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**If we spent our childhoods doing what our parents wanted us to do and we
enter adulthood (and then parenthood) trying to fulfill the need to do what
we want, then we pass that legacy of neediness and unhappiness onto our
children. And our relationship with our kids isn't as joyful as it could be
because using our power to get our way creates an adversarial relationship
with them.**

Have you seen the commercial for some mortgage deal (probably Fannie Mae)
where the man is standing in his house talking on the phone? "Mom, I just wanted
you to know that I've got every light in the house on." Then he moves into the
doorway and says "And tell dad I've got the door wide open air conditioning
the outdoors." I get such a kick out of that commercial, and have gotten tons
of good conversations out of it with my kids.

My husband is sometimes prone to issue "As long as you live in MY house"
statements. I always ask him if he really wants to insure the children do whatever
it is as soon as they walk out our door. He really ought to know better. He
started smoking on his 18th birthday because his parents had told him they'd
better not catch him smoking before he was an adult.

Deborah in IL


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 10/19/03 12:48 AM, dacunefare@... at dacunefare@... wrote:

> Have you seen the commercial for some mortgage deal (probably Fannie Mae)
> where the man is standing in his house talking on the phone? "Mom, I just
> wanted you to know that I've got every light in the house on." Then he moves
> into the doorway and says "And tell dad I've got the door wide open air
> conditioning the outdoors." I get such a kick out of that commercial, and
> have gotten tons of good conversations out of it with my kids.

No, I haven't! But what an image. That is funny!

Joyce