Re: [AlwaysLearning] Digest Number 1239
Shadisha Bennett
Hi Everyone,
I am a new member...have been around only for a couple of weeks. Usually I lurk around for a month or two to check out the tone of a group before I join in but this quitting thread and people's responses have been so well thought out that I just had to jump right in! First an intro:
My name is Shadisha and I have an 8yr old son. He attended daycare for a year and a half and we have been homeschooling since then. We are unschoolers at heart but every now and again I have a panic attack and want to do more...he is pretty patient, lets me haul out the workbooks for a couple of days and then tells me he is doing just fine watching t.v., playing video games, playing chess, digging in the back yard, making pot holders on his little loom, and riding his bike! We have a great time hanging out at home just doing stuff.
The quitting thing just came up for us a couple of weeks ago. He started piano, at his request, 7 months ago and at first I would have to gently remind him to eat, use the bathroom, do something else besides practice! He was so caught up in it that my husband and I went to bed, sometimes at midnight, listening to his compositions and would wake up the next day to the same thing. I would wander in and help if he asked for it but I basically left him alone. Then we took a 3wk vacation driving around the country and no piano. When we got back he didn't want to continue lessons. At first I pulled out the old quitter argument too....although my dad used to say I was a "jack of all trades, master of none" because I liked to try so many different things. I was scared that he would become a quitter or like me just dabbling in a million different things. One day I realized what I was saying. I loved all the things I dabbled in! Each experience enriched me in some way.
I gave up talking quitting and talked to him about the aspects of piano I knew he loved. We talked about piano and I realized that it was getting harder, sometimes not as much fun and he needed me to practice with him. I took piano as a child so I can keep up. He was having a hard time figuring stuff out on his own now. Now we happily practice together and piano is fun again. I asked him yesterday if he still wanted to stop lessons and that if he did it was fine. He said he 10% wanted to quit when he was frustrated with a song but 90% still liked it. Once we started talking about it openly and I shelved my quitting hangups I realized that he just needed help balancing the work. It isn't always fun but if it is more fun that sucky then that's good. He still doesn't love practice but loves doing it with me...and he knows that it is his decision to continue or not.
This was our first encounter with this quitting thing and I learned so much. As someone else in the group mentioned...now I don't even talk about quitting, I just say trying.
I promise that I won't always be this long-winded!
Shadisha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I am a new member...have been around only for a couple of weeks. Usually I lurk around for a month or two to check out the tone of a group before I join in but this quitting thread and people's responses have been so well thought out that I just had to jump right in! First an intro:
My name is Shadisha and I have an 8yr old son. He attended daycare for a year and a half and we have been homeschooling since then. We are unschoolers at heart but every now and again I have a panic attack and want to do more...he is pretty patient, lets me haul out the workbooks for a couple of days and then tells me he is doing just fine watching t.v., playing video games, playing chess, digging in the back yard, making pot holders on his little loom, and riding his bike! We have a great time hanging out at home just doing stuff.
The quitting thing just came up for us a couple of weeks ago. He started piano, at his request, 7 months ago and at first I would have to gently remind him to eat, use the bathroom, do something else besides practice! He was so caught up in it that my husband and I went to bed, sometimes at midnight, listening to his compositions and would wake up the next day to the same thing. I would wander in and help if he asked for it but I basically left him alone. Then we took a 3wk vacation driving around the country and no piano. When we got back he didn't want to continue lessons. At first I pulled out the old quitter argument too....although my dad used to say I was a "jack of all trades, master of none" because I liked to try so many different things. I was scared that he would become a quitter or like me just dabbling in a million different things. One day I realized what I was saying. I loved all the things I dabbled in! Each experience enriched me in some way.
I gave up talking quitting and talked to him about the aspects of piano I knew he loved. We talked about piano and I realized that it was getting harder, sometimes not as much fun and he needed me to practice with him. I took piano as a child so I can keep up. He was having a hard time figuring stuff out on his own now. Now we happily practice together and piano is fun again. I asked him yesterday if he still wanted to stop lessons and that if he did it was fine. He said he 10% wanted to quit when he was frustrated with a song but 90% still liked it. Once we started talking about it openly and I shelved my quitting hangups I realized that he just needed help balancing the work. It isn't always fun but if it is more fun that sucky then that's good. He still doesn't love practice but loves doing it with me...and he knows that it is his decision to continue or not.
This was our first encounter with this quitting thing and I learned so much. As someone else in the group mentioned...now I don't even talk about quitting, I just say trying.
I promise that I won't always be this long-winded!
Shadisha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kay Alina
Beautiful post Shadisha. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Kay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]