two photos above from Ren's blog; click to go there
I'm glad you mentioned the "why not" phrase. I use it in dealing with my children and my life so often, in order to keep myself from responding automatically, without thought. Once I started questioning those "have-to's", "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" it was like a dam bursting open.Sandra note, years later:
"Why not" has helped me loose many constraints learned in childhood.
When my children ask me to light sparklers up at midnight, my auto-pilot mode says "That's not something we do this late at night!" but that lovely little "why not" goes gently swirling through my mind, growing louder as I pause. Why not indeed?
There might be reasons not to light sparklers at midnight, but go through real considerations, when you decide whether to say yes or no to a child's request.
Maybe you live in an apartment without a yard. Maybe you live where there is a curfew, or noise laws after a certain hour. Perhaps you're not registered to homeschool and wouldn't like to deal with police or social services about why your children are awake and partying when others are trying to sleep.
But maybe it's a Saturday night and you live near a parking lot, or a lake, or your own land has places for tiny fireworks that won't bother anyone.
But then there are the nights when sparklers make sense to everyone!