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I don't know who collected these, but it's an interesting collection, and
it's when my kids get jokes like these (which they usually do) that I realize
how much they learn without "instruction." I wish sometimes I could catch
all the late-night intro stand-up, but I'm never still that time of night unless
I'm watching Simpsons with Holly.

-----------------------------------

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's

positions on civil liberties in the original German." -- Bill Maher, on

Schwarznegger running for Governor.


President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not,

because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father

wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at

all." Bill Maher


President Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before he left he had his

annual physical and it turns out his cholesterol now is lower than his

approval rating." David Letterman


"Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor

of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who

now live in the second flakiest state in the country." Conan O'Brien


They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to

his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." Craig Kilborn


"Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day

vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas and on the first day of

his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any fish but he believes

they're there and that his intelligence is accurate." David Letterman


The White House released a videotape of President Bush meeting with his

cabinet and today Iraqi officials say they believe the tape is

authentic." Jay Leno


"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq. Why

don't we just give them ours? It's served us well for 200 years, and we

don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?" Jay Leno


"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President

Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?"

David Letterman


"(President Bush) used his press conference to come out very strongly

against gay marriage. And then he said on a personal note, he

apologized if he had done anything to lead Tony Blair on." Bill Maher


President Bush's economic team is now on their jobs and growth bus tour

all across America. I think the only job they created so far is for the

guy driving the bus." Jay Leno


President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional

9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy:

Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats." Jay Leno

Kathleen and David Gehrke

Bill Maher is one of my very favorite political
comedians. His show on HBO is very smart. The kids and
I record if we are going to be gone.
Kathleen
--- SandraDodd@... wrote:
> I don't know who collected these, but it's an
> interesting collection, and
> it's when my kids get jokes like these (which they
> usually do) that I realize
> how much they learn without "instruction." I
> wish sometimes I could catch
> all the late-night intro stand-up, but I'm never
> still that time of night unless
> I'm watching Simpsons with Holly.
>
> -----------------------------------
>
> "Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush
> administration's
>
> positions on civil liberties in the original
> German." -- Bill Maher, on
>
> Schwarznegger running for Governor.
>
>
> President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of
> Republicans are not,
>
> because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said
> if his father
>
> wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with
> conservatives at
>
> all." Bill Maher
>
>
> President Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before
> he left he had his
>
> annual physical and it turns out his cholesterol now
> is lower than his
>
> approval rating." David Letterman
>
>
> "Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would
> run for governor
>
> of California. The announcement was good news for
> Florida residents who
>
> now live in the second flakiest state in the
> country." Conan O'Brien
>
>
> They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At
> least according to
>
> his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." Craig Kilborn
>
>
> "Well, we're all excited because President Bush has
> started his 35-day
>
> vacation. He's down there in Crawford, Texas and on
> the first day of
>
> his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find any
> fish but he believes
>
> they're there and that his intelligence is
> accurate." David Letterman
>
>
> The White House released a videotape of President
> Bush meeting with his
>
> cabinet and today Iraqi officials say they believe
> the tape is
>
> authentic." Jay Leno
>
>
> "The United States is putting together a
> Constitution now for Iraq. Why
>
> don't we just give them ours? It's served us well
> for 200 years, and we
>
> don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the
> hell?" Jay Leno
>
>
> "The White House says that the vacation in Texas
> will give President
>
> Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does
> the guy wind?"
>
> David Letterman
>
>
> "(President Bush) used his press conference to come
> out very strongly
>
> against gay marriage. And then he said on a personal
> note, he
>
> apologized if he had done anything to lead Tony
> Blair on." Bill Maher
>
>
> President Bush's economic team is now on their jobs
> and growth bus tour
>
> all across America. I think the only job they
> created so far is for the
>
> guy driving the bus." Jay Leno
>
>
> President Bush has refused to declassify portions of
> the congressional
>
> 9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it
> will help the enemy:
>
> Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats." Jay Leno
>


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