I don't eat sugar and I would like my children not to eat sugar, or
at least not until they are older ...
I went on my history-of-language-and-religion tirades. Quotes from other people, and my responses in the same discussion:
I don't watch TV and I would like my children not to watch TV, or at
least not until they are older ...
I don't watch scary movies and I would like my children not to watch
scary movies, or at least not until they are older ...
I don't read books and I would like my children not to read books, or
at least not until they are older ...
The first step is to recognize that they're separate people. And your
unschooling job is to help them be who they are not who you want them
That said, unless your husband swears or they're regularly around
other people they like who swear, it's not likely they will while
But if they do, kids don't naturally want to hurt others so we can
help them by passing on tips on appropriate places to use swears if
they're not catching on. I wouldn't immediately assume that they
don't understand as soon as you hear a swear. My daughter liked to
eat sprawled across the table when she was little, but she never did
it at other people's houses or restaurants. ;-) Most kids can pick up
social clues just by living life :-)
that in the real world people use these words, but I DO get offended
(maybe I shouldn't - I've just always felt it showed a lack of
vocabulary, which I tend to have, ironically...)-=-
Two points about that:
Your house is part of the real world.
Did you "feel" it showed a lack of vocabulary, or have you heard that
and internalized it and repeated it?
-=-For now I've just told the kids that there are some words that
aren't nice to say, and leave it at that. They haven't asked or
Between now and when they ask, you have time to examine your beliefs
and feelings, and as you move more into principles, it will make it
easier to figure out when the time comes (if it does) how to handle
the next phase.
"Cussing" is a term for "cursing," which has to do with the power of
words to condemn people, or the meanness and hubris (sin of thinking
you have power or importance) of telling someone you hope they burn
in hellfire, or even the shortened version of "go to hell" or the
older "damn you" which is short for "May God damn you to hell."
So those are strong words. Those are curses.
"You're a son of a bitch" isn't a curse, it's just an insult. But
somewhere in the past few centuries in the U.S., at least, they were
generalized to "cussing" and condemned along with native Anglo-Saxon
non-medical terms involving anything sexual or scatological.
I think someone who doesn't say much more than "Shit" and "Dude"
might be displaying a lack of vocabulary, but someone who knows six
synonyms for "vagina" and fifteen for "penis" can't possibly be
accused of a small vocabulary.
The trick then is the awareness of appropriate times and places to
use those words, and when it's not courteous.
It has to do with courtesy, discretion, choices, mindfulness--all the
-=-My 6 yr old swears, first of all I do use strong language on
occasion because sometime it's appropriate. -=-
Ah! Swearing. That's another thing "we" don't do because the Bible
says not to. I think the U.S. has a puritanical take on language
that not all English-speaking places have.
The rule against swearing has to do with not getting God involved in
your oaths, or not taking ownership of the universe as though it's
yours to gamble away, as though you own it. Few people think of it
that way, as what principles are behind it. Maybe nobody does but
me, now that I think of it, but when I was little and sitting in
church (First Baptist, EspaĂ±ola, New Mexico, Brother James Cathey,
Minister [most of those years]), I thought WHY would the Bible say
not to swear by any thing?
So cussing and swearing are two different things and neither one
involves the use of "the f word" nor any words for poop.
But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is
Matthew 5:33-35 (in Context)
And he who swears by heaven swears by God's throne and by the one who
sits on it.
Matthew 23:21-23 (in Context)
Above all, my brothers, do not swearnot by heaven or by earth or by
anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will
James 5:11-13 (in Context)
So that's the New Testament. Genesis has all kinds of swearing oaths
before God. So stuff changes, even in the Bible. (Yeah don't say
THAT in a Baptist church.)