Vijay Berry Owens

Called this because that was all I had to write on at the moment that
these thoughts occurred to me. <g>

Every night at bath time, I become hyper-conscious of how much Charlotte
is learning (even though I know she is learning all day, at bath time
she is contained and more observable). Tonight she took two playschool
people and tried (successfully) to fit both of them in one hand. I guess
she got my long fingers! She would hold them for a moment then she would
allow first one then the other to drop into the tub and watch them float
around. After a few seconds, she would pick them both up again and pass
the one in her left hand to join the one in her right. Then 1, 2, they
got dropped in again and she watched them float around some more.

It was almost like she was thinking, "Okay, they floated this time when
I dropped them, but will they float next time?" She did this over and
over, maybe 8 or 9 times, as if to say, "They floated the first two
times, but will they float every single time?" Very cool for me to watch
and very thought provoking.

How is it that we understand so clearly when they are this age (14
months) that they are learning just from "hanging out" in the bath tub,
but suddenly at age 6 we have to hand them over to someone else so that
they can continue to learn through lectures, worksheets, texbooks,
homework, tests?

Of course learning is not the reason for putting her in the tub. It's
just a happy side effect. I put her in there because we had gone to the
Louisa agricultural fair and she had muddy knees. The fair was also
educational but again, not the reason why we went. We went to pet goats
and eat funnel cake, among other things. She just happened to learn that
a cow's moo is quite loud when you are standing right next to it. That
bunnies are soft. That music comes from people with instruments, not
just from stereo speakers.

That funnel cake is good, but the lemonade that you were enjoying just a
minute ago has suddenly become too sour. That it's scary to reach out to
pet a goat from the front where the eyes and teeth are, but it's not
scary to pet a goat from the side. That mud is slippery. That pig
doo-doo smells really bad. That when your short legs get tired of
walking all you have to do is say "Uppa" and mama or grandma will
oblige, every time.

It's just like when she gets older and we bake pies and cookies
together. We won't be doing it so that she can learn fractions, it will
just be another happy side effect of "hanging out" and having fun. I
just wish so much that *everyone* could come around and "get it" like we
do.

-Vijay Berry Owens
SAHM to Charlotte, 14 months

pam sorooshian

Vijay - I don't want to embarrass you, but I just HAVE to say that I am
SO thrilled and happy to read your posts and so GLAD to know young moms
like you are out there mothering some VERY lucky little children!!

-pam
On Aug 13, 2004, at 8:47 PM, Vijay Berry Owens wrote:

> It's just like when she gets older and we bake pies and cookies
> together. We won't be doing it so that she can learn fractions, it will
> just be another happy side effect of "hanging out" and having fun. I
> just wish so much that *everyone* could come around and "get it" like
> we
> do.
>
> -Vijay Berry Owens
> SAHM to Charlotte, 14 months
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Danielle Conger

Vijay Berry Owens wrote:
How is it that we understand so clearly when they are this age (14
months) that they are learning just from "hanging out" in the bath tub,
but suddenly at age 6 we have to hand them over to someone else so that
they can continue to learn through lectures, worksheets, texbooks,
homework, tests?
========

It is amazing, isn't it? I think that's the key: to keep that wonder
and awe and amazement in all our children do intact. I think we're lucky
to have begun the unschooling journey so early (mine are now 7, 5 and 4
and we've been officially unschooling for 2 years and unofficially for a
lot longer than that!). I still look at every one of my children with
joy and wonder and awe. I love watching them play together from afar in
the same way that I used to love watching them figure out how to build a
block tower or watch their minds working as they dropped things
experimentally from the highchair or back of the couch. Lots of times I
feel like I'm taking personal snapshots, just reveling in the moment,
watching them be, soaking in the freedom and joy of their play, and I
feel so full, you know? So lucky and privileged and perfect in that
moment of watching them.

But then again, now that I think of it, there are plenty of folks here
in the Northeast who never even seem to have that when the kids are
young. Instead, they're always focused on who's turning over or walking
first, who's on what preschool list, how well their 2 year old does on
her entrance interview to the right school. It's truly sad and sick.

--Danielle

pam sorooshian

You know, Danielle, if a person worked on keeping up this attitude in
themselves as their kids grow up, even into their teen years, they
wouldn't need any other unschooling advice!!! I really mean that - I
think this is THE key to being a great unschooling parent. Can I quote
you in the unschooling talk I'm giving next weekend?

-pam


On Aug 14, 2004, at 6:56 AM, Danielle Conger wrote:

> I still look at every one of my children with
> joy and wonder and awe. I love watching them play together from afar in
> the same way that I used to love watching them figure out how to build
> a
> block tower or watch their minds working as they dropped things
> experimentally from the highchair or back of the couch. Lots of times I
> feel like I'm taking personal snapshots, just reveling in the moment,
> watching them be, soaking in the freedom and joy of their play, and I
> feel so full, you know? So lucky and privileged and perfect in that
> moment of watching them.
>
> But then again, now that I think of it, there are plenty of folks here
> in the Northeast who never even seem to have that when the kids are
> young. Instead, they're always focused on who's turning over or walking
> first, who's on what preschool list, how well their 2 year old does on
> her entrance interview to the right school. It's truly sad and sick.
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Elizabeth Hill

**But then again, now that I think of it, there are plenty of folks here
> in the Northeast who never even seem to have that when the kids are
> young. Instead, they're always focused on who's turning over or walking
> first, who's on what preschool list, how well their 2 year old does on
> her entrance interview to the right school. It's truly sad and sick.**


I think looking directly at your child and seeing his own amazing
progress through life from his first breath to the more complicated
stuff is what makes it moving.

I think that comparing a child to a statistical average or a chart in
the baby book squashes the magic and makes these amazing developments
seem commonplace, because every baby does them.

To see our own children, we have to look directly at them, not at other
kids, or at timetables or at college entrance requirements.

As a brilliant man said "comparisons are odious".

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/14/04 9:38:00 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< I think that comparing a child to a statistical average or a chart in
the baby book squashes the magic and makes these amazing developments
seem commonplace, because every baby does them. >>

It gives the child a pre-verbal start at being gifted, or slow, or average.
Gets his mom prepared for putting him in school where everything he does,
from arrival time to conduct to homework rates him as gifted, slow or average.

Sandra

Danielle Conger

You know, Danielle, if a person worked on keeping up this attitude in
themselves as their kids grow up, even into their teen years, they
wouldn't need any other unschooling advice!!! I really mean that - I
think this is THE key to being a great unschooling parent. Can I quote
you in the unschooling talk I'm giving next weekend?

-pam
============

Wow, I'm flattered you would want to quote me. Of course you may.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html