Generic "Support"

Broadcasting "support" hits all the bad guys.

Sandra Dodd:
Picture your least favorite politician, and read that again with him in mind.

Picture an as-yet-unidentified serial child molester, and read that again.

Picture (just briefly, don't dwell there) one of the most neglectful or abusive parents you've ever known, and read that with her (it's probably a her) or him in mind.

Now wash your brain out with something happy.

Joyce Kurtak Fetteroll:
I can picture a psychological horror movie based around this.
Sandra Dodd:
The "support" of strangers for strangers is dangerous and harmful.

People near enough to a racist rally might want to print copies of that out and distribute them (maybe with a bottle of water and a smile) to each racist you can find. They just haven't succeeded yet.

Or there's my collection of things moms write to other moms on the internet: /support.html

Try not to do it.
Try not to bask in the glow of a stranger telling you you're awesome, and should never change—especially if there are things you probably ought to change. :-)

Deb Lewis:
Whenever I see "You are special" I think of the One in a Billion t-shirt you saw in India.
Sandra Dodd:
Hema's teen neighbor had it. It had rows of stick-figures and one was a different color and it said "Every Indian is one in a billion."

The Defense
If we were having a formal debate and I were assigned to defend that, I would say that the success and devine beauty and something magical would be the person's complete transformation to someone with remorse and the will to make amends.

There. I made my speech.
I think the defense was unsuccessful.

The art above came by on facebook in 2017, from a site called MagicalRecipesOnline�from their facebook group, but they have a website, too. This is image credit, not a recommendation.



Generic help for moms comes in this form, from one website:




Parts of some of the commentary on that at Radical Unschooling Info on facebook, in 2017.:

Me:
What I want to talk about is WHY people would "be supportive" in such a way that they're saying things that aren't true, or that they cannot know.

The motivation of the writer of the sign-up page for a website is to flatter the reader to "make a sale." Salesmanship.

They don't know who's reading that. Motherhood might look TERRIBLE on her. She might NOT "got this." What would a promise involve, anyway?

If she signs up, though, the mission was accomplished.

Talia Bartoe:
It sounds good. It might feel good to read that. That feeling often keeps someone exactly where they are, instead of looking on how they can do more.
Elisa Josefa Liebelt:
In my opinion it creates a sense of guilt. Questions like why is everyone else amazing at this and it's tough for me? Why does motherhood look beautiful on everyone and on me it looks...frumpy, exhausted, sad, frustrated... This is a sound bite, a commercial, an ad made to create an idealistic picture that doesn't exist and in the end leaves so many moms (and I have been there) feeling less than this ideal and even more confused than when they began searching for helpful ideas.
Lorna Willimott:
If you go through school and your confidence in your capabilities becomes defined by the grades you get from your teachers, then you get a job and the grades get replaced with appraisals and pay rises.

Then you become a mother. Then what?

Do you end up looking for stuff like this for reassurance?

There's more, and you could add to it there if you're a member of that group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/303347574750/permalink/10155220864594751/, if that group is still there.


Support (problems with) Choices Random Support generator (for unschoolers)