No Bad Days—
—and fewer bad moments
I had only been online a couple of years when someone on AOL wrote
one of the best things ever, and it changed my life the moment I read
it. She said she didn't think of a day as "bad," as she didn't want to
condemn or write off a whole day. She said she would just think "I
had a bad moment."
—Sandra
Su Penn wrote:
A couple of months ago, my four-year-old and I had been wrangling all
day—we just couldn't get into each other's groove. He was fussy, I
was impatient, he was whiny, I was cranky. We were struggling and
struggling. Finally, it was time to cook dinner, which he always
likes to help with. I got out whatever ingredients I needed, and he
pulled his stool over to the kitchen counter, and we started
measuring and stirring and slicing. I was standing half behind him,
and he suddenly leaned his head back against my chest and said,
"We're having a good day, aren't we? I like cooking with you. We're
having fun. We always have fun." It transformed the whole day for me
to hear that he was experiencing it so differently—or that that
moment of cooking together had redeemed the whole rotten thing.
You've talked before, Sandra, about this idea of thinking about
moments instead of days and it has maybe not changed my life but it
has changed a lot of my days. I used to decide by, say, 11 a.m. that
we were having a "rough day." Anybody ever heard of a self-fulfilling
prophecy? Now, no matter how rough the moment gets, I remind myself
that the next moment is a whole new chance at something good. And
it's amazing how often magic comes two minutes after I was thinking I
was going to have to chuck the whole thing and go back to bed.
—Su Penn
Karen James wrote
Look for moments in the day that are good--especially the ordinary moments. Pause and appreciate them when you see them. Let them set the mood for how you move forward. Listen for pleasing sounds. A giggle. A child's breath. Your own heartbeat. Some music. Close your eyes, notice and appreciate those sounds. Find the ones that make you smile. Let your smile soften your mood.
Living in Moments Rather than by Whole Days
Gradual Change
Peaceful Parenting
Unschooling
More Parenting Considerations
