badolbilz

Hi Kathy. We live in western NY, too. We're about 2 hours from you. I
have four girls under 7 1/2. We also have had a hard time finding other
unschoolers. Just last night the two older girls and I had a long talk
as we lay in bed about finding friends. The oldest, Aislinn, wishes for
a group of girlfriends. I told her that we could sign her up for
girlscouts or 4-H or something, but she feels she's too shy. We live in
a really small town with out many other activities for kids out of
school. I promised I'd try to find other unschoolers we could hang out
with but I also reminded them that they had each other and that for the
rest of their lives they can be each others best friends. But I do feel
sad about them not having lots of kids to play with. I hope as they get
older and are more confident about going out on their own things will
change.

Unschooling just plain makes sense and this list is a wonderful support
network. Welcome.

Heidi

kames97 wrote:

>My name is Kathy and I am the mom to James 10, Jacob 5, and Joshua
>3. We live in Western NY near Niagara Falls. We started
>homeschooling in November of this past year out of necessity. I
>quickly bought a curriculum and "did school" for the first month.
>After second guessing our decision, I did some poking around into
>unschooling and viola, I found my home. After an email to Sandra
>Dodd (thanks Sandra) I decided that this way of life was for us. I
>am now at peace with my decision to unschool because it just makes
>sense. I immediately bought learning all the time and the day I got
>it, sat on the couch curled up as if I was in the midst of a great
>novel. I read that book cover to cover and that book lit a fire
>inside me with such passion that I have never known. And I am a
>passionate person...
>
>I found this group through Sandra and have been pouring over the
>threads to find comfort in my decision. I dare not tell a soul (or
>at least that is how I feel) because I do not want to argue my
>decision. Most people can't even imagine letting go of their
>children and "trusting them"? Most people I know don't trust their
>children, they see them as people who do whatever it takes to get
>their way. I can't say I ever really distrusted my boys, but I
>always felt as if I knew what was best for them. I now know that
>while I do know some things about "life" that they don't know, and
>my experiences will help to keep them safe, they ultimately know
>what they want and need and I trust that due to their natural
>curiosity, they will be poking around for a lifetime.
>
>Since my decision, I have felt the insatiable desire to "get to know
>my kids". Not to say that I don't know them already, but a lot of
>times I know they tell me what they think I want to hear. Just as
>they did in school to the teacher. I have tried to wipe our slate
>clean and let them feel safe to tell me what they think I don't want
>to hear. Since last week, I have had 3 in depth conversations with
>my 10 year old that have told me things about him I never knew. He
>can hold conversations like a 30 year old. I think all children are
>wise beyond their years so to speak and the only reason most people
>don't know that about their children is that the kids are afraid to
>let it out. Afraid of the judgment that will meet them. Children
>learn it is easier to say nothing than to constantly be told why
>they shouldn't feel, think, or act a certain way.
>
>I will take this day by and day and try to just "shut up and
>listen". Shut up and listen to the pitter patter of running, the
>laughter, the amazement in their eyes when they accomplish something
>on their own, the joy in their hearts after telling me all about
>something that they feel real passionately about. Just as I would
>like that someone would listen to me when I feel passionately about
>something. Our passion, although different are ultimately the same
>emotion, not stronger because I am an adult, but the same emotion.
>Theirs is not to be undervalued for their age or size. I will stop
>myself from always butting in their sibling disagreements with the
>trust that they will somehow figure out how to keep the peace
>themselves and when they do, will feel satisfied that they did it on
>their own. I will work hard every day to not correct them when
>their counting is not in the order I would count in, or when they
>tell me that it is hot when I know it is cold, or blue when I know
>it is black. I will trust that they will figure it out for
>themselves eventually. I will trust that if they are spending all
>day on a particular game that tomorrow they may or may not do it
>again, but they will have a lot to tell me about regardless.
>
>While it won't be an easy task for me, the somewhat controlling,
>always involved mother that I have been for the past 10 years
>because that is what I thought I was "supposed" to be doing. I feel
>that it is a worthwhile achievement to work towards everyday so
>someday when my kids are grow up and moved on to families of their
>own they will look back and say "No, my mom didn't tell us what to
>do, when to do it, where to do it, whom to do it with, she never
>interfered with our hopes and dreams, but she was always there.
>Always opening the door for us and trusting that we would find on
>the other side of the door something amazing or not. And that was
>okay with her"!
>
>One of my dear friends who has 14 and 19 year old boys got the best
>Christmas gift that anyone could have given her this year. It
>something you can't buy, because it is priceless. Each in their own
>way wrote down why "my mom" is the best. The 14 year old did the
>top 10 reasons why my mom is the best and the 19 year old did the
>ABC's of my mom. Both were equally touching and after she finished
>reading them to me, I admit that I had to reach for the box of
>tissues. I believe I was crying because I wasn't sure up to this
>point that my children could possibly say any of those great things
>about me. I decided that someday I hope that my children would
>have these feelings about me and their childhood and want me to
>know. So I decided what I wanted them to write about me when they
>are older and now I am going to work hard to make sure they can.
>
>Thank you all for listening to my passionate ramblings. Have a
>great day!
>
>P.S. I would especially appreciate any contact from anyone in this
>area that I could do things with. I belong to the area
>homeschoolers but don't find their are many unschoolers there.
>Although that may not be the case.
>
>
>
>
>
>
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