[email protected]

I am not a particularly spiritual person and neither is my husband.
It was never our intention to keep religion or spirituality from our son
and most of our family members and friends are practicing members of
some religious organization. We have always tried to answer his
questions in a non biased way, ( I hope we succeeded ) and if he had
specific questions we tried to find answers.
I recently found some books on different faiths and they have been
helpful.

Well, here it is. My son is becoming a spiritual person. He recently
lost both his grandfathers. He was close to both of them and close to
their deaths as well as they were in our care at home during their final
illnesses. This may have a good deal to do with his pondering's lately,
I know.

He's not troubled, only curious. I know faith is a very personal thing.
I know my opinions have an influence on him. I'm just trying to be a
source of help and security to him while he finds answers that make sense
to him, without unduly influencing him to my way of thinking. This must
sound extremely naive but not being religious, it really never occurred
to me he'd have more than passing questions.

Any thoughts?
Deb L

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In a message dated 11/24/2001 6:00:57 PM Eastern Standard Time, ddzimlew@... writes:


This must
sound extremely naive but not being religious, it really never occurred
to me he'd have more than passing questions.

Any thoughts?


I think its just great Deb. . . and maybe he might be your "teacher" in this. . . follow his lead. . . there are lots of spiritual books that are not religious in tone or nature as well. . . I would be happy to write up a list for you and send it to you. Lelia who is 12, also is very spiritual and refers to lots of books on our shelves for information and spiritual stuff.

lovemary

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The older I get, the less interested in spirituality I've become. Not sure
why that is. Maybe it's a reaction to the prevailing "spirituality" where I
live (the same city with Bob Jones University). In the last few years I've
felt the most tremendous relief and pleasure in *not* looking for
spirituality or religion or God. And my youngest child has been around for
all of these changes in me. So far he seems okay with life as it is without
looking for something more. If I were to notice his becoming a spiritual
person like your son is Deb, I would be really unsure how to handle it. I'm
so skeptical at this point, I'm afraid that would come through in any
discussion. Using books like you have already and like lovemary suggested
seems a very good way to go.

Priss
whose best friend confounds this skepticism with some very odd experiences
with spirits <g>

[email protected]

>I'm so skeptical at this point,
>I'm afraid that would come through in
> any
> discussion.

Exactly. This is what I would like to avoid. I feel he deserves to
make up his own mind.
My son and I are vegan and his father is primarily a vegetarian. Dylan
didn't even know people ate animals until he was four years old. We were
visiting cousins who made a big deal out of it and then of course the
questions came. Since that time he has remained vegan even though we
have made it clear to him he can choose differently. He really loves
animals and can't imagine eating one.

I'm trying to approach the questions about religion in the same way.
Maybe, when he gets all the information he wants for now things will
settle into a kind of digestion stage.

Thanks to you, Priss and lovemary, for your thoughts.
Deb L

[email protected]

--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., ddzimlew@j... wrote:
> I am not a particularly spiritual person and neither is my
husband.
> It was never our intention to keep religion or spirituality from
our son
> and most of our family members and friends are practicing members
of
> some religious organization. We have always tried to answer his
> questions in a non biased way, ( I hope we succeeded ) and if he
had
> specific questions we tried to find answers.
> I recently found some books on different faiths and they have been
> helpful.
>
> Well, here it is. My son is becoming a spiritual person. He
recently
> lost both his grandfathers. He was close to both of them and close
to
> their deaths as well as they were in our care at home during their
final
> illnesses. This may have a good deal to do with his pondering's
lately,
> I know.
>
> He's not troubled, only curious. I know faith is a very personal
thing.
> I know my opinions have an influence on him. I'm just trying to
be a
> source of help and security to him while he finds answers that make
sense
> to him, without unduly influencing him to my way of thinking. This
must
> sound extremely naive but not being religious, it really never
occurred
> to me he'd have more than passing questions.
>
> Any thoughts?
> Deb L

This is SOO cool! I am a Director of Religious Education at a
Unitarian Universalist church, and I'm currently writing a book about
spiritual education, kind of from an unschooling perspective.

Generally, I would do a few things. First, when he asks questions,
ask him what he thinks (not in a way that suggests you're testing
him, but let him know you're curious.) Tell him that a lot of this is
new to you, and you may not have thought about it, but that you'd
like to explore together. If you DO have a thought about it,
certainly share it.

There are lots of wonderful books to strew about, about different
beliefs, people's ideas about answers to those Big Questions, etc. I
would suggest lots of walks in nature. Maybe quiet times.

I think unschooling really allows both children and adults a real
opportunity to connect spiritually, and you're not likely to pass
down a lot of dogma about what your son HAS to believe. That will
allow him the freedom to find out for himself what he really DOES
believe...and see that it may change over time.

Kathryn Baptista

B. A. Allen

--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., ddzimlew@j... wrote:
> I am not a particularly spiritual person and neither is my
husband.
> It was never our intention to keep religion or spirituality from
our son

. We have always tried to answer his
> questions in a non biased way, ( I hope we succeeded ) and if
he had
> specific questions we tried to find answers.
> I recently found some books on different faiths and they have
been
> helpful.
>
> Well, here it is. My son is becoming a spiritual person. He
recently
> lost both his grandfathers. He was close to both of them and
close to
> their deaths as well as they were in our care at home during
their final
> illnesses. This may have a good deal to do with his
pondering's lately,
> I know.
>
> He's not troubled, only curious. I know faith is a very personal
thing.
> I know my opinions have an influence on him. I'm just trying to
be a
> source of help and security to him while he finds answers that
make sense
> to him, without unduly influencing him to my way of thinking.
This must
> sound extremely naive but not being religious, it really never
occurred
> to me he'd have more than passing questions.
>
> Any thoughts?


Children can be with death much better than adults. I remember
when my son Gabriel (22 years ago) died, the kids in his
Montessori school had wonderful thoughts and questions about
Gabe's dying. The adults didn't like to talk about it and were very
uncomfortable. Answering your son's questions, exploring
together the answers is a very good thing to do.

I don't know how old your son is, but you might consider letting
him attend different church-based youth groups, to see the
similarities/differences. There are lots out there.
Just a thought.
Barda

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/26/2001 12:08:29 PM Pacific Standard Time, ringoalibi@... writes:


I don't know how old your son is, but you might consider letting
him attend different church-based youth groups, to see the
similarities/differences. There are lots out there.


The church my parents belonged to when I was growing up had a youth group that did a lot of visiting of other churches and other religions -- we did things like walk up the street to the Catholic Church and the priest there talked to us about their beliefs and practices. I also remember we visited a Buddhist center and a Jewish synagogue and lots of other places (I live in a place that has a lot of different religions - so it was reasonable to do this even back then in the late 50's/early 60's).  This started me on the path of being fascinated by other religions and I continued studying them right on through high school and college and beyond - always taking every opportunity to go with friends to their own places of worship and talk to people and I even took a number of college courses such as "psychology of religion" and "sociology of religion" in addition to survey courses such as "religions of the middle east" and so on, as well as occasionally taking courses offered by the various religions themselves. After years and years of this kind of investigation, I did finally join a religion (I became a member of the Baha'i Faith about 20 years ago) and, interestingly, the same church (a United Methodist Church) that started my early interest has invited me several times to speak about the Baha'i Faith to their youth groups .

Pam Sorooshian
National Home Education Network  

[email protected]

I'd be interested in a list of spiritual books for children--
especially for very young children (my boys are turning three in two
weeks). Also, do people have other ideas for introducing
spirituality to the very young? I'm really most interested in
exposing my kids to a variety of spiritual approaches.

Thanks!

--Catherine

[email protected]

Thanks to everyone for the thoughts and ideas on this topic. I don't
know why I panicked. <g>

lovemary, I would like to know about some of the books you recommend, if
it isn't too much trouble.

Thanks everyone,
Deb L

Sharon Rudd

> > I am not a particularly spiritual person and
> neither is my
> husband.
> > It was never our intention to keep religion or
> spirituality from
> our son

Have you thought that maybe it is not that you are
"not spiritual", but that you have sort of reached a
place, or level, that is comfortable, and are not
overtly searching for answers to the unanswerable
questions? Perhaps, at this stage in your lives, you
are just busy living NOW. That can be a good thing,
too. In fact it is a necessary part of living and
getting along.

Sharon

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In a message dated 11/27/2001 6:48:57 PM Eastern Standard Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:


> lovemary, I would like to know about some of the books you recommend, if
> it isn't too much trouble.
>
>

Deb,

How old is your son? I forgot (sorry). . .let me know and will get something
going for you. I have a couple of big dinner parties this week, but will get
to it ASAP.

lovemary


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

> How old is your son? I forgot (sorry). . .let me know and will get
> something
> going for you. I have a couple of big dinner parties this week, but
> will get
> to it ASAP.
>
> lovemary

There's no rush... He's nine, does that matter?<g> He reads everything.
Right now he's reading "A Walk in the Light, and Other Stories."
Thank you so much.
Deb L

Fetteroll

on 11/27/01 2:24 PM, cleblanc@... at cleblanc@...
wrote:

> I'd be interested in a list of spiritual books for children--
> especially for very young children (my boys are turning three in two
> weeks). Also, do people have other ideas for introducing
> spirituality to the very young? I'm really most interested in
> exposing my kids to a variety of spiritual approaches.

What do you mean by spiritual? Do you mean how we treat each other? The
purpose of life? What lies beyond? How other cultures view our purpose and
the beyond? Specifics about other religions?

I think Chinaberry (http://www.chinaberry.com) does spirituality without the
religion extremely well. They have an awesome selection of books.

As for beliefs, I'd begin with picture books of myths from all times and
places.

But I think actions say a lot more. For instance, when you encounter
something that you might be inclined to be disapproving of (cuisine that
includes insects, the full muslim dress for women, tatoos or whatever) you
might describe it as interesting or different, and say you wouldn't choose
it for yourself but that it's interesting and perhaps talk about why others
do.

You could set up a little shrine of precious things: rocks, leaves, army men
;-) Make it ever changing. They could each have their own or you could do
one together depending on their personal styles. Then you can (perhaps with
lighting a candle) each mention something you're thankful for each day.

Joyce


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/30/01 5:00:08 AM Mountain Standard Time,
fetteroll@... writes:


> You could set up a little shrine of precious things: rocks, leaves, army men
>

One of the sweetest things in my life was when Kirby was five or so and a big
Ninja Turtles fan. It was Christmas, and I had our most-of an Italian creche
scene set up, and the figures being about Ninja Turtle size, they'd be
borrowed to go on adventures. The shepherd carrying a lamb on his shoulders
was a favorite. But in the place of the missing shepherds or wise men would
be a Ninja Turtle adoring Jesus. And it changed.

It wasn't spirituality, it was action figures.

We've found more spirituality in the course of things than from any one
specific book. When kids ask why someone did what they did, why this, why
that (in Rumplestiltskin, or Sleeping Beauty, or in a movie or in real life)
we had chances to discuss how people decide what to be like.

Someone in a homeschooling discussion years ago asked how, if we weren't
Christian, could I possibly teach my children about morality. It was a
fascinating question. I remember being Christian and having the feeling that
I was good because I was following the example of Jesus. Others, without
that example, must obviously and easily choose the bad over the good, because
it must obviously be so much easier and more desireable, and that without
Jesus I would be a murdering, lying, adulteratous, covetous,
worshipping-other-gods shoplifter. Why not!?

Turns out it was the Christians who were having a hard time teaching
morality. They simplified it, as it had been for me, to the point that there
was NO reason to be good whatsoever except for the fear of punishment (from
God or God's representatives, the parents, directly on behalf of God). So
sure enough, some of those kids longed to leave home and get drunk and break
stuff and say bad words and be rude.

We've bought some books from Chinaberry about God and spiritual matters, and
we have the Dorling Kindersley and Usborne books on comparative religion
(which I love to read from to the kids or to myself, and which we use for
reference when someone's religious holidays or cultural restrictions comes
up).

The concepts of respect, compassion and gratitude, though, are dealt with in
English, without juju, without threat of deitary disapproval. It's "the
Golden Rule" in 45 words or more--not a platitude, but a reminder of their
care of themselves and their friends and family with a sweet attitude. The
idea that if they somehow make a situation worse, they've screwed up and need
to take out their handy, ready tools to make it better.

Oh! A good place to start with little children and spirituality would be the
collection of "Do unto others" from various religious writings which has been
collected up for several years. I'll look for it. It's a wonderful intro to
comparative religion without needing any knowledge of history or geography.

Sandra


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Thanks, Joyce--I like the shrine idea (although at their age, I can
imagine my boys perhaps having more fun knocking all the treasures on
the ground than contemplating their beauty or meaning! :-D ). I
also like the idea of talking about things you're thankful for each
day (good advice for adults, too).

I guess I'm most interested in picture books of multicultural myths--
do you or does anyone else have suggestions? I'm surprised at how
hard it is to find books like this (that aren't solely Christian-
oriented). Also, I just placed an order for some Chinaberry books--
you're right, it's a wonderful catalog.

I think spirituality for me has to do mostly with a sense of
connectedness with all beings and things (can you tell I'm still
working on this for myself?!). I just would like to give my guys the
idea that there's something else besides the material world (which
they probably would realize by themselves even if I did nothing). Or
else give them a springboard for conversation/contemplation...This is
tough when you're not part of an organized religion.

Anyway, thanks for your help and suggestions!

--Catherine

meghan anderson

<<<<<I guess I'm most interested in picture books of
multicultural myths--
do you or does anyone else have suggestions? I'm
surprised at how
hard it is to find books like this (that aren't solely
Christian-
oriented). Also, I just placed an order for some
Chinaberry books--
you're right, it's a wonderful catalog.

Catherine>>>>>

These are some books that we have loved:
Premalata and the Festival of Lights (about Diwali)
The Mountains of Tibet (about reincarnation)
A World of Faith (general book about various
religions).
I think most or all of these could be found at
Chinaberry.

Warmly Meghan



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