Retta

>The oldest one wasn't unschooled at all. He helps with the dishes. :) The next
>one was unschooled from the age of 11. It's the worst with that one, but that
>could be just because we're going through it RIGHT NOW.

>I suspect it will be less intense with my youngest, always unschooled.


There could be lots of other factors coming into play here too. My 10yo likes to sweep or rake the yard, clean out the garage, wash floors, fold laundry etc., occasionally. The 15yo would die of boredom from monotinous things - always has - prefers a personal challenge like digging out shrubs, using power tools or helping Mom with the computer. He only seems to be less interested in helping out.

There's also the dynamic of the "middle child."

My 15yo is the firstborn son in an Italian family. He's a powerhouse and very expressive with his emotions. He's a hot head. Sometimes it's so hard for me. If he weren't also the tender, kind person that he is, I don't know what I'd do. I think he yelled, cussing, from age 13.5 to 15.5. It seems to be on the wane these days. I didn't realize that it was getting quiet around here until he erupted the other day with a thundering round of obsenities from the basement pool table.

We're pretty close and he tells me lots of things, but he has a secret life, just like Omri in "The Indian in the Cupboard." He wants to work it out on his own. I want to reassure him, but he dosn't want it. He wants to experience the full intensity of his emotions and his power. Aside from the crudeness, this is what the dog/cat thing means to me. It was much easier when he was little and wore his heart on his sleeve and wanted reassurance. That reassured ME. Now I'm faced with my own experience of teen angst again, with no reassurance from him!

Last year we took him parasailing (his choice.) He was very quiet for weeks afterwards. I think something primal was satisfied in him.

Retta





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Betsy

**
There could be lots of other factors coming into play here too. My
10yo likes to sweep or rake the yard, clean out the garage, wash floors,
fold laundry etc., occasionally. The 15yo would die of boredom from
monotinous things - always has - prefers a personal challenge like
digging out shrubs, using power tools or helping Mom with the computer.
He only seems to be less interested in helping out.**

The last time we talked about this I realized that some tasks are more
novel and contain more possibilities to learn something new.
Considering our kids are "wired" to learn, it's not surprising that they
may be reluctant to take on tasks that are repetitive and dull. (Not my
favorites either!)

Betsy