Kathy

I typed a nice long response, but the computer ate it!!!

I can't seem to get a message to reply directly. I have to go in &
send a seperate post. Is anyone else having this problem?


Well, I just wanted to say that you have definetely vented to
sympathetic ears. It always saddens me to see children more attached
to the daycare workers or even worse to no one at all then their own
family. And this thing about not allowing siblings to be together
just boggles my mind. I have heard so many people of my parents
generation talk about how great their kids got along until they
started school & then it was all down hill from there. My two
children play wonderfully together the vast majority of the time. It
always surprises me to hear that that is not the norm in our society.

I think it is hard for a parent to ever admit that something they
have done to or for their children is wrong. Despite this, maybe
something that you have said to your sister will sink in one day or
maybe she will witness an incident and everything you have said will
kick in. If nothing else she is witness to the example & closeness
of your family. I know it must make you feel so sad to see your
sister and her kids miss out on something so special that they will
never get back.

As for your comment on the toilet training of elephants, or was that
children, it reminded me of a time that I was at a pre-school doing a
toy fundraiser. There were about 15 kids all lined up waiting to go
to the bathroom. This by itself was a little unsettling, but not as
much as what followed. This daycare worker stepped out of the
bathroom with a face mask on and gloves with her hands held up. It
looked like something out of a horror flick. One of the children
toward the end of the line could not wait & had an accident. A
complete sterilization of the room then took place. This took some
time & the entire time these kids just sat there waiting their turn
to use the toilet. It just amazed me that these kids could actually
just sit there for so long. I left that school crying & never
returned to another day care again.

It can really be disheartening to witness such tragedy. Best of luck
with supporting your niece & nephew in any way you can.

Kat.

AM Brown

> My two
> children play wonderfully together the vast majority of the time. It
> always surprises me to hear that that is not the norm in our society.

Thankfully, this is the norm in our house too. 18 months ago that wasn't
the case. When we pealed back the layers we realized it was coming from
TV, PBS kids to be specific. My girls decided to stop watching on their
own and literally within 48 hours we had a new house and have never looked
back. This programming was filled with sibling rivalry and bullying -
things that are not in their day to day life (or mine). We have chosen not
to put them in the artificial environment of school so it seemed strange to
bring that environment into our home. I really have come to believe so
much of what our society believes about children is just plain wrong
(sibling rivalry, kids are mean, kids need to be taught, etc.). I
realized TV is a 'hot' subject on unschooling lists, for me it is not about
the TV but about coercion. I would not have forced my children to stop
watching TV, we talked about what was happening in our home and they came
up with a solution that worked for all of us. They continue to watch
videos of their choice, mostly birth videos and animal videos and play a
lot of computer games.


I also wanted to comment on the registering in NC post. There have been
too many overzealous DSS cases here for me to consider not registering. We
have made choices that many considered 'outside the norm' (extended breast
feeding, co-sleeping, not vaccinating, unschooling, etc ). While I feel
these decisions are well researched and the best for my family, I don't
want to specifically break a law that might jeopardize my family. The
testing requirement goes totally against my beliefs but as I have talked to
more homeschoolers it seems it really can be handled in a non-threatening,
no big deal kind of way.

Anna