Candid Kid-Choices

Nicole Rod:

I would like to add to the myriad of anecdotal evidence here, that last week I watched my daughter eat a bowl of ice cream, and then ask for a bowl of grapes.2016, Radical Unschooling Info

Shan Burton wrote, of her daughter who was nearly seven:

"Mother, how does this sound for a sub? Spinach, wheat germ, and cheese?" On a whole grain hot dog bun. It tastes delicious, she reports. So, someone remind me why it'd be a disaster to let her eat what and when she wants? ;)"

Two sweet stories about sweets
Renee Cabatic, July 2010

First one:

We were at a bar-b-q party and a 5 yr old friend dug into the cooler, pulled out a coke-a-cola and asked his Ma could he have it.

She said, "Heavens no, especially with that chocolate cake on your plate."

She then looked at me asking, "How do you do it?"

I told her, "I don't restrict what my kids eat," and pointed to their plates. XuMei had watermelon, strawberries, green beans and chocolate cake on her plate. Xander had chosen salmon, corn on the cob, watermelon, strawberries and a root beer to drink.

Later I was telling Chris (my spouse) the story and Xander, who I thought was asleep in the back of the van, perked up and said, "The trick is, there is no trick."

Second one:

At a second party the next day a Mom friend was having an upset tummy and she asked XuMei what she might do to feel better. XuMei said whenever her tummy hurts it's one of two things: either she is hungry or she needs to poop. The Mom friend was impressed because she felt the cause of her upset tummy was having over eaten the desserts at the potluck. She commented to me how great it was that XuMei had such a healthy relationship to food. XuMei has no need to over eat.

Renee Cabatic
Ma to Xander and XuMei (9)
(original, on Always Learning)

Leo: "Mom, I want a carrot!"
Thomas: "Mom, I want a carrot!"
Me: sorry boys, we run out of carrots... But we have steamed beetroot.
"Yay!" says Thomas, he loves beetroot. Thrilled about boys loving healthy foods :-) Convinced it is the results of the food freedom we have at our house :-)

Zach (10) fixed a corndog and chocolate milk.
Marsie (7) fixed a tortilla with cheese melted on it.
Dan (5) had two tortillas straight out of the fridge and some marshmallows.
Adriane (13) had an apple with peanut butter and a salad.
Michelle (4) had just woken up. The only thing that interested her at all was spinach leaves that she could dip in salad dressing.

We haven't always been this way with the kids, its been about a year now and I see some amazing changes.

I used to be very anal about meal time, no snacks, no dessert unless you'd cleaned your plates. The whole shabang, yuck.

We are so much more relaxed with each other now, my kids choose a whole range of foods. They still like some candy/treats but they eat alot less than other friends whose parents limit them.

I know that we've now come to a good place with eating and meals. My son, 10, who had the most limiting and coersion, came to me last week and asked if he could fix a dinner for all of us. He wanted to make it a sit down dinner with many courses! I was blown away.

He made up the menu, grocery list, we went grocery shopping, he did alot of the cooking(me helping when he wanted). His sisters also helped with making a big menu to hang on the wall. He presented the following: Spinach salad, Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, honey glazed carrots and for dessert-French silk pie (homemade).

It was very cool. He was very pleased with himself and the family had a really nice evening.

There is such a difference in him towards this kind of thing since we've been more respectful towards each other — which started with our unschooling. Before he would have never wanted to do this kind of thing. Now he is choosing to do this and its making for some really wonderful family time.

On Jan 9, 2004, at 12:32 PM, Mary wrote (as part of a longer exchange):

I guess I too could say it isn't healthy to sit in front of the tv all day eating candy. But when I don't see that happening, it's not an issue. I'm sure it would become one if I started to make rules about food.

Rosie, Roxana, and I are watching "Kiki's Delivery Service" (I'm kind of half watching and half reading email ) and Rosie just ate a bowl of oatmeal and is now eating a little chunk of cheddar cheese and sunflower seeds while drinking a glass of water. Rox isn't eating. I had oatmeal and coffee. There are home-made caramel apples in the kitchen as well as a box of chocolate candy that has been sitting there since before Christmas and I think I'm the only one who has eaten them. There is a also a plate of baklava that was from before Christmas—my husband had one last night. There are chocolate mint cookies someone gave us before Christmas—in a bowl with a few little mini-banana muffins. There is a bag of Jelly Bellies. With all the sweets sitting around —they're going bad before we get around to eating them. Last night we ate popcorn—no sweets except one piece of baklava that my husband ate with his tea.

A few weeks ago Rosie got an urge for potato chips—she wanted a big bag of them almost every day for about two weeks. So I got them—she ate them—now she seems to have had her fill and hasn't asked again for the past few weeks.

—pam

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True Tales of Kids Turning Down Sweets

A Tale of 3 lbs. of Chocolate

Economics of choices
(it says it's about TV, but the examples are about food)