to go half the time. The problem with that is when
others are depending on him, like the drama group he is in. I remind him of
these things, but still let him make the decisions that he then has to live
with. He seems to be learning how it works, and what happens when people are
disappointed because he didn't "do his part". I think he is also learning
what he is and isn't really interested in.

These experiences may feel and look messy because they don't follow the
system's schedule, but isn't that how our thinking and learning really
happen? Individually? All over the place? In different ways at different
times? The public school system is a one-size-fits-all program that, if
followed to a T, numbs children to their own passions. It is hard to be in
that system for any period of time and stay true to one's own needs and
desires. It makes complete sense to me that some days a child feels like
going, and some days they don't. And maybe even a few months on and a few
months off. It's not the way a teacher or administrator would like it to
happen, and that is probably what makes some of us think that if our child
chose to go to school, he needs to stick it out for the year. But that
teacher and that administrator does NOT have our individual children's needs
in mind. That's our job. And it takes real courage sometimes to support our
children's desires.

Jacki

Rodney and Rebecca Atherton

Jacki, thank you for your insights. It really helped me understand and put
it all (that fear of not carrying something through) into perspective.
After I read your e mail I had to delete my other responses because you were
already one step ahead of my reasoning. And then I read Sandra's article
"Public School on Your Own Terms" and I am going back and forth. I feel
better, though: doubly reminded that it's not about me. :-) ( doubly?
::giggle:: )



(He joined the gaming list)



<http://www.geocities.com/rebeccawow.geo> Rebecca

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to
solve. -Roger Lewin







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