Gold Standard

This thread regarding equality threw me for a loop. I couldn't figure out
where it came from or why. So I've just been pleasantly reading and getting
some interesting insights. I think I figured out that the origin has
something to do with
someone getting pissed about how they were responded to and held the flag of
equality, stating their unhappiness with how unequal things were on the
list, or maybe how unfair, or maybe both. Just a guess.

In any case it does bring me to something I've wondered about.

Do any of the long-term members on this list still look to get advice here?
Or do you take more of a "teacher" role in your approach, reading to see how
you can help, but not really looking for advice?

Thanks,
Jacki

Pam Hartley

> Do any of the long-term members on this list still look to get advice here?
> Or do you take more of a "teacher" role in your approach, reading to see how
> you can help, but not really looking for advice?

Sometimes I'll ask for advice on specific things (suggestions for books or
movies that tie in with a new interest, sources of one thing or another).

More often, I don't have a known need to ask advice on parenting or
unschooling as our family's lives are pretty smooth and trouble-free with
both. I'm always open to good ideas, and those come up on this list with
regularity -- so even if I don't think to ask for advice, I do receive. ;)

I also have two quite intimate groups of women friends and if I'm having
problems in life, I tend to ask them -- I already know them well and they
know me and my family well and we're all on the same page of
unschooling/respectful parenting.

Pam

Fetteroll

on 10/9/04 5:08 PM, Gold Standard at jacki@... wrote:

> Do any of the long-term members on this list still look to get advice here?
> Or do you take more of a "teacher" role in your approach, reading to see how
> you can help, but not really looking for advice?

I learn best by trying on a different point of view and explaining a concept
in a way that someone who is coming from that point of view can (hopefully!)
understand. So everytime I answer a question I'm learning. And I also learn
by reading replies, especially to problems I don't have experience with like
how to handle wicked mothers-in-law and children with high tempers which
gives me insights into human dynamics and interpersonal relationships.

But I never did ask for advice since that isn't how I learn best. I did lots
and lots and lots of reading all across the full spectrum of homeschooling
from fundamentalist Christian to radical unschooling back in the AOL days
when that was easy to do on the homeschooling message boards. Then I just
started writing out my thoughts on areas that I felt confident enough to
explain in front of lots of people who would scrutinize my logic and learned
more as I did that.

Joyce

pam sorooshian

On Oct 9, 2004, at 2:08 PM, Gold Standard wrote:

> Do any of the long-term members on this list still look to get advice
> here?
> Or do you take more of a "teacher" role in your approach, reading to
> see how
> you can help, but not really looking for advice?

I'm behind in my reading and haven't read responses to these questions,
yet.

My answer is an unequivocal <g> yes, I still look to get advice here
and "no" I am not really only looking for ways to help.

I find more ways to help than do I get advice that helps, though. And
that is because my kids are 13, 17, and 19 and I've been INTENSELY
talking and practicing unschooling and unschooling-inspired parenting
for many years.

But, I cannot in all honesty say I'm here only as a "teacher" - I'm
here as a fellow traveler EVEN if I'm spending a fair amount of my time
as a de facto guide.

I still have those "AHA" moments sometimes - when someone says
something just the right way to help me understand even more deeply. I
still have flashes of sudden insight about things I'm doing with my
kids that I could do way better. And, I still find that it encourages
and strengthens my resolve to be the parent I want to be - I'm stronger
and more determined because of my contact with all of you who are
treading the same path.

On the other hand, I'm also strongly determined to make a difference in
children's lives whenever the opportunity arises. And lists like this
provide a lot of opportunities. So, I am also here in the hope that
something I write might end up making a child's life better.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/10/2004 5:52:38 PM Central Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:

I find more ways to help than do I get advice that helps, though. And
that is because my kids are 13, 17, and 19 and I've been INTENSELY
talking and practicing unschooling and unschooling-inspired parenting
for many years.




~~~

I find that we never stop learning about how to be a better parent even if
our kids are as old as ours are, Pam. My eldest is 22 and married and it's a
whole new world of having a daughter-in-law (first daughter of any kind for
me). It's new to watch them establish a home and a marriage and I have to
learn how and when to offer advice and suggestions. They have no children, yet,
but there are some serious challenges ahead of me in the grandparenting
department. Oh, being the grandparent to the grandchild will be easy, but being
the grandparent with the new parent will be the challenge.

No one ever has it all down. Some of the principles I've learend through
lists like this can be applied to relationships with adult children, too. The
principless never really change, but the circumstances do, and I have to
re-learn how to apply the principles as I go. Once again, the eldest child will
be the one who bares the brunt of my bumbling along, and the youngest will
benefit the most.

Karen




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On Oct 10, 2004, at 4:07 PM, tuckervill2@... wrote:

> I find more ways to help than do I get advice that helps, though. And
> that is because my kids are 13, 17, and 19 and I've been INTENSELY
> talking and practicing unschooling and unschooling-inspired parenting
> for many years.
> ~~~
>
> I find that we never stop learning about how to be a better parent
> even if
> our kids are as old as ours are, Pam.

Oh, absolutely. I just meant that on these LISTS I find I'm helping
more than being helped. And that that is only because so many people on
the lists have younger children, rather than older, than mine. Just a
matter of numbers - not of need for help.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

r_maruniak

Out of respect for the serious contributions made by others on this
list, I prefer to lurk here and rarely post. I thought this was a
good opportunity to say thank-you to everyone who selflessly gives
their time to share their experiences and insights. I have come a
long way in the past 6 or 7 months, due in part to this group.

When I first began reading on this group, I sometimes winced at the
harsh way I thought people were sometimes being dealt with. But I
kept coming back here because a voice inside me said "yeah, but
they're speaking the truth". Now I'm glad that you guys don't pussy-
foot around with the truth. I've had those A-HA moments that come
from patiently listening and being willing to look at things in new
ways. My kids are still very young and I'm sure I will learn a lot
more about parenting and unschooling from this group.

My sincere thanks,

Renee

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/12/04 7:50:18 PM, rmaruniak@... writes:

<< I've had those A-HA moments that come

from patiently listening and being willing to look at things in new

ways. >>

Thanks for the positive feedback!

Sandra

pam sorooshian

On Oct 12, 2004, at 5:02 PM, r_maruniak wrote:

> When I first began reading on this group, I sometimes winced at the
> harsh way I thought people were sometimes being dealt with. But I
> kept coming back here because a voice inside me said "yeah, but
> they're speaking the truth".

Thanks for speaking up, Renee!!!!

-pam
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