[email protected]

I'm learning to let Mike work things out by himself. Having had a tough week
of him only wanting to play on the pc or watch tv (ok so it was 'educational
~ lord of the rings, warhammer, age of mythology & discovery animal planet.)
he's discovered the *other* reason why I sometimes suggest he needs a break.
As well as my needing to play, ahm work I mean! lol
He's spent the last 2 days with a migrane following an especially long stint
at the monitor without a break. Just wish he could have learnt without. :-(
How long it means he moderates his pc use remains to be seen.
Lynda


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zenrubyangel <[email protected]>

My dd spends all of her time online, or playing video games. I used
to stress out so hard about it, until I really started looking at
what is involved in her play. Now my only complaint is that she
slumps badly in her chair at the computer, and that I never have the
time to get online, unless she's asleep! My dd hates this
arrangement...this "let her do whatever she wants" thing. But he is
staying silent for the most part. Every once in a while he'll throw
out "so, have you done anything for 'school' lately?" He still
doesn't get unschooling. But at least he is leaving us alone about
it. I think, in time, he will begin to see that all is not lost
because she isn't in school. It's very hard to break free of that
schoolish mindset, especially when he is working so much and all he
sees is that she soesn't have to do anything that she doesn't want to
do. He calls that spoiled. I call that lucky! -




-- In [email protected], atwttmab@a... wrote:
> I'm learning to let Mike work things out by himself. Having had a
tough week
> of him only wanting to play on the pc or watch tv (ok so it
was 'educational
> ~ lord of the rings, warhammer, age of mythology & discovery
animal planet.)
> he's discovered the *other* reason why I sometimes suggest he needs
a break.
> As well as my needing to play, ahm work I mean! lol
> He's spent the last 2 days with a migrane following an especially
long stint
> at the monitor without a break. Just wish he could have learnt
without. :-(
> How long it means he moderates his pc use remains to be seen.
> Lynda
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/3/03 8:07:14 AM, angiehewerdine@... writes:

<< Every once in a while he'll throw
out "so, have you done anything for 'school' lately?" He still
doesn't get unschooling. >>

Maybe you can just ask him to change his question to "What have you learned
lately?"
and then soon to "What's new?"

<<all he
sees is that she soesn't have to do anything that she doesn't want to
do. He calls that spoiled. I call that lucky! >>

Me too.

If and when he'll read, maybe print and leave this in the bathroom:

http://sandradodd.com/spoiled


Sandra

Betsy

**It's very hard to break free of that
schoolish mindset, especially when he is working so much and all he
sees is that she soesn't have to do anything that she doesn't want to
do. He calls that spoiled. I call that lucky! -**

I agree.

One thing that can help with your husband's attitude is to "spoil" him
as much as you can in the few hours that he is home. Especially when
children are older and less demanding.

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/3/03 9:06:49 AM Central Standard Time,
angiehewerdine@... writes:

> this "let her do whatever she wants" thing. But he is
> staying silent for the most part. Every once in a while he'll throw
> out "so, have you done anything for 'school' lately?" He still
> doesn't get unschooling. But at least he is leaving us alone about
> it. I think, in time, he will begin to see that all is not lost
> because she isn't in school. It's very hard to break free of that
> schoolish mindset, especially when he is working so much and all he
> sees is that she soesn't have to do anything that she doesn't want to
> do. He calls that spoiled. I call that lucky!

Until recently my dh, Darin, wasn't particularly for or against Unschooling.
He was very much okay with homeschooling, he just couldn't quite grasp the
concept of Unschooling. He was constantly asking the same things your dh is
asking. He couldn't understand that they learn and thrive so much more when
the operative word in their lives is choice.

This went on until his mother, who is very much against hsing, (constantly
asking me and the kids how our "Little school is doing?") took the kids out
for a "Grandma day" and ended up having them tested a few months ago. He
wasn't as upset about it as I was, he even said that he would like to know
how the kids were doing and couldn't see why I was so upset and frustrated
about it. He thought it would be a good measure of how Unschooling works. (or
his words, IF it works) Until I had enough and reminded him that the kids
weren't hers to decide things like this for. How this was coming from a woman
who hauled him all over two states, five husbands, and 16 different schools
while he was growing up. All because she lost a job or couldn't pay the rent,
or found a new boyfriend or husband or the electricity was cut off, or the
neighbors weren't right or what ever bee happened to fly up her....

I have been seeing a gradual change since then. He started telling me things
like how he learned so much from a certain teacher who had more progressive
ideas, who took the kids out camping just so they could see what stars look
like away from the city and canceled math for a month and taught them how to
cook instead. And when they went back to the book, they found they knew all
about fractions...
He still has some rethinking to work on. But then so do I! <g>

I still hear some offhand comments every now and then. Like last night the
kids were playing hangman on the chalk board, in the kitchen and Moly had a
word that started with an Sq and ended in t and Jack couldn't get it. He kept
throwing out letters and Moly kept adding to the little man. Darin and I were
watching a movie and half listening to the kids when Jack called out for help
and Darin said "its probably spelling ALA Moly." So Moly brought the board in
and I looked at the word and all the wrong guesses and asked her if the word
was Squirt. And she did have it spelled right, Jack just didn't know the rule
of u after q and now he does. So Jack learned that and Darin learned Moly can
spell. I would say he learned tact, but that remains to be seen. <eg>

~Nancy


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