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Holly would say just before each birthday, for years, "I don't want to be
eight. I like being seven." And so forth.

Pretty sweet, I think, to be content where they are.

I would say "I wish you could have stayed little forever because your little
clothes were so cute, and I loved carrying you around, and I loved nursing you
to sleep." Or whatever fantasy stage/age she was pining for.

I never pressed her to grow up, but I sympathized with her wish to stay
young, and would tell her good things I remembered about being that age too.

Through all, I've said, "You might feel different when you're older," and
"You can stay with us as long as you want to," and "You don't have to act any
differently just because you're ten" (eleven, twelve).

They Do feel the urge to leave, later.
Having been gone for eight days, when Kirby came back from wherever he had
been last night, I said "Did you do okay without having a mom for a whole week?"

His response was quick and sincere: "It was GREAT!"

I could've expressed hurt feelings, but it didn't hurt my feelings. It's
good that he got to have a week without me and he didn't have to move away to get
it. He's eighteen. Lots of kids his age are away at college, having months
without mom. Some are already themselves parents.

He's eighteen and getting ready to consider living as an adult, but he's not
quite ready yet. And that's okay with us. We're neither rushing him out the
door nor holding him down. Growth is inevitable, and we shouldn't try to
manage it because we really can't.

Sandra