temper tantrums
joylyn
I was just noticing tonight how much my parenting has changed.
Tonight Janene had a tantrum in the store. I had stopped at walgreens
for something, and had an extra kid with me. THe kids wanted ice cream
but I only had so much cash and had forgotten my atm card, etc. so I
said I'd buy them what they wanted as long as it was less than about
70cents each, which was about what I had left to spend. Taylor and
Lexie picked out something pretty quickly but Janene kept choosing
things that were $3 or $9, or whatever. Finally she settled on
something that was $1.99, which I could have gotten if I hadn't of
gotten Taylor's or Lexie's. So I said no, she needed to choose
something under the price limit, as that was the cash on hand. She
desolved into tears. I tried talking to her but it was 8:00 and she was
tired and five, so I just put the things on the candy and started to pay
for them. She was at my feet, screaming and crying. I reached out and
picked up one of her favorite candy bars, KitKat, and paid for that
too. Janene refused to leave. She held on to the counter, screaming,
out of control. I picked her up and carried her gently to the car. Her
little arms wrapped around me and she loved on me as she was screaming
at me. I just held her tight, until she settled and then put her in her
carseat and we drove home. About half way home I started talking about
the plan for the evening, janene and I go upstairs to cuddle in bed, and
Lexie and Taylor wait downstairs for Taylor's mom. Janene started to
say she didn't have a candy when I told her that I had bought her a
candy. She was so happy.
Thisi s a long convoluted way of saying that a few years ago I would
have said "she doesn't get a candy, she had a tantrum." But thanks to
all of you, instead I thought "she is so tired, it's hard to make a
choice." I don't think she saw the candy as a "reward" for her
behavior, as I have been taught would happen. Instead I think she saw
it as a--I don't know, Sandra, Pam, all of you, help me out, a symbol of
my love, that even through she was upset, I still loved her. Maybe more.
Anyway, she's quiet in bed now and I'm going to go cuddle until she goes
to sleep.
Joylyn
Tonight Janene had a tantrum in the store. I had stopped at walgreens
for something, and had an extra kid with me. THe kids wanted ice cream
but I only had so much cash and had forgotten my atm card, etc. so I
said I'd buy them what they wanted as long as it was less than about
70cents each, which was about what I had left to spend. Taylor and
Lexie picked out something pretty quickly but Janene kept choosing
things that were $3 or $9, or whatever. Finally she settled on
something that was $1.99, which I could have gotten if I hadn't of
gotten Taylor's or Lexie's. So I said no, she needed to choose
something under the price limit, as that was the cash on hand. She
desolved into tears. I tried talking to her but it was 8:00 and she was
tired and five, so I just put the things on the candy and started to pay
for them. She was at my feet, screaming and crying. I reached out and
picked up one of her favorite candy bars, KitKat, and paid for that
too. Janene refused to leave. She held on to the counter, screaming,
out of control. I picked her up and carried her gently to the car. Her
little arms wrapped around me and she loved on me as she was screaming
at me. I just held her tight, until she settled and then put her in her
carseat and we drove home. About half way home I started talking about
the plan for the evening, janene and I go upstairs to cuddle in bed, and
Lexie and Taylor wait downstairs for Taylor's mom. Janene started to
say she didn't have a candy when I told her that I had bought her a
candy. She was so happy.
Thisi s a long convoluted way of saying that a few years ago I would
have said "she doesn't get a candy, she had a tantrum." But thanks to
all of you, instead I thought "she is so tired, it's hard to make a
choice." I don't think she saw the candy as a "reward" for her
behavior, as I have been taught would happen. Instead I think she saw
it as a--I don't know, Sandra, Pam, all of you, help me out, a symbol of
my love, that even through she was upset, I still loved her. Maybe more.
Anyway, she's quiet in bed now and I'm going to go cuddle until she goes
to sleep.
Joylyn
Ren
Anyway, she's quiet in bed now and I'm going to go cuddle until she goes
to sleep.
Very sweet. Nice story Joylyn, I'm glad you shared...and I'm glad she got a candy.
Ren
to sleep.
Very sweet. Nice story Joylyn, I'm glad you shared...and I'm glad she got a candy.
Ren