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I have missed the orgnail post but have read lots of the fallow up and so
forth. I am both the grand mother that watches for free and a mother and did
run a home day care for over 11 years.Also have ex in laws and a ex husband.
first when I was a young mother I had my ex mother in law(not ex at time)
watch my child, she was all I had and i wanted so badly to learn from her (why
I don't know problie some part of me wanted that mother 'daughter thing) Big
Big mistake in the beginning. to the point that my doctor told me look kid she
is having you take her to me for green poop( honestly she told me green meant
she was infected and need imedent help so off to Doc I went) Doctor laffed
said ya don't want it green don't feed her peas!!
Lesson for me: mothers Don't know every thing and They still family ,( later
lesson neither do doctors but that diff story.)
In later years I married a widower with children, We decided to go with out new
cars and other things to make it so I could stay at home and raise the kids and
I ran a home day care for on the avrage of 11 children coming and going on a
daily secduleI always did a 2 week trail to see if the kids could adjust and
if the parents and I could communicate and if the family's could do well
together. to elmatie the bigger problems like i need to turn into the Big bad
meanie. I may had been the hired help but I also felt I was a partner in
raising children the could be a good thing or a bad thing for all
involved.These children where to be part of my home daily.I became close to
these children and they to me we still get christmas cards and many still come
to my home or call many have kids of there own now and others do bragging with
there other freinds. sending a child to a sitter is gr8 for me and the parents
iof the children I watched as long as we knew that sending them to a sitter for
45 hours a week ment we where there to help raise happy children. there where
disagreements and we didt always agree but kept in mind that we did what was
best for the envrioment and children first if they where grounded at home then
that was at home and if they where grounded from tv there then it was between
them when they where older it held as i cant spend all my day keeping track
of who is what one from this or that.
I also watched and still watch my grand child this is a lil different we dont
always agree and never will and guess what I am not always right and neither is
her mother.and the green poop lady still is in the picture and nuttier than
ever. and still family.
This is how we deal in our family not by any means the right way just how it
has worked for us:
I watch Destiny (grandchild) and the entire family watches her as I also work
we feel it is a fmily thing for us to do,we still share a lot of the same
values,we had the oppist when destiny was small I wanted my daughter to nurse
longer and she got tired of it went to bottle guess what not my choice it was
hers. Hard lesson for me I am The grandmother not the mother. My daughter also
tok her to a sitter I didnt aprvoe of once or twice when we couldnt sit and
guess what I am not in charge I am greatful for what time I do have with
her.And I still have to bite my tounge alot when I here she is over there.
Then there is the green poop lady she tryed to teach Destiny how to lie to mom
and grand ma over something they dis agreed with I opened my mouth on this one
as it wasnt the issue of wether or not 4 was to old for a bottle (gr8 grandma
was sneeking her one cuz a sippie cup was inconvent for gr8 gma) I interveined
with the teaching to lie and hide things from mom my opion is and was that
teaching to lie and to use the they will be mad at you as a threat confuses
and in my opion sets up other issuses for pretature ext.
We limited time with gr8 grand ma.2 hour streches my daughter had a long talk
with her on what she was feeling. not that gr8 grandma still does what she
likes but that is the risk and she is family .Destiny will learn hopefully
from those she is exposed to the most and will still maintain a loving
realinship with her bio gr8 gama.
This is same that my paid sitting children did we looked for simular values
and ways of dealing with things in such amanner we could all live with.To
have some one watch your children paid realated or not It was important to us
as a family to rember they are in a big sence partnering in parenting. I often
have my grand child 50 or more hours a week just like I did with baby sitting
kids. and then a lot on week ends.In a lot of ways I know we are luckyer than
others as my youngest is 13 and oldest is 27 WE are all different in many
ways from devote Christens to pagan to agnostic. we all do things a lil
different when the christen watches the pagans kid they dont take off evey
thing that says christ and so forth we dont correct each other on belifs we
just know we are different and celbrate those differences and what a wonderful
way for US to be. the children choose, the children live and they grow. Despite
the bottles and green poop and learn thru example, to think for them selves.
And ya know what parents get to help thru example of communcation and showing
of love no matter how little(or big) the children are I for one belive they
learn about stress and conflict mangent before day one.
These are my opions not to reflect the opions of the group as a whole.I am no
expert and a newbie to this group myself. and value the opions of this group.
that does not mean I try every lil thing posted here heck I dont want to darn
socks! I have found this group to be loving helpful opionated and a gr8 asset
to my life.
Dee