Re: family bed
Janet Hamlin
My son is 5 and still sleeps with us. I usually find myself completely
wrapped in his arms and legs when I wake up. He's been this way since
birth, and would not sleep in his crib at all (we tried some when I was
overwhelmed and just needed a break from him - no go).
Some nights we put him in his room at first (I lay with him until he's
asleep), but he knows beforehand that he's welcome in our bed when he wakes
up. He's usually in our bed by midnight, but it gives us some couple time.
Our older daughter slept with us until she was 7 or so, and on occasion
still wants to sleep with us. Our bed isn't big enough, though (king, but
she's 9 and as big as me) so we squish in.
Janet, who wouldn't have it any other way.
wrapped in his arms and legs when I wake up. He's been this way since
birth, and would not sleep in his crib at all (we tried some when I was
overwhelmed and just needed a break from him - no go).
Some nights we put him in his room at first (I lay with him until he's
asleep), but he knows beforehand that he's welcome in our bed when he wakes
up. He's usually in our bed by midnight, but it gives us some couple time.
Our older daughter slept with us until she was 7 or so, and on occasion
still wants to sleep with us. Our bed isn't big enough, though (king, but
she's 9 and as big as me) so we squish in.
Janet, who wouldn't have it any other way.
Ren
"I can understand the family bed (although we
didn't practice it) up until about 2 years of age and then it's just
not needed for most children,"
Do you really believe this? Human biological wiring causes us to need other humans. We are developed in a womb enveloped by another human being, hearing their heartbeat, feeling their warmth. How is it that at a certain age humans just suddenly wouldn't need another human to sleep near? I think some people do fine sleeping alone eventually, and others need another body near them all the time. Uniqueness of individuals.
If a parent has an idea that a two year old (or three or any age for that matter) can handle something just fine, without considering the individual development or looking for cues from the child, then they are not in touch with either their child or normal development stages.
My Jalen is almost three, he most certainly needs someone sleeping with him at night. Sierra and Jared still prefer to sleep with me at ages 6 and 10. Honoring their needs is really important to me. They don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals. I have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those character traits.
Ren
didn't practice it) up until about 2 years of age and then it's just
not needed for most children,"
Do you really believe this? Human biological wiring causes us to need other humans. We are developed in a womb enveloped by another human being, hearing their heartbeat, feeling their warmth. How is it that at a certain age humans just suddenly wouldn't need another human to sleep near? I think some people do fine sleeping alone eventually, and others need another body near them all the time. Uniqueness of individuals.
If a parent has an idea that a two year old (or three or any age for that matter) can handle something just fine, without considering the individual development or looking for cues from the child, then they are not in touch with either their child or normal development stages.
My Jalen is almost three, he most certainly needs someone sleeping with him at night. Sierra and Jared still prefer to sleep with me at ages 6 and 10. Honoring their needs is really important to me. They don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals. I have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those character traits.
Ren
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/26/2003 10:02:09 AM Central Standard Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
They don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals. I
have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those character traits.
~~~
Co-sleeping is not an automatic nightmare preventative. I still have
nightmares and vivid dreams, and my son had a nightmare just last night. Co-sleeping
does provide a way for the child to get comfort on the double, without the
feeling of aloneness I always experienced when I awoke from nightmares alone in
my bed as a child.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
starsuncloud@... writes:
They don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals. I
have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those character traits.
~~~
Co-sleeping is not an automatic nightmare preventative. I still have
nightmares and vivid dreams, and my son had a nightmare just last night. Co-sleeping
does provide a way for the child to get comfort on the double, without the
feeling of aloneness I always experienced when I awoke from nightmares alone in
my bed as a child.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
joylyn
tuckervill2@... wrote:
may suffer from more sleep disturbances such as nightmares than a child
who is comfortable in bed with a parent. Also, when my daughter has a
nightmare, I am right there to comfort her, to talk about it, and to
help her go back to sleep. However, if I was in another room, one of us
would have to get up in order to do this, which would even more disturb
a sleep cycle, and make it harder for people to go back to sleep.
Joylyn
> In a message dated 12/26/2003 10:02:09 AM Central Standard Time,I agree. But I also think that a child who is afraid in another room
> starsuncloud@... writes:
> They don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving
> individuals. I
> have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those
> character traits.
>
> ~~~
>
> Co-sleeping is not an automatic nightmare preventative.
may suffer from more sleep disturbances such as nightmares than a child
who is comfortable in bed with a parent. Also, when my daughter has a
nightmare, I am right there to comfort her, to talk about it, and to
help her go back to sleep. However, if I was in another room, one of us
would have to get up in order to do this, which would even more disturb
a sleep cycle, and make it harder for people to go back to sleep.
Joylyn
> I still have[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> nightmares and vivid dreams, and my son had a nightmare just last
> night. Co-sleeping
> does provide a way for the child to get comfort on the double, without
> the
> feeling of aloneness I always experienced when I awoke from nightmares
> alone in
> my bed as a child.
>
> Tuck
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
> <http://rd.yahoo.com/SIG=12cqovlab/M=266841.4316200.5507732.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=1705542111:HM/EXP=1072555338/A=1911858/R=0/*http://www.lifescapeinc.com/picasa/landing.php?capid=222&caId=1987>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> * To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/
>
> * To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
> <mailto:[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe>
>
> * Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/>.
>
>
Sheree
My dd is eight and still wants the family bed. She told me the
other day that when she is about 10, she may sleep in her own bed
sometimes. "OK, either way is fine with me; I am happy with it as
long as you are happy with it," was my response.
I think this is also a very practical way to sleep, too. Saves
space, safer in case of fires and reduces those horrible acts of
kidnapping....bad guys don't like to deal with Moma--or Daddy--
Bears in the bedroom... Just think about it!
And for parents that work outside of the home for many hours--this
is a perfect way to re-attach in the evening. The children and
parents need this!
sheree
heartbeat, feeling their warmth. How is it that at a certain age
humans just suddenly wouldn't need another human to sleep near? I
think some people do fine sleeping alone eventually, and others need
another body near them all the time. Uniqueness of individuals.
the individual development or looking for cues from the child, then
they are not in touch with either their child or normal development
stages.
ages 6 and 10. Honoring their needs is really important to me. They
don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals.
I have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those
character traits.
other day that when she is about 10, she may sleep in her own bed
sometimes. "OK, either way is fine with me; I am happy with it as
long as you are happy with it," was my response.
I think this is also a very practical way to sleep, too. Saves
space, safer in case of fires and reduces those horrible acts of
kidnapping....bad guys don't like to deal with Moma--or Daddy--
Bears in the bedroom... Just think about it!
And for parents that work outside of the home for many hours--this
is a perfect way to re-attach in the evening. The children and
parents need this!
sheree
> Human biological wiring causes us to need other humans. We aredeveloped in a womb enveloped by another human being, hearing their
heartbeat, feeling their warmth. How is it that at a certain age
humans just suddenly wouldn't need another human to sleep near? I
think some people do fine sleeping alone eventually, and others need
another body near them all the time. Uniqueness of individuals.
> If a parent has an idea that a two year old (or three or any agefor that matter) can handle something just fine, without considering
the individual development or looking for cues from the child, then
they are not in touch with either their child or normal development
stages.
>with him at night. Sierra and Jared still prefer to sleep with me at
> My Jalen is almost three, he most certainly needs someone sleeping
ages 6 and 10. Honoring their needs is really important to me. They
don't have nightmares, they are happy, calm and loving individuals.
I have NO doubt that honoring their sleep needs has aided those
character traits.
>
> Ren
Brandy
So true Sheree! I know that dh will be disappointed when the kids (5,
3 and 1) move on from the family bed. When he gets home from work
late at night he always pulls our 5yo ds away from me and snuggles up
with him :) He also gets excited when he wakes up to find the baby
has crawled over everyone else in the middle of the night to cuddle
up with him.
Brandy
--- In [email protected], "Sheree" <mortgagemoma@y...>
wrote:
3 and 1) move on from the family bed. When he gets home from work
late at night he always pulls our 5yo ds away from me and snuggles up
with him :) He also gets excited when he wakes up to find the baby
has crawled over everyone else in the middle of the night to cuddle
up with him.
Brandy
--- In [email protected], "Sheree" <mortgagemoma@y...>
wrote:
>
> And for parents that work outside of the home for many hours--this
> is a perfect way to re-attach in the evening. The children and
> parents need this!
>
> sheree
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 12/29/2003 6:29:43 AM Central Standard Time,
bdel99@... writes:
Awwwww.... :)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bdel99@... writes:
> He also gets excited when he wakes up to find the baby~~~
> has crawled over everyone else in the middle of the night to cuddle
> up with him.
>
Awwwww.... :)
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]