Shadisha Bennett

When my son was 5 through age 7 all he wanted to talk about was where do babies come from. I was happy to do it and answered his questions ad nauseum. "Mommy laid an egg" is still one of his favorite books and he is now 8. At one point however, words were not enough and he just felt like he had to see where he came out of from mommy. I told him no because our private parts are our own and I was not willing to share my vagina with him. I was sexually abused as a child and was determined to set clear boundaries for myself and teach him about clear body boundaries. One day my 6yr told me that he would wait until I was asleep and then look at my vagina himself! I was quite annoyed and told him that he would not be respecting my boundaries and that was not a good thing and I would have trouble trusting him if he did this. I showed him a picture of a vagina in our anatomy book but that was too dry for him.
Finally, we went on line and found a cool website called Birth stories where women videotape their births and post them online. For three days straight he watched very graphic tape of babies being born. He wanted to show it to a friend but I told him the friend had to get parental permission. Predictably the friend did not get permission and was not allowed to our house for about a week. My son called both grandma's and insisted that they both watch the streaming video online. They both declined and expressed disapproval that I would allow my child to watch it. I am glad that I did because I know there is nothing wrong with it. I find it strange that women who have gone through birth themselves couldn't watch the video!
When my son is curious about the actual reality of sex and not just the book version I hope that I can find realistic videos that he can view so that his view of sex is not distorted by porn. If he ever comes across porn online I plan on telling him that it is the equivalent of a cartoon...not even close to real life!
Shadisha


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In a message dated 4/24/04 10:56:37 AM, shadisha26@... writes:

<< If he ever comes across porn online I plan on telling him that it is the
equivalent of a cartoon...not even close to real life! >>

Hey, that gives cartoons a bad name.

Maybe you should tell him they're fantasy, designed to help people imagine
wild things that MIGHT happen, but don't really usually happen.

Sandra