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In a message dated 11/23/02 10:28:32 PM, heidi@... writes:

<< After all, what's it matter if a complete
stranger knows or doesn't know your kids gender... or even your own
gender!?! Think of it as social camouflage or perceptually helping the
transgendered and intersex (hermaphrodite) community.) >>

In the early 1970's, my dad complained to me while driving about some
long-haired person wearing jeans, walking the same direction we were driving,
"I can't even tell if it's a boy or a girl."

I said "What does it matter? Will you drive any different if it's a girl?"

It was also women's movement days and it was nice to point out to my dad that
it was possible to just treat each person as a person.

Kirby had waist-length hair most of his childhood, and when he was nine or so
had me cut it off, because he was tired of people telling him he was in the
wrong bathroom. (I didn't note the haircut in his diary, but I do have the
hair, and a date on it.) He said when he had facial hair he would grow it
long again.

Well it was long again before facial hair, but he didn't look like a girl
anymore.

Just this September he came back from Nan Desu Kan (an anime convention in
Denver) and said he wanted his hair cut off. I wouldn't have agreed, but it
was the third time he had mentioned it, over the course of a few months. I
asked him several questions, including whether he was doing it to spite some
friends he was grumpy with. He gave the right answers, I cut it off (one
rough cut, to be touched up after a shower) and he said wait a day or two to
mess with it more, because he might want to just let it grow back out.

Every friend he saw seemed dismayed. Some got used to it and said it looked
nice. It's too long in the front, but because he's planning to let it grow,
he just wants it left. I assured him it wouldn't hurt for him to just cut
off himself anything that seems to sproing out too far. He only wants me to
cut it.

It looks nice on him. I miss the long hair too, but I'm aware that I miss it
as a kind of hippie status symbol for me, so I call it what it really is and
breathe that out.

One little homeschooled kid we know named Pete Martinez had GORGEOUS long
curly baby hair until he was four or so, and when he got a haircut I was sad
just because I liked looking at him. But I was never the one who had to wash
or brush it, so I didn't say a word.

Sandra

Tia Leschke

> It looks nice on him. I miss the long hair too, but I'm aware that I miss
it
> as a kind of hippie status symbol for me, so I call it what it really is
and
> breathe that out.
>
I was kind of sad when Lars started wanting shorter hair. I've always
preferred long hair on both sexes. But I never said anything to him about
it. He kept wanting to go shorter and shorter, and I still never said
anything. (I was just hoping he wouldn't go as short as a brush cut. He
never did.) When he stopped asking for haircuts and started growing it a
year or so ago, I was very happy. But I still didn't say anything about it
to him.

> One little homeschooled kid we know named Pete Martinez had GORGEOUS long
> curly baby hair until he was four or so, and when he got a haircut I was
sad
> just because I liked looking at him. But I was never the one who had to
wash
> or brush it, so I didn't say a word.

My 2 year old grandson has absolutely beautiful long, wavy, blonde hair.
Heather says she's not going to cut it unless he asks her to. When they
were at a beach last summer, this girl who was maybe 9 or 10 kept calling
him a girl . . . even though he was start naked! In her mind, only girls
have long hair, so he must be a girl.
Tia

Deborah Lewis

A little neighbor girl used to call Dylan a girl all the time and one day
after telling her he was a boy she said,
"Why is she a boy?" <g>

At Karate class one girl, who had been insisting he was a girl finally
came to me to get the strait poop. She asked "Is your daughter a girl or
a boy?" = )

Some folks have a hard time with long haired boys. <g>

The rudest comment came from a stranger in the grocery store who told my
son he needed to get his hair cut and start looking like a "real" boy.
I think he was eight or nine at the time.

Deb L


On Sun, 24 Nov 2002 10:52:09 -0800 Tia Leschke <leschke@...> writes:
> My 2 year old grandson has absolutely beautiful long, wavy, blonde
> hair.
> Heather says she's not going to cut it unless he asks her to. When
> they
> were at a beach last summer, this girl who was maybe 9 or 10 kept
> calling
> him a girl . . . even though he was start naked! In her mind, only
> girls
> have long hair, so he must be a girl.
> Tia

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On Sun, 24 Nov 2002 12:17:33 -0700 Deborah Lewis <ddzimlew@...>
writes:
> At Karate class one girl, who had been insisting he was a girl
> finally
> came to me to get the strait poop. She asked "Is your daughter a
> girl or a boy?" = )

Bwah! Rain looked like a boy for a while about 9 months ago - she had a
"mushroom" style haircut and was in a chunky stage, and wore loose
t-shirts and ragged, too-big jeans. I think it was partly intentional for
her - she really wanted to know what it would be like for people to think
she was a boy. And yeah, there were some people who didn't believe she
was a girl until I backed her up...

As soon as she got bangs cut, though, everyone knew she was a girl again.

Dar