Retta Fontana

From: "Susan" <learn41life@y...>
Date: Fri Aug 22, 2003 2:57 pm
Subject: new to this group-help-long

ADVERTISEMENT
Hello, my name is Susan. I have two children, a daughter age 15, and
a son age 12. I practice attachment parenting, I breast fed both kids
until they were over three. We have always homeschooled, neither has
ever had a curriculum. Lately my dd has been looking forward to
college. She wants to go soon, and wants to start using some sort of
curriculum.

It sounds to me like your daughter is an intelligent person and knows what she wants and needs. I try to give my kids whatever learning/life tools they tell me they need no matter how unpleasant I think it is - that's the basis for unschooling, no? - to trust the child's intelligence and self-direction? Texts and workbooks are not evil in themselves, just another source in the world at our disposal.

A year ago my daughter (9yo then) decided she wanted to opt-in to the local public school art and gym classes. Boy, I really didn't want to do that!! I was terrified of all the problems I imagined it bringing. I had quite a time of it separating my fears from her decisions. But we did it and it's worked out great for her. She gets the occasional comment from other children wishing they could homeschool too.

One day the gym teacher said he would be giving a written test on safety. My daughter said she wasn't gonna do it. She wanted to stay home from gym until it after the test. I told her that she would probably have to make up the test at some later date. She asked me to write the gym teacher a letter excusing her from the test. I did! I told him that written tests were against our religion and I appreciated his honoring "our diversity in this matter." John Holt says you've gotta speak their language, you know! We then had to decide what our religion was. She decided to tell him that it was secret. "You mean you can't tell me?" She shook her head and when she walked away she almost died laughing, she said. He let her pass out the pencils and tests and collect them. She was happy. She knows how ridiculous all that crap is, but the games are fun so she goes.

Anyway, I just came across something in Growing Without Schooling about a great math textbook that Holt recommended for older kids through adult who want one. It's called, "Mathematics: A human endeavor" by Harold R. Jacobs. I found it in our library and I will keep it in mind if my daughter ever decides she wants something like that. It looked interesting. I thought it worth mentioning. There's so much good stuff in that GWS.

I also found a happy little book called "The Joy of Mathematics: Discovering Math. All Around You" (Theoni Pappas) sitting next to it on the shelf which I did check out. Each page gives a brief description of a historical structure, optical illusion or some concrete thing in the world and then a drawing and a puzzle, brain-teaser or logic problem to figure out. My 15yo became engaged in it immediately.

Fondly,

Retta



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Susan

--- In [email protected], Retta Fontana
<rettafontana@y...> wrote:
> From: "Susan" <learn41life@y...>
> Date: Fri Aug 22, 2003 2:57 pm
> Subject: new to this group-help-long
>
> ADVERTISEMENT
> Hello, my name is Susan. I have two children, a daughter age 15,
and
> a son age 12. I practice attachment parenting, I breast fed both
kids
> until they were over three. We have always homeschooled, neither
has
> ever had a curriculum. Lately my dd has been looking forward to
> college. She wants to go soon, and wants to start using some sort
of
> curriculum.
>
> It sounds to me like your daughter is an intelligent person and
knows what she wants and needs. I try to give my kids whatever
learning/life tools they tell me they need no matter how unpleasant I
think it is - that's the basis for unschooling, no? - to trust the
child's intelligence and self-direction? Texts and workbooks are not
evil in themselves, just another source in the world at our
disposal.
>
>
> Anyway, I just came across something in Growing Without Schooling
about a great math textbook that Holt recommended for older kids
through adult who want one. It's called, "Mathematics: A human
endeavor" by Harold R. Jacobs. I found it in our library and I will
keep it in mind if my daughter ever decides she wants something like
that. It looked interesting. I thought it worth mentioning.
There's so much good stuff in that GWS.
>
> I also found a happy little book called "The Joy of Mathematics:
Discovering Math. All Around You" (Theoni Pappas) sitting next to it
on the shelf which I did check out. Each page gives a brief
description of a historical structure, optical illusion or some
concrete thing in the world and then a drawing and a puzzle, brain-
teaser or logic problem to figure out. My 15yo became engaged in it
immediately.
>
> Fondly,
>
> Retta

Thank you! I guess I needed that push. My dh keeps telling me that I
won't be "breaking any rules" since there really aren't any. I need
to listen to him more. <g> I sometimes think that since unschooling
came so naturally to us, that I have as much a hard time letting
schoolish things in as people who school-at-home do letting go of
some of that control. And your thing about your daughter taking tests
in gym, that's cool. My dh said getting this program for our dd to
use isn't like I am going to be saying things like; "It is 9 o'clock
now, get out your math book and do the odd problems on pages 52 and
53. Then study last weeks chapter for the test this afternoon." I
will be approaching this just like I approach every thing else, here
it is/use it if you want/hope it helps/I'll be over here if you have
a question...

When she was little, everything was so hands on with her. Every day
was filled with coloring and cutting and pasting. Reading till our
voices hurt was a common thing. Going out to work together in the
garden was an adventure and most years we didn't grow too much
because we all spent time digging things up to look at roots, or
playing with the bugs. Now she has her own small plot where she grows
her own things, mostly experiments that she doesn't want us to mess
with. And we don't read aloud as much as we used to. Well, that isn't
true. We just don't read stories like we did. Now we will say things
like "Oh, you should read this book/article.. it says here..." and
then read something. She has her own friends and interests and Mom
just isn't included as much.

I think my whole problem with this math thing really isn't that. I
think I am starting to experience empty nest syndrome. Because when
she was 3 and 6 and even 10 and 12, she showed me everything and now
she has developed such a wonderful arena of friends she has many
other people of all ages, to share things with, not just me. Don't
get me wrong. This was my goal, I wanted her to grow up and be well
rounded, to be curious about the world, to be interesting,
independent, strong, and happy. I, or rather she achieved my goal
many times over. She is all of those things, and more. She is smart,
quick, has a wonderfully sharp wit, she has aspirations and goals for
herself and she has plans all laid out, she is beautiful and takes
pride in herself. I should be happier about all this than I am. But I
always said, if they could live at home with me forever I would be
happy. So I will just have to be happy with math too!

Susan

Darlene Popoalii

--- On Tue 08/26, Retta Fontana < rettafontana@... > wrote:
From: Retta Fontana [mailto: rettafontana@...]
To: [email protected]
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 2003 07:24:58 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] RE: math textbook dilemma

From: "Susan" <learn41life@y...> <br>Date: Fri Aug 22, 2003 2:57 pm<br>Subject: new to this group-help-long<br><br>ADVERTISEMENT<br>Hello, my name is Susan. I have two children, a daughter age 15, and <br>a son age 12. I practice attachment parenting, I breast fed both kids <br>until they were over three. We have always homeschooled, neither has <br>ever had a curriculum. Lately my dd has been looking forward to <br>college. She wants to go soon, and wants to start using some sort of <br>curriculum. <br><br>It sounds to me like your daughter is an intelligent person and knows what she wants and needs. I try to give my kids whatever learning/life tools they tell me they need no matter how unpleasant I think it is - that's the basis for unschooling, no? - to trust the child's intelligence and self-direction? Texts and workbooks are not evil in themselves, just another source in the world at our disposal. <br><br>A year ago my daughter (9yo then) decided she wanted to opt-in to the local public school art and gym classes. Boy, I really didn't want to do that!! I was terrified of all the problems I imagined it bringing. I had quite a time of it separating my fears from her decisions. But we did it and it's worked out great for her. She gets the occasional comment from other children wishing they could homeschool too.<br><br>One day the gym teacher said he would be giving a written test on safety. My daughter said she wasn't gonna do it. She wanted to stay home from gym until it after the test. I told her that she would probably have to make up the test at some later date. She asked me to write the gym teacher a letter excusing her from the test. I did! I told him that written tests were against our religion and I appreciated his honoring "our diversity in this matter." John Holt says you've gotta speak their language, you know! We then had to decide what our religion was. She decided to tell him that it was secret. "You mean you can't tell me?" She shook her head and when she walked away she almost died laughing, she said. He let her pass out the pencils and tests and collect them. She was happy. She knows how ridiculous all that crap is, but the games are fun so she goes.<br><br>Anyway, I just came across something in Growing Without Schooling about a great math textbook that Holt recommended for older kids through adult who want one. It's called, "Mathematics: A human endeavor" by Harold R. Jacobs. I found it in our library and I will keep it in mind if my daughter ever decides she wants something like that. It looked interesting. I thought it worth mentioning. There's so much good stuff in that GWS.<br><br>I also found a happy little book called "The Joy of Mathematics: Discovering Math. All Around You" (Theoni Pappas) sitting next to it on the shelf which I did check out. Each page gives a brief description of a historical structure, optical illusion or some concrete thing in the world and then a drawing and a puzzle, brain-teaser or logic problem to figure out. My 15yo became engaged in it immediately.<br><br>Fondly,<br><br>Retta<br><br><br><br>---------------------------------<br>Do you Yahoo!?<br>Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software<br><br>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]<br><br><br>------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--><br>Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for Your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark<br>Printer at Myinks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US & Canada. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511<br>http://us.click.yahoo.com/l.m7sD/LIdGAA/qnsNAA/fHIqlB/TM<br>---------------------------------------------------------------------~-><br><br>To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:<br>[email protected]<br><br> <br><br>Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ <br><br><br>

I loved reading this post, your dd sounds so kewl! I once used the it's against our religion arguement w/a manager at Border's book store when he was requesting more prove of hs'ing than I had becuz it wasn't required by law. LOL I was sweating, hoping he didn't ask what religion we were but now I know what to say, thanks.

OH and the Mathematics, The Human Endeavor by Harold Jacobs is great, Rainbow books sells it the cheapest, we can't wait to get the book and a pool table.

Darlene

_______________________________________________

Retta Fontana

Empty nest syndrome! Anyone with older kids can relate to that. I watch my beautiful babies-come-adults maturing hourly - yikes! I love each phase, and I'm delighted with them as people, but I miss those baby years too. Life was simple. Not easy, back-breaking, but simple.

That's really beautiful, Susan, that you can acknowledge what your inner struggle with the issue really is. Whenever I start resisting what shows up with my kids, I know that I have a problem. They have no problem! They are constantly changing and at times it triggers something inside me. It's usually fear of something. Then I know that I have work to do on myself. My job is to stop avoiding the feeling that is coming up and just feel it. Then I fall into clarity about the situation. I think that demonstrates responsibility to children in a way that nothing else can. Great work!

Fondly,
Retta "To thine own self be true."


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joanna514

***Anyway, I just came across something in Growing Without Schooling
about a great
math textbook that Holt recommended for older kids through adult who
want one.
It's called, "Mathematics: A human endeavor" by Harold R. Jacobs.***


Thank you! I'll check that one out.
Joanna