abuse stats, story
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In a message dated 10/27/03 7:34:28 AM, joylyn@... writes:
<< > I can't believe the 3 out of 4 number. I will have 4 kids. Are 3 of them
things are.
It doesn't come out all at once, and I had to be in my 30s before I heard of
some of them, but it seems to me between 1/3 and 1/2 of the women I know have
been raped or had an abortion or given a child up for adoption, or two or
three of all that.
I'm pretty talkative, and personal conversations are easy for people to have
with me. I've had strangers tell me about their lives. So I might hear more
than most people, but I was surprised when I started realizing how many women
had been raped (not to even start on inappropriate touch).
AND after I said yesterday "never a touch," I thought of something. In
seventh grade my friend Martha and I used to have to go across prevailing traffic
up a really busy hall at school for one of our class changes. A guy (we never
knew who he was) used to make a hard finger (like a birdie finger) and stick
it between our legs as hard as he could, and he did it when the hall was so
crowded we couldn't possibly turn around and smack him or catch him. There were
only six classrooms in that hall, and we had told Mr. Merhege who was nicest
and tallest of them, and pointed the boy out, and he tried to catch him, but
whenever Mr. Merhege was looking it didn't happen. We were wearing skirts (not
allowed to wear pants) and he would reach under if he could, but even through
the cloth it would hurt. I think he did it to me three times, and did it to
Martha twice that, over a month or so.
I look at it now and think how minor a thing it probably seemed to the people
in charge of hundreds of Jr. High aged kids. But if it happened at a
homeschooling get-together (COULD it? Would it EVER?) it would be the big deal of
the season, and be dealt with immediately.
Sandra
<< > I can't believe the 3 out of 4 number. I will have 4 kids. Are 3 of them
> gonna be molested? Only 1 of my friends was molested as a child.of which you know.
>>But Shyrley grew up in England, and it could EASILY be quite different. Most
things are.
It doesn't come out all at once, and I had to be in my 30s before I heard of
some of them, but it seems to me between 1/3 and 1/2 of the women I know have
been raped or had an abortion or given a child up for adoption, or two or
three of all that.
I'm pretty talkative, and personal conversations are easy for people to have
with me. I've had strangers tell me about their lives. So I might hear more
than most people, but I was surprised when I started realizing how many women
had been raped (not to even start on inappropriate touch).
AND after I said yesterday "never a touch," I thought of something. In
seventh grade my friend Martha and I used to have to go across prevailing traffic
up a really busy hall at school for one of our class changes. A guy (we never
knew who he was) used to make a hard finger (like a birdie finger) and stick
it between our legs as hard as he could, and he did it when the hall was so
crowded we couldn't possibly turn around and smack him or catch him. There were
only six classrooms in that hall, and we had told Mr. Merhege who was nicest
and tallest of them, and pointed the boy out, and he tried to catch him, but
whenever Mr. Merhege was looking it didn't happen. We were wearing skirts (not
allowed to wear pants) and he would reach under if he could, but even through
the cloth it would hurt. I think he did it to me three times, and did it to
Martha twice that, over a month or so.
I look at it now and think how minor a thing it probably seemed to the people
in charge of hundreds of Jr. High aged kids. But if it happened at a
homeschooling get-together (COULD it? Would it EVER?) it would be the big deal of
the season, and be dealt with immediately.
Sandra
Tia Leschke
>I'm having a heck of a time figuring out how accidental pregnancy fits with
>
>It doesn't come out all at once, and I had to be in my 30s before I heard of
>some of them, but it seems to me between 1/3 and 1/2 of the women I know have
>been raped or had an abortion or given a child up for adoption, or two or
>three of all that.
being raped or abused. I mean, I know rape or abuse sometimes results in
pregnancy, but that certainly isn't the only way it happens. Certainly not
how mine happened. %^ )
Tia
Angela McGinn
And reading what you just wrote reminded me of my middle school experience! During 4th-8th grade, I lived in a rural SC town. I shudder to think of all the sexual behavior that we exhibited at such early ages. (Mostly because I have 2 daughters of my own.)
Our classes were very small. In 4th & 5th grade, there were only 2 classes of kids. There was a group of about 20-25 of us who hung out together. We were french-kissing at 9 years old! There wasn't a whole lot to do in this town to begin with. And looking back, I think the parenting was definitely part of it. Parents tended to look the other way. And the birthday parties were where a large part of the kissing went on. Parents would just disappear for a long time and we would have free reign to "spin the bottle" in private.
In middle school (6th-8th), our town combined with 2 more towns in one school. So the number of kids increased. But the sexual behavior escalated from french kissing to touching (guys touching girls) in private areas while walking down the halls, standing in line, while at your locker, on the playground at recess.....pretty much anywhere. This went on forever! None of us girls ever told on the guys or even complained about it. The guys had been our friends for so long we didn't want to get them in trouble. Obviously, none of us thought very much of ourselves back then. I think we even thought it made us more grown up. How pathetic. Finally in 8th grade, one of the teachers saw what was going on and turned us all in. The principal's office was PACKED with us all crammed in there. It was a female principal who basically told us girls that we should be ashamed and have more respect for ourselves.....like that would happen just because she told us it should. The boys were told it was wrong. But the girls were made to feel guilty about it. End of discussion.
No one can tell me this type of behavior doesn't exist anymore in public schools. I would imagine it's probably worse depending on where you live. How sad.
Angela McGinn
AND after I said yesterday "never a touch," I thought of something. In
seventh grade my friend Martha and I used to have to go across prevailing traffic
up a really busy hall at school for one of our class changes. A guy (we never
knew who he was) used to make a hard finger (like a birdie finger) and stick
it between our legs as hard as he could, and he did it when the hall was so
crowded we couldn't possibly turn around and smack him or catch him. There were
only six classrooms in that hall, and we had told Mr. Merhege who was nicest
and tallest of them, and pointed the boy out, and he tried to catch him, but
whenever Mr. Merhege was looking it didn't happen. We were wearing skirts (not
allowed to wear pants) and he would reach under if he could, but even through
the cloth it would hurt. I think he did it to me three times, and did it to
Martha twice that, over a month or so.
I look at it now and think how minor a thing it probably seemed to the people
in charge of hundreds of Jr. High aged kids. But if it happened at a
homeschooling get-together (COULD it? Would it EVER?) it would be the big deal of
the season, and be dealt with immediately.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Our classes were very small. In 4th & 5th grade, there were only 2 classes of kids. There was a group of about 20-25 of us who hung out together. We were french-kissing at 9 years old! There wasn't a whole lot to do in this town to begin with. And looking back, I think the parenting was definitely part of it. Parents tended to look the other way. And the birthday parties were where a large part of the kissing went on. Parents would just disappear for a long time and we would have free reign to "spin the bottle" in private.
In middle school (6th-8th), our town combined with 2 more towns in one school. So the number of kids increased. But the sexual behavior escalated from french kissing to touching (guys touching girls) in private areas while walking down the halls, standing in line, while at your locker, on the playground at recess.....pretty much anywhere. This went on forever! None of us girls ever told on the guys or even complained about it. The guys had been our friends for so long we didn't want to get them in trouble. Obviously, none of us thought very much of ourselves back then. I think we even thought it made us more grown up. How pathetic. Finally in 8th grade, one of the teachers saw what was going on and turned us all in. The principal's office was PACKED with us all crammed in there. It was a female principal who basically told us girls that we should be ashamed and have more respect for ourselves.....like that would happen just because she told us it should. The boys were told it was wrong. But the girls were made to feel guilty about it. End of discussion.
No one can tell me this type of behavior doesn't exist anymore in public schools. I would imagine it's probably worse depending on where you live. How sad.
Angela McGinn
AND after I said yesterday "never a touch," I thought of something. In
seventh grade my friend Martha and I used to have to go across prevailing traffic
up a really busy hall at school for one of our class changes. A guy (we never
knew who he was) used to make a hard finger (like a birdie finger) and stick
it between our legs as hard as he could, and he did it when the hall was so
crowded we couldn't possibly turn around and smack him or catch him. There were
only six classrooms in that hall, and we had told Mr. Merhege who was nicest
and tallest of them, and pointed the boy out, and he tried to catch him, but
whenever Mr. Merhege was looking it didn't happen. We were wearing skirts (not
allowed to wear pants) and he would reach under if he could, but even through
the cloth it would hurt. I think he did it to me three times, and did it to
Martha twice that, over a month or so.
I look at it now and think how minor a thing it probably seemed to the people
in charge of hundreds of Jr. High aged kids. But if it happened at a
homeschooling get-together (COULD it? Would it EVER?) it would be the big deal of
the season, and be dealt with immediately.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]