Thoughts on Changing
Getting it
Michelle Thedaker wrote: For the parents who are reading and thinking, "Look. We have these rules because it works and it's logical and I frankly don't see why I should do it another way..." I hear ya. It's *hard* to shift your thinking from the answers that are easier for you to the answers that are harmonious and respectful and fun for everyone. It takes more work and energy for sure.
I still get stuck a lot over some things. But since I let go of tv/computer limits, and food limits, and thinking I had to teach my kids everything, etc. - and seeing how *that* worked out (beautifully!!!), I'm becoming more and more easily able to *trust* that these veteran unschoolers like Sandra and Meredith and Joyce and Pam, etc. know what they are talking about on other topics too. To ask myself, "What is my issue with this? How can I get past it?" and really open myself to a variety of answers. Scary? Yep. Worth it? Beyond yes!
-=-I haven't mentioned it to my kids. They go barefoot, as most kids do, all the time. I figure they'll feel for themselves if they feel a difference, with shoes or without. -=-
This is a factor that's worth considering. If parents are telling kids they MUST wear shoes at all times or they MUST go barefooted when they're outside so that they can be "doing grounding," that's not helping the children learn for themselves what feels good and right, or what their preferences are.
Some people live where it's not safe or good or socially acceptable to go barefooted outside. In India, they want shoes off in the house, but they want shoes ON outside. Some people live around LOTS of stickers or cactus. Some live where it's way too cold most of the year for bare feet.
Jo didn't have a choice about living next to the big power line, but her mom had a choice about whether to terrify her about it or not (and it seems she didn't grow up terrified, so good).
Don't scare your kids. Some moms, I think, want to "be good moms" by finding boogeymen and then saving their children from them. It's a focus on the danger instead of on the child, though I think in the justifications and explanations it can feel like and sound like the mom is doing all that FOR her child. If the effect is that the mom is asking the child to wait, or be quiet, so she can read more about what might be harming him, and then turning around and reporting those dangers, and then limiting his options, because of those dangers, THAT is a problem, for clarity and for unschooling. It's a problem for the relationship.
If my husband wanted to wear an aluminum foil cap to prevent aliens from reading his mind, or to protect his head from EMFs, I would be less willing to go out with him in public. If he started insisting that *I* wear an aluminum foil cap too, that would affect our relationship. If he tried to get our children (when they were young) to wear them, it might have affected the marriage.
It's more often the moms who are looking for the equivalent of aluminum foil caps, when it would be better for the children for her to work on peace, relationships, rationality, gratitude and in seeing the abundance in her life.