[email protected]

In a message dated 8/18/2004 11:30:48 AM Central Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:

One of the things I sometimes say is along the lines of “Are you sure your
mother will let you eat this? She may not let you come back if you aren’t
STUFF. To be honest I think she is so happy to have a break, that all that
would happen is that she would just give them a longer lecture standing by
my front door in my presence, about all her rules, and the little amount of
leeway they have would be lost. (It is too much to hope for that they would
never come back.)


I let the kids do what they want, but if I know it will be an issue I ask
them what their mother will think. I don't make any promises that I will keep
it a secret--in fact I'm going to display for the mother that I trust her
kids as much as I trust my own.

We don't have any M rated games here, since Jon moved out. But I did check
with a 9 yo kid the other day when he wanted to play a T game. I asked if he
usually plays T rated games at home. He said his mother didn't mind. It's
not up to me to enforce their rules, but it's kind of me to help the kid
remember that there maybe consequences at home for the choices he makes while
he's here.

I'm really going to pass the buck to the kid to make the decision. I mean,
how can I display that I trust the kid if I don't give him an opportunity to
choose based on what he knows?

If their parent asks me to keep them from playing T rated games, I'm likely
to say something to the crowd to indicate the parent's preference. But I'm
not going to enforce it. I'm going to let them choose. I'm not the hall
monitor around here.

The little girl Renee is displaying a deep need to have enough, I think.
She's empty. I know Jayn is probably too young to get this, but I'd explain it
to my son, and he would likely give her everything she wants until she gets
at least partly filled up. I think pretty soon that she would see that
you're not going to withhold anything, she won't want anything else.

In the restaurant I'd say, "It's okay, Jayn will share all the fries she
wants!" If the other parent still objects, on the basis of good food vs. bad, I
think I'd call the waitress over and order my girl a sundae just to make the
point. But that's just me. lol.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]