Homeschooling in a divorce situation
Cheryl Flohe
This is in response to the note about the laws being
different in some states where it actually can and
does happen that a judge can make the kids go to
school. That absolutely horrifies me that this can
and does happen. Doesn't anyone understand how
horrible that can be for children to go from being
homeschooled and ESPECIALLY unschooled to being thrown
in school and have their Mom (or whoever that main
care-giver is who is with them 24/7) be forced to get
a job outside the home just so the Dad doesn't have to
pay so much child support? My husband told me a few
times when things were so bad and we talked about
divorce or when the subject would come up about other
families that he thinks child support is completely
unfair and feels strongly that in that situation the
children should be put back in school and the mother
go back to work. This from a man who went with me to
get certified to homeschool and LOVED it, who wants to
go again, who tells people who ask when we will put
our kids in school "Never!".... until he might be
forced to pay child support. Unbelievable....
Right now my husband stays in Seattle while he works
at Boeing and comes home on weekends and that works ok
for us right now and hopefully we're over our bad
times and things will work fine even if he gets a job
over here and lives with us full time. I have been
selling things on ebay and make a little bit of extra
money but have been looking into other ways to make
money from home so I can be somewhat self supporting
or hopefully totally self supporting if the day ever
comes that I need to be. I will NEVER put my children
back in school unless that's what they and I decide we
want, which will never be. This coming from a woman
who raised 2 older children who went all the way
through school and I never gave a thought to
homeschooling. I sure love it now though with my 2
boys here.
Cheryl
different in some states where it actually can and
does happen that a judge can make the kids go to
school. That absolutely horrifies me that this can
and does happen. Doesn't anyone understand how
horrible that can be for children to go from being
homeschooled and ESPECIALLY unschooled to being thrown
in school and have their Mom (or whoever that main
care-giver is who is with them 24/7) be forced to get
a job outside the home just so the Dad doesn't have to
pay so much child support? My husband told me a few
times when things were so bad and we talked about
divorce or when the subject would come up about other
families that he thinks child support is completely
unfair and feels strongly that in that situation the
children should be put back in school and the mother
go back to work. This from a man who went with me to
get certified to homeschool and LOVED it, who wants to
go again, who tells people who ask when we will put
our kids in school "Never!".... until he might be
forced to pay child support. Unbelievable....
Right now my husband stays in Seattle while he works
at Boeing and comes home on weekends and that works ok
for us right now and hopefully we're over our bad
times and things will work fine even if he gets a job
over here and lives with us full time. I have been
selling things on ebay and make a little bit of extra
money but have been looking into other ways to make
money from home so I can be somewhat self supporting
or hopefully totally self supporting if the day ever
comes that I need to be. I will NEVER put my children
back in school unless that's what they and I decide we
want, which will never be. This coming from a woman
who raised 2 older children who went all the way
through school and I never gave a thought to
homeschooling. I sure love it now though with my 2
boys here.
Cheryl
[email protected]
**This is in response to the note about the laws being
different in some states where it actually can and
does happen that a judge can make the kids go to
school. That absolutely horrifies me that this can
and does happen. Doesn't anyone understand how
horrible that can be for children to go from being
homeschooled and ESPECIALLY unschooled to being thrown
in school and have their Mom (or whoever that main
care-giver is who is with them 24/7) be forced to get
a job outside the home just so the Dad doesn't have to
pay so much child support?**
Well, you know, usually the dads, or at least their lawyers, are smart enough
not to phrase it as being about child support, really. They ask that the kids
be sent to school because they're concerned about them, because they're not
getting an education, because they're socially maladroit, etc. etc. etc. And
courts buy into it. There are not enough of us that most judges know enough
homeschooled kids to feel deep down that they know those dads might be wrong.
Judges try to rule on what's best for the children, and to most of America,
it's unquestionable that it's best for children to go to school.
And I don't believe there's a state in the nation where that couldn't happen.
Deborah in IL
different in some states where it actually can and
does happen that a judge can make the kids go to
school. That absolutely horrifies me that this can
and does happen. Doesn't anyone understand how
horrible that can be for children to go from being
homeschooled and ESPECIALLY unschooled to being thrown
in school and have their Mom (or whoever that main
care-giver is who is with them 24/7) be forced to get
a job outside the home just so the Dad doesn't have to
pay so much child support?**
Well, you know, usually the dads, or at least their lawyers, are smart enough
not to phrase it as being about child support, really. They ask that the kids
be sent to school because they're concerned about them, because they're not
getting an education, because they're socially maladroit, etc. etc. etc. And
courts buy into it. There are not enough of us that most judges know enough
homeschooled kids to feel deep down that they know those dads might be wrong.
Judges try to rule on what's best for the children, and to most of America,
it's unquestionable that it's best for children to go to school.
And I don't believe there's a state in the nation where that couldn't happen.
Deborah in IL
Cheryl Flohe
Sorry, I couldn't seem to get a copy and paste of the
note I was trying to, but this was from the woman in
Florida who wondered what putting the kids back in
school had to do with child support. The answer is
that if the kids are in school then the mother is free
to go back to work in the courts eyes and the more
money she makes the less she needs to get from her ex.
I don't know about other states but here in
Washington the way I understand it is that child
support gets adjusted when one spouse gets a raise,
the kids aren't in daycare anymore, etc.
When I told my husband that I had found out that the
courts would make him pay alimony for a certain number
of years based on how many years we've been married
(almost 14 now) on top of child support and that this
particular lawyer told me that the courts would not
force me to put the children in school my husband
backed off. Since the kids and I have been living 150
miles away from my husband except on weekends things
have been obviously better between my husband and I
although I've found it's very difficult to carry on an
argument by email (email is our main source of
communication during the week) so arguments are rare
and we actually enjoy emailing each other. The hard
thing is that my life is like that of a single parent
during the week, with a 9 month old
behavior-challenged boxer puppy and my 2 children 24/7
with no breaks, but most of the time I enjoy it.
I've definitely tried harder to make our marriage work
"for the kids sake" but it takes two to make it work
and I'm working on becoming self-sufficient "just in
case". One thing I learned from that lawyer is that
divorce is very expensive for both the husband and
wife and it sure is better to try to work things out
than go through that. Hopefully things won't come to
that with my husband now.
Cheryl
note I was trying to, but this was from the woman in
Florida who wondered what putting the kids back in
school had to do with child support. The answer is
that if the kids are in school then the mother is free
to go back to work in the courts eyes and the more
money she makes the less she needs to get from her ex.
I don't know about other states but here in
Washington the way I understand it is that child
support gets adjusted when one spouse gets a raise,
the kids aren't in daycare anymore, etc.
When I told my husband that I had found out that the
courts would make him pay alimony for a certain number
of years based on how many years we've been married
(almost 14 now) on top of child support and that this
particular lawyer told me that the courts would not
force me to put the children in school my husband
backed off. Since the kids and I have been living 150
miles away from my husband except on weekends things
have been obviously better between my husband and I
although I've found it's very difficult to carry on an
argument by email (email is our main source of
communication during the week) so arguments are rare
and we actually enjoy emailing each other. The hard
thing is that my life is like that of a single parent
during the week, with a 9 month old
behavior-challenged boxer puppy and my 2 children 24/7
with no breaks, but most of the time I enjoy it.
I've definitely tried harder to make our marriage work
"for the kids sake" but it takes two to make it work
and I'm working on becoming self-sufficient "just in
case". One thing I learned from that lawyer is that
divorce is very expensive for both the husband and
wife and it sure is better to try to work things out
than go through that. Hopefully things won't come to
that with my husband now.
Cheryl