princessdee20012001

I have recived this on a few list i belong to. So I couldnt resit
resending it to you.
When I first got it it was after we had just got two rabbits. I got
the franic phone call at work to inform me that one of my male
rabbits had a baby showing and or it had a sudden growth my 18
year old was in tears and my husband didnt know what to do and my
12 year old and 18 year old ran it up to my work wanting me to close
the store and run them to the vet,in the middle of a convence store I
had a lesson in rabbit anatomny with the vet on the phone.( Just to
note when a male rabbit gets to warm and or excited there testie
drop.) how ever the other "male" was a female and we had little
babie lops.
So when I got this in a list that night or the next i was laffin
so hard I woke my hubby up.
Enjoy,
Dee




>> If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet
> > > >> syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish,
the story
>
> > > below
> > > >> will have you laughing out LOUD!
> > > >>
> > > >> Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. Here's
what
> > > >> happened:
> > > >>
> > > >> Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there
was
> > > >> "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds
prisoner in
> his
> > > >> room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm
> serious,
> > > Dad.
> > > >> Can you help?"
> > > >>
> > > >> I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and
followed him
> > > >> into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying
on his
> >back,
> > > >> looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I
called,
> >"come
> > > >> look at the hamster!"
> > > >>
> > > >> "Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's
having

> > > >> babies."
> > > >>
> > > >> "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and
Ernie, Mom!"
> > > >> I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we
said we
> > > didn't
> > > >> want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their
cage?" she
> > > >> inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)
> > > >>
> > > >> "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her,
(in my
> > > >> most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth
together).
> > > >>
> > > >> "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you
know," she
> > > >> informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?) By now the
rest of
>
> >the
> > > >> family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged,
deciding
> to
> > > make
> > > >> the best of it.
> > > >>

> > > >> "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I
announced.
> > > >> "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
> > > >>
> > > >> "OH, Gross!", they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just Great!;
what are
>
> > > >> we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?"
my wife
>
> > > >wanted
> > > >> to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too.
don't
> you?)
> > > We
> > > >> peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked
like a
> tiny
> > > foot
> > > >> would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We
don't
> appear
> >to
> > > >> be
> > > >> making much progress," I noted.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something,
Dad!" my
> > > >> son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and
grabbed the
> foot
> > > >> when
> > > >> it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared.
I tried
> > > >several
> > > >> more times with the same results.
> > > >>

> > > >> "Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to
know. "Maybe they
> > > >> could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here
with the
> > > >females
> > > >> in my house?)
> > > >>
> > > >> "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the
vet
> > > >> with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie,
breathe,"
> he
> > > >> urged.
> > > >>
> > > >> "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him.
(Women
> > > >> can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to
me is
> one
> > > >> thing,
> > > >> but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)
> > > >>
> > > >> The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at
the
> > > >> little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you
think, Doc, a
>
> > > >> c-section?"
> > > >>
> > > >> I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he
murmured.
> > > >> "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a
moment?" I
>
> > > >> gulped,

> > > >> nodding for my son to step outside.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
> > > >>
> > > >> Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in
labor.
> > > >> In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy."
> > > >>
> > > >> "What?"
> > > >>
> > > >> "You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they
come into
>
> > > >> maturity, like most male species, they
um....um....masturbate. Just
> the
> > > >way
> > > >> he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my
wife. "Well,
> you
> > > >> know
> > > >> what I'm saying, Mr.Cameron."
> > > >>
> > > >> We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's
just...just...Excited,"
> > > >> my wife offered.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More
> > > >> silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And
giggle.
> And
> > > >> then

> > > >> even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing,
but not
> > > >> believing
> > > >> that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront
to my
> >flawless
> > > >> manliness. Tears were now running down her face. "It's
> >just...that...I'm
> > > >> picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she
gasped
> for
> > > more
> > > >> air to bellow in laughter once more.
> > > >>
> > > >> "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Veterinarian and
hurriedly
>
> > > >> bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was
glad
> > > everything
> > > >> was going to be okay.
> > > >>
> > > >> "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad,"
he told
> > > >> me.
> > > >>
> > > >> "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with
laughter.
> > > >>
> > > >> 2 - Hamsters - 10 bucks...
> > > >>
> > > >> 1 - Cage - 20 bucks
> > > >>
> > > >> Trip to the Vet ...30 bucks...
> > > >>

> > > >> Pictures of your hubby pulling on the hamster's
> >wacker........Priceless!