mozafamily

Thanks for your input and if I could buy a bigger house for more
computers I would but right now buying another puter is not an
option because there is not $ or room for it. I am just looking for
some ideas for dividing the time, I'm sure the kids will have their
own ideas as well but I thought if mabye someone else has dealt with
this successfully in their own home perhaps they could share some
enlightenment with me... I don't want to "impose" anything on them
but we will all have to come up with some sort of agreement about
it, just fishing for ideas. Thanks

Stephanie Elms

We just got a gamecube in October. My boys are 7 and 4 and at first
there were LOTS of arguments. What I did was to re-read my Siblings
without Rivalry for ideas. One that worked great for us was to let the
boys work out a decision...not have them set up hard and fast "rules"
(like time limits etc) but rather taking each disagreement individually.
Each circumstance will be different...Jason might be really working on
getting to a new level and need some uninterrupted non-sharing
time...Kyle may not want to play against Jason any more because he is
tired of loosing.

If the boys seem to be arguing and not working it out, I will go in and
play facilitator. I have told them that if they want me to decide, I
can, but that means that 1 of them will be upset and that I think they
can come up with something better between themselves. Then I start
helping them see the others point of view and putting their feelings
into words (especially my 4 yo)...saying things like, well, I think that
Kyle is upset because you have been on for a long time...I think that
Jason is worried that he will never get a turn if you play now...and I
have been pleasantly surprised at how much this has helped them work it
out.

One other thing that I do if it looks like they are having a real tough
time and each kid is digging in, is I will offer other
alternatives...read a Calvin and Hobbes book to Jason, offer to play
playmobile with Kyle, basically sweeten the pot for one or the other (or
both and see who bites!). They still argue at times, but it has gotten
much better and I have heard them trying to reason with the other a bit
more.

I think that it really helps to realize that there is no "fair" way to
divvy it up...because the kids needs/desires to play are different at
different times...sometimes even if Jason has been playing for a really
long time, he will be right in the middle of section and it would not be
fair to make him stop (kind of like if my dh said that I had to put my
book down at a really great part).

On this same topic...anyone have any suggestions on how to help the
younger brother who can never beat his older brother? I have been
talking with Jason about keeping Kyle's feelings in mind, but he is very
competitive and does not want to let his little brother to win. I try to
play with Kyle several times a day so that he can beat me, but I feel so
bad for him sometimes...he gets frustrated and calls himself a loser. It
has gotten so Kyle goes through phases of not wanting to play anything
with Jason..card games, board games, they even fight over winning
cooperative board games!

Stephanie E.

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/22/2004 11:03:40 PM Eastern Standard Time,
mozafamily@... writes:
<<I am just looking for
some ideas for dividing the time, >>


If the computer is new, their interest in using it so much may be short
lived. When we first got at home internet access, all my 5 kids wanted to use the
computer all day! Now it is used on a daily basis only by Emily and me. The
other kids get into it for a while, but then get busy with other things.
Antonio would much rather spend his time on the PS2.

We also have a very old computer that we were able to get for free that we
use only for word processing, record keeping, and a few simple games.

Our system is that when someone wants to use the computer they ask whoever is
using it to tell them when they're done. In general, the person using it
then hurries up and finishes, especially if they've been on it a long time. We
use the same system with the PS2. It seems to work well for us!

--Jacqueline


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/22/2004 11:52:04 PM Eastern Standard Time,
stephanie.elms@... writes:
<<It
has gotten so Kyle goes through phases of not wanting to play anything
with Jason..card games, board games, they even fight over winning
cooperative board games!>>


Maybe you could see if there's a game that he really likes to play that his
brother doesn't. If he played it a lot, he would get good at it...better than
his brother most likely since his brother wouldn't be playing it. In our
house there are a few games that the 5yo is better at than the 15yo simply because
she plays them so much.

--Jacqueline


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Indiana Tami <IT>

I have found it depends on the child & their interest.
My husband builds computers so now all the kids have their own. Before, our
oldest was on more only because she knew how to navigate better and was more
interested in it. Our middle child only liked to play games so he was on
rest of the time. Our youngest didn't have much interest.

Indiana Tami
"I saw a star, I reached for it, I missed. So I accepted the sky."- Scott
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----- Original Message -----
From: "mozafamily" <mozafamily@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, January 22, 2004 10:52 PM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] No more room for more puters...


> Thanks for your input and if I could buy a bigger house for more
> computers I would but right now buying another puter is not an
> option because there is not $ or room for it. I am just looking for
> some ideas for dividing the time, I'm sure the kids will have their
> own ideas as well but I thought if mabye someone else has dealt with
> this successfully in their own home perhaps they could share some
> enlightenment with me... I don't want to "impose" anything on them
> but we will all have to come up with some sort of agreement about
> it, just fishing for ideas. Thanks
>
>
>
>
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