Sandra Dodd when not otherwise specified
Among other unforeseen benefits of unschooling, I've found as my kids got older that their demeanor and understanding are beyond anything I could've imagined. It's hard to describe, but once in a while a mention is made by the parent of a teen that helps shed light on the big "it" I'm seeing.
Partly it's the relationship between parents and long-unschooled kids, but partly it's just their calm wholeness and their belonging in the real world that makes them so alert and balanced and generous with their attention. There's no guarantee, but I've seen it dozens of times now and there's absolutely something to it.
Thanks in part to this list and others, I really changed the way I interacted with my kids a few years ago. Now they're teens. I, too, am so grateful and we have real relationships; different than I ever imagined, kind, communicative, close, "huggy" . . . people told us all the time when we adopted three babies— just wait til they're teen agers, implying our lives would be hell with three teens. I can't tell you how many people said that, over and over, some still say it. Mostly now, people ask how it is we avoided all the rebellion.Sandra Dodd wrote:
If our home is unsafe and unwelcoming, any guy who wants her to move away with him might seem appealing. If our home is safe and happy, guys will need to compete with us to make her feel loved and secure.Wendy responded:
What an *awesome* statement!! I was raised in the safe and happy house...and my hubby did have to compete. :-) I wasn't out looking for someone to love me because I got total love and acceptance at home. I had to meet someone that was worth leaving home for! And he was/is worth it....but my parents live next door to us. So I didn't go far. LOL My mom is even joining us at [the Live and Learn Conference] this year.
Joanna Murphy wrote:
Thanks to this list and the encouragement to seek out the fun and interesting, my son and I have been searching out comedy. Right now, t.v. is on our daily "curriculum" (our comedy curriculum—LOL!) and we are having a blast! Whereas several other parents I know have been complaining to me about their teenage sons turning away from them and not sharing their lives with them anymore, my son and I spend quality time together everyday—looking forward to what's on the agenda.