Bob Iyall

I have been reading all the varied responses to the reading & media censorship thread, with interest. We seem to have some censorship that comes from our daughter herself. Our 16 year old daughter has always had strong views about what she will watch and read.
She absolutely refuses to watch a movie that is rated beyond her years. Currently it is R movies she shuns. She is a very mature person with sophisticated tastes and interests, and I get frustrated when she makes these stiff arbitrary rules for herself. Especially when I find a film that fits her current passions so well. We have talked about the reasons certain movies get that R rating, and what things would bother her. It seems to be scenes of violence, intense emotions, or mean spirited behavior that push her buttons. They reach too deeply into her heart and recur as nasty images in her mind later on. I understand that - I still have scenes from Deer Hunter and Apocalypse Now that haunt me.
When she was quite young she would tell us that some of the sitcoms my husband and I loved (like Frasier), were mean programs. We decided to tape them and watch them later, without her. I remember when she was about 3 or 4, we were all watching Snoopy Come Home on TV. At the scene where Snoopy was unwrapping his going away gifts and sobbing with each one, Our ET began sobbing too, and saying "Why can't he just stay home? I held her and empathized with her tears, and let her know that it would be all right, Snoopy would end up back at home with Charlie Brown. The intensity of her emotional empathic response at such a young age really stunned me. She is probably wise to protect herself from movie violence.

Books however are a very different thing. She absolutely consumes novels, often several at a time. Sometimes she goes on a theme binge - for instance in the past few months she has focused on East Indian culture. She read Rice Mother, The Namesake, Born Confused, etc. Side readings included Mansfield Park by Jane Austen, and Poetry & short stories by Poe. I usually read the books after she finishes them so we can chat about them. If I read it first, she seems to lose the charge for reading it. We watched Monsoon Wedding and Bend it like Beckham to follow up on the India theme. Hopefully cooking will follow as I love curry! When I picked up Rice Mother to read after DD, I was surprised at some of the gruesome descriptions of things the characters faced while living under Japanese control in Malaysia. I asked her about her reaction to these sections. I kind of wished she had warned me. I get persistent images in my memory from stuff like that. She replied that it was hard for her because it challenged her interest and affection for Japanese culture. But she felt she should know about the events because they did happen. She said the violent images were not uncomfortable for her; she just moved past them.
To me this is somewhat mysterious - this distinction between reading and viewing. My personal experience is that images tend to be stronger in a book, perhaps because my imagination is more active. The only clue I have at the moment is that ET reads with the eye of a writer. While she enjoys flowing along with the story, she is also analyzing the style, the character development, the pacing and all the qualities that she is honing in her own work. I bet that does create a bit of an emotional distance when her intellect is so much a part of the experience.

I will stop rambling on about this now, thanks for the chance to ponder this mystery and unravel it a bit more.
Oh - books for 7 or so.... Some of our favorites were the Mrs. Piggle Wiggle books by Betty MacDonald, Trumpet of the Swan by EB White, The Cricket in Times Square series (ET's favorite was Harry Cat's Pet Puppy). These are all wonderful humorous read aloud books. We did some of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe books, but ET found the battle scenes distasteful. The Chinaberry Catalog is also a great place to learn about old & new books for all different age groups.
I will now return to lurkdom <G>.
Sweet Dreams to you All,
Sheri in Olympia


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pam sorooshian

On Jan 20, 2004, at 1:06 AM, Bob Iyall wrote:

> The only clue I have at the moment is that ET reads with the eye of a
> writer. While she enjoys flowing along with the story, she is also
> analyzing the style, the character development, the pacing and all the
> qualities that she is honing in her own work. I bet that does create a
> bit of an emotional distance when her intellect is so much a part of
> the experience.

I know exactly what you mean. My 16 yo watches movies and theater
productions that way. And she can watch much sadder or more violent
movies than I can - with less impact on herself - because she's a bit
detached due to her analytical approach.

-pam


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In a message dated 1/21/04 1:25:06 AM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< My 16 yo watches movies and theater
productions that way. And she can watch much sadder or more violent
movies than I can - with less impact on herself - because she's a bit
detached due to her analytical approach. >>

Both Marty and Holly have been known to remind me "It's only a movie."

Kirby, on the other hand, will just bow out of watching a movie he feels will
wring him out emotionally or scare him.

Sandra