Sandra, You just reminded me that what's really important is relationships. It's what life is all about really. My kids are at home so they can sit for hours watching the ants, having time to think their own thoughts and find out who they are. How much do I miss when I railroad my kids into "learning"? Probably a whole lot! I remember cooking with my Grandma, side by side in the kitchen. Don't think I came away with a thorough knowledge of fractions but I did grow up absolutely certain that my Grandma loved me and boy that sure got me through a lot! Thanks I like this Sandra, I like the truck. My husband leans on his truck and talks to our neighbor Harry. Harry's a chaplain at the Montana State Prison and needs a normal guy to talk with sometimes, about normal guy stuff. They talk about why '64 Chevy's are great fishing trucks and why John Deere makes great tractors and how Harry can mow the lawn in fifteen minutes. Three years ago when we moved into this house I told my friend from Oregon I now had lots of cupboard space and closet space and a place to put everything away. She only comes once a year or so, and she doesn't have kids but she said - you're not clearing all the cool stuff off your table are you? I told her I might even have room enough for two tables. When I was little my mom kept a tin of buttons on our table. She had lots of kids and so I'm sure she needed the buttons handy, but so many times I remember ladies at our table talking with my mom and sorting around in the buttons. I just loved your essay. It swirled up a lot of memories for me. Deb L
Deb,
The button box on
the table sounds just like "it" (whatever "it" is
My granny had a button box, in a fruit-cake tin. The kind with Texas
pictures on it—a star, a cowboy, the Alamo. I still see those tins
sometimes. Even when I was older and went to her house I would ask to play
with those. Partly she didn't have much to do. Partly it was fun to see
which ones I remembered, and to look at them with more experience. At first,
when I was little, I could only tell the big ones from the little ones, and
sort by color or number of holes. And there used to be the BIG coat buttons
from the 1930s and 40's. As I got older, they got older and more "antique."
And as I got older I could tell that some of those buttons were older than my
grandmother. Nothing special in there, just the collection of her life, and
she hardly ever sewed anything but quilts, and she crocheted. Most of the
dresses and aprons she made just tied.
I wish I had thought to put them out and talk about them, in those days, but they were
private with me, and she would have told me to get them off the table,
probably, anyway.
They talked over quilting, she and the older female relatives. My papaw
didn't have a truck. But the men talked walking slowly down to fish, and
while fishing, and while walking slowly back.
But I wanted to ask, Deb, whether you'd be willing to let me use what you
wrote. I've been thinking of having comments pages for some of my SCA
writings, and what you wrote made me think it might be a fun idea for the
homeschooling essays too, so that people could choose to read comments on
those or not.
Sandra
I went hunting for my mom's button box. She still had it, on top of a
high dresser, in the same old tin I remember and we pulled it out, and
with my old auntie there, Dylan and mom and I sat and looked at buttons.
You can't know how many things came up and how many memories stirred out
of my 85 year old auntie and how really wonderful it was to sit with all
those buttons.
People do nice things for me all the time, but when you dredged up that
particular memory you really gave something back I'd forgotten I had.
Thanks Sandra.
Deb L
Tops that have felt-tip-pen tips and they draw the pattern they spin.
(Come to think of that, we need some more of those; ours are dried out.)
Bowl of dice.
Any pretty game that hasn't been out for a while. Chinese checkers, though
games don't lend themselves to talking as well as construction or
pattern-things do, but they'll just play with the marbles and the board, too, making
patterns and finding triangles.
Geoboards, though again that might just lead mostly to talking about the
geoboards themselves. That's not a bad thing!
We do a fair amount of both kinds of side-by-side, but if your purpose is
just to be with your child, and relaxed, and have a chance to talk, go with
something that's non-verbal and takes a long, quiet time.
Sandra note: This is Marji of the group Gaia Wolf Being with a child
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