another sports question
csobun
Hi, I am new to the group, and would like to jump right in with a
question. I would like some opinions on my (and my son's) situation.
My son (9 years old) is pretty emotional - quick to feel anger,
frustration and sadness, but also fairly quick to recover from these
emotions, and quick to smile and laugh. He just joined a soccer
league after never having played before. We thought we had found the
perfect group. Their first five rules stress the facts that the kids
are supposed to have fun and that parents and coaches should be
encouraging and supportive. There is no score kept, and no trophys
at the end of the season. He was quite excited about this venture and
we had several practices in our own backyard.
He had his first practice last Wednesday, and afterwards he told me
he would never go back. He was in hysterical tears all the way home.
Some of his issues were a bully - a girl who pushed him at one point,
called him a "dork", hit another kid in the back of the head with a
ball and threatened to hit yet another one later at school; he did
not get a chance to play goalie (all the kids wanted to be goalie -
the coach used rock, paper, acissors to decide); he couldn't keep up
with the other kids at one point; and some breathing problems (he has
a slight asmtha problem) where he had to stop to catch his breath,
while the other kids continued practicing.
I would like to encourage him - maybe even push him a little - to
give it another try. It seems to me there are several good lessons
to learn here, like dealing with disagreeable people, standing up for
yourself, realizing you have to work at something and practice to get
better at it, and that you have to work with what you have got (his
breathing issues). I will admit to having my own issues about
running from something that proves to be unpleasant or difficult.
I was thinking I may need to talk to the coach about this girl who
was giving him a hard time. At least to make him aware of the
situation. Any other advice or opinions? Should I just let him
quit? Any ideas would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Peace, Camille
question. I would like some opinions on my (and my son's) situation.
My son (9 years old) is pretty emotional - quick to feel anger,
frustration and sadness, but also fairly quick to recover from these
emotions, and quick to smile and laugh. He just joined a soccer
league after never having played before. We thought we had found the
perfect group. Their first five rules stress the facts that the kids
are supposed to have fun and that parents and coaches should be
encouraging and supportive. There is no score kept, and no trophys
at the end of the season. He was quite excited about this venture and
we had several practices in our own backyard.
He had his first practice last Wednesday, and afterwards he told me
he would never go back. He was in hysterical tears all the way home.
Some of his issues were a bully - a girl who pushed him at one point,
called him a "dork", hit another kid in the back of the head with a
ball and threatened to hit yet another one later at school; he did
not get a chance to play goalie (all the kids wanted to be goalie -
the coach used rock, paper, acissors to decide); he couldn't keep up
with the other kids at one point; and some breathing problems (he has
a slight asmtha problem) where he had to stop to catch his breath,
while the other kids continued practicing.
I would like to encourage him - maybe even push him a little - to
give it another try. It seems to me there are several good lessons
to learn here, like dealing with disagreeable people, standing up for
yourself, realizing you have to work at something and practice to get
better at it, and that you have to work with what you have got (his
breathing issues). I will admit to having my own issues about
running from something that proves to be unpleasant or difficult.
I was thinking I may need to talk to the coach about this girl who
was giving him a hard time. At least to make him aware of the
situation. Any other advice or opinions? Should I just let him
quit? Any ideas would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Peace, Camille
Paula Sjogerman
Hey Camille -
I've had situations like this with my 9 yr old son. He quit Tae Kwon Do
mostly because he didn't like the behavior of some of the kids in class. He
cannot let things roll off his back. (Also he did not like the way the
uniform felt, but would not wear just his belt because it wasn't "correct."
!!)
We talked about it then and we still discuss it sometimes, but there was
nothing I could do that could make that class worth it for him. I'm hoping
this changes as he gets older, but who knows?
Paula
I've had situations like this with my 9 yr old son. He quit Tae Kwon Do
mostly because he didn't like the behavior of some of the kids in class. He
cannot let things roll off his back. (Also he did not like the way the
uniform felt, but would not wear just his belt because it wasn't "correct."
!!)
We talked about it then and we still discuss it sometimes, but there was
nothing I could do that could make that class worth it for him. I'm hoping
this changes as he gets older, but who knows?
Paula
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/15/2003 8:19:31 AM Central Daylight Time,
csobun@... writes:
way you can have more fun, get to know the game better, AND can keep an eye
on her. She shouldn't be allowed to do anything like that, and knowing
someone is watching her should be enough. The way you let her know you're
watching is to not be afraid of interrupting practice if you see her
bullying, and call her on it. You could say, "Hey, that ball hurts! Please
don't do that!" Make eye contact. She will probably not bully your son in
front of you, and will probably still bully others in her life, but you can't
do anything about that. I wouldn't let somebody like that ruin my son's
experience with soccer.
I'd try to get my son to try one more practice, and to look forward to the
games if we were in this situation. Talk about the hard parts, and what he
can do to overcome them and what you are willing to do to make them right.
I sit right next to the dugout during my 9 yo's baseball games. I'm the
scorekeeper and my dh is the coach, so all the kids know my face. I see a
lot of poor behavior out of the kids in the dugout who aren't immediately
involved in the game. I don't care much that they don't pay attention to the
game, but if I notice hitting or horseplay or if I hear negativity or
teasing, I stop it. I have found that I have to use a different language and
tone of voice for these all-schooled kids than I do for our homeschooled
friends, but I do try to tone it way down and use please/thank you way more
than I hear their parents use it with them!
Believe me, unless that coach is a control freak, he will appreciate your
help on the field.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
csobun@... writes:
> I was thinking I may need to talk to the coach about this girl whoDefinitely talk to the coach. And then offer to help with practices. That
> was giving him a hard time. At least to make him aware of the
> situation. Any other advice or opinions? Should I just let him
> quit? Any ideas would be appreciated.
>
way you can have more fun, get to know the game better, AND can keep an eye
on her. She shouldn't be allowed to do anything like that, and knowing
someone is watching her should be enough. The way you let her know you're
watching is to not be afraid of interrupting practice if you see her
bullying, and call her on it. You could say, "Hey, that ball hurts! Please
don't do that!" Make eye contact. She will probably not bully your son in
front of you, and will probably still bully others in her life, but you can't
do anything about that. I wouldn't let somebody like that ruin my son's
experience with soccer.
I'd try to get my son to try one more practice, and to look forward to the
games if we were in this situation. Talk about the hard parts, and what he
can do to overcome them and what you are willing to do to make them right.
I sit right next to the dugout during my 9 yo's baseball games. I'm the
scorekeeper and my dh is the coach, so all the kids know my face. I see a
lot of poor behavior out of the kids in the dugout who aren't immediately
involved in the game. I don't care much that they don't pay attention to the
game, but if I notice hitting or horseplay or if I hear negativity or
teasing, I stop it. I have found that I have to use a different language and
tone of voice for these all-schooled kids than I do for our homeschooled
friends, but I do try to tone it way down and use please/thank you way more
than I hear their parents use it with them!
Believe me, unless that coach is a control freak, he will appreciate your
help on the field.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Camille Sobun
Paula, Thanks for the response. I think I will discuss this further with my son. I do think after rereading my post, that if the whole point is for the kids to have fun, dragging my son to practice, where he does not want to be, kinda defeats the purpose.
Peace, Camille
Peace, Camille
----- Original Message -----
From: Paula Sjogerman
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 8:25 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] another sports question
Hey Camille -
I've had situations like this with my 9 yr old son. He quit Tae Kwon Do
mostly because he didn't like the behavior of some of the kids in class. He
cannot let things roll off his back. (Also he did not like the way the
uniform felt, but would not wear just his belt because it wasn't "correct."
!!)
We talked about it then and we still discuss it sometimes, but there was
nothing I could do that could make that class worth it for him. I'm hoping
this changes as he gets older, but who knows?
Paula
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Camille Sobun
Tuck, Sorry for the late reply; I have been crazy busy. But, thanks for the words of advice. I did talk to Andy about what situations he might run into at the next practice and what we could do about them. (The "bully" did not show up for practice.) And I did ask him to try one more practice and a game. If he wanted to quit because he did not enjoy soccer, fine; but I did not want him to run from this situation.
We have since had that other practice and a game, and he is enjoying it much more. I have decided to be more involved, and Andy decided to either avoid this girl or ignore her comments if he can. He has a signal he created that he can use to let me know if he feels he needs me to do something.
Again, thank you so much for your advice. It has been very helpful.
Peace, Camille
We have since had that other practice and a game, and he is enjoying it much more. I have decided to be more involved, and Andy decided to either avoid this girl or ignore her comments if he can. He has a signal he created that he can use to let me know if he feels he needs me to do something.
Again, thank you so much for your advice. It has been very helpful.
Peace, Camille
----- Original Message -----
From: Tuckervill@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2003 8:08 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] another sports question
In a message dated 4/15/2003 8:19:31 AM Central Daylight Time,
csobun@... writes:
> I was thinking I may need to talk to the coach about this girl who
> was giving him a hard time. At least to make him aware of the
> situation. Any other advice or opinions? Should I just let him
> quit? Any ideas would be appreciated.
>
Definitely talk to the coach. And then offer to help with practices. That
way you can have more fun, get to know the game better, AND can keep an eye
on her. She shouldn't be allowed to do anything like that, and knowing
someone is watching her should be enough. The way you let her know you're
watching is to not be afraid of interrupting practice if you see her
bullying, and call her on it. You could say, "Hey, that ball hurts! Please
don't do that!" Make eye contact. She will probably not bully your son in
front of you, and will probably still bully others in her life, but you can't
do anything about that. I wouldn't let somebody like that ruin my son's
experience with soccer.
I'd try to get my son to try one more practice, and to look forward to the
games if we were in this situation. Talk about the hard parts, and what he
can do to overcome them and what you are willing to do to make them right.
I sit right next to the dugout during my 9 yo's baseball games. I'm the
scorekeeper and my dh is the coach, so all the kids know my face. I see a
lot of poor behavior out of the kids in the dugout who aren't immediately
involved in the game. I don't care much that they don't pay attention to the
game, but if I notice hitting or horseplay or if I hear negativity or
teasing, I stop it. I have found that I have to use a different language and
tone of voice for these all-schooled kids than I do for our homeschooled
friends, but I do try to tone it way down and use please/thank you way more
than I hear their parents use it with them!
Believe me, unless that coach is a control freak, he will appreciate your
help on the field.
Tuck
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]