Alan & Brenda Leonard

> I had never given much thought to ordering. Sometimes we each order for
> ourselves. Sometimes once person orders for everyone, because we all talked
> about what we want (I'll have 4 chocolate milkshakes, please)....I had never
> noticed that anyone gave me funny looks when my kids ordered....I'll have to
> pay more attention....

Here's question that's come up around here this weekend. I've just come
back from being on three days holiday with just my son, and it came to my
attention that Tim doesn't generally talk to anyone these days, even if
they've actually directed the question to him. He'll choose food before the
waitperson comes and never look at them. I order.

I'm ok with that; it's not like he can't talk; at home he hardly stops! But
at least one person commented on it, and I mentioned it to my husband, too,
and though we'd never really given it any thought, he thought it's probaby
true that Tim talks to very few people.

So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. And has anyone else had
the experience that their child used to talk quite a lot and now doesn't?

brenda

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/13/03 10:37:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
abtleo@... writes:

> So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
> responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
> polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. And has anyone else
> had
> the experience that their child used to talk quite a lot and now doesn't?
>
>

Haven't had that particular experience but my oldest has always been quite a
talker, and has always pretty much ordered for himself and asked for refills
etc. My youngest has only started doing this recently. He was a little shy
at first. But I never pushed either of them. Never made them talk to people
they didn't talk to on their own etc. I think every child is different.
Pam G.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Sunday, April 13, 2003, at 07:43 AM, Alan & Brenda Leonard wrote:

> So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
> responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
> polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. And has anyone
> else had
> the experience that their child used to talk quite a lot and now
> doesn't?

Roxana talked to anybody and everybody when she was little. She stopped
talking to strangers at about 7 - although she'd warm up fairly quickly
with new people we actually knew - just not random unknown people like
waiters, etc. She only started ordering for herself in restaurants a
year ago -at 14 - before that she was self-conscious and afraid they
wouldn't understand her or something and always got somebody else to
order for her. Rox is fine - perfectly able to make small talk with
strangers now. Goes to restaurants on her own with her friends and
handles it fine. My other kids always talked to strangers comfortably -
sometimes TOO comfortably <g> - and always order for themselves.

-pam

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/13/2003 10:37:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
abtleo@... writes:


> So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
> responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
> polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. And has anyone else
> had
> the experience that their child used to talk quite a lot and now doesn't?
>
> brenda

Cameron has always been very quiet---not ordering, like you said. But he's
recently started "coming out" and talking to "strangers'.

Duncan, on the other hand, is a regular walkie-talkie.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/13/03 8:37:01 AM, abtleo@... writes:

<< So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. >>

Ten or twelve, I think. Marty at 14 is still shy sometimes to do the talking
when we go in somewhere. We went to a police substation last week to turn in
his application for the Junior Police Academy. Walking in, I asked if he
wanted to do the talking or should I. He asked me to. I reminded him that
if he did meet the person in charge of that, it was "Lieutenant Sandoval."
He nodded. She wasn't there anyway. I did the talking.

I figure it's the same as La Leche League said about holding kids' hands and
letting them sit in your lap. They'll only need it as long as they need it,
and then they'll walk away willingly on their own.

It has to be another phase of that. If I press them to do it before they're
really comfortable, it will likely cause more problem than solution.

Sandra

Kelly Dollinger

>>From: Alan & Brenda Leonard [mailto:abtleo@...]
>>Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2003 7:43 AM


>>So, when did your kids start regularly ordering meals for themselves,
>>responding to waitpeople, cashiers, or people at social gatherings who
>>polietely say something to them? I'm just curious. And has anyone
else
>>had
>>the experience that their child used to talk quite a lot and now
doesn't?
>>
>>Brenda

My dd (now 10) was an early talker and spoke in complete sentences very
young. She never had a problem speaking with adults as she was
surrounded
by them every day! She has also placed her own order to wait people for
maybe 6? years. Although sometimes I have gotten her order and told the
waitperson myself. I believe this started when ds came along. He did not
talk until almost 3 years old and so I would order for everyone
sometimes and sometimes dd would do it herself. Recently I have noticed
that she doesn't talk as much, either. I have attributed it to changing
interests, more talking with friends recently and the fact that now ds
(4) is a real chatter box who will speak at length with anyone he
fancies. (If they stick around that long!) She sometimes just seems a
little embarrassed with adults she doesn't know lately, but if they take
the time and really act like
they care you know (not just fries or fruit with that) then she will
engage with them.

Kelly D.