Michele Sears

Hello,

I wrote a while back about video game use and my 6yo son - I have since relaxed quite a bit, and he plays as long as he wants, for the most part, unless we're going out. I have seen big benefits - such as improved self-esteem (!), more connection with Dad, improved "navigating skills" - he can't read, but somehow gets around all the menus of the video games without any help!

The one thing left for me around the kids choosing what they want all the time is that we're not spending as much time outside together as we used to. I'm pulling out sprinklers, going to the beach, buying bubbles, going to the park, rollerblading, biking, inviting friends over, and feeling like I'm standing on my head to entertain them out-of-doors! Once I relax, or stop "entertaining", they run back inside, and I wish that I could put my feet up outside, and have them play outside in the fresh air near me, without any effort on my part. Has anyone else felt this way in the summertime? I'm shuddering inside as I think of winter coming - it's so much harder for me to get all 3 kids outside, dressed, etc in the cold, cold winter. I'm really appreciating the nice weather!

Also, one other question - how do you know if you're providing enough stimulation? I read Sandra's comment about providing globes, musical opportunities, etc.etc. - and I felt a momentary panic. What if the draw towards the video games is in part because of nothing better to do? How would I know? What other activities have you offered in your homes for active, curious 6 year old boys? I also have a 2 year old boy, who gets into everything as all 2 year olds do, which is sometimes limiting in what we can do together as a family.

Thank-you in advance!

Michele
Ontario






--------------------------------------------------------------------------




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Muzyczka

>What if the draw towards the video games is in part because of nothing
>better to do? How would I know?


Except that you do offer them tons of other things and he heads back. That
sounds like a really good indication that his first choice is the game.

My son got logged off his game after 17 straight hours. -sigh- Wish I
could get 17 hours to devote to something I love with no one interfering
and no one denigrating it.

And what if the draw of the game is that he loves it? Why try to draw him
away from it if he enjoys it? It helps to think of all activities as
having value--not just outside activities. Or not just family activities.

Kelly

pam sorooshian

On Aug 1, 2004, at 9:24 PM, Michele Sears wrote:

> What if the draw towards the video games is in part because of
> nothing better to do?

No offense, but.... (which usually means somebody is about to be
offensive, but in this case it means I'm asking you not to take
offense) -- if something is drawing kids to it, it IS because there is
nothing better to do.

That's just a fact. IF they saw something else as "better to do,"
they'd do that instead.

If you have to work really hard and provide really cool things to do in
order to excite them about other things, it means they're REALLY
enjoying the video games. That's good - they are doing things they
really like.

Maybe you shouldn't work quite so hard and instead let them choose to
play video games more - since they obviously are really enjoying it!

I was tempted to say to put the video games outdoors, if the kids being
outdoors is really important to you. Then I remembered how my husband
turned our tv to face out the back window once, when it was really hot
inside and he wanted to sit on the patio and watch tv. Nothing wrong
with that, imo.


When I think back
On all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder
I can think at all
~~~Paul Simon (Kodachrome)

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/3/04 9:42:20 PM, brewstersears@... writes:

<< I read Sandra's comment about providing globes, musical opportunities,
etc.etc. - and I felt a momentary panic. What if the draw towards the video
games is in part because of nothing better to do? >>

Globes were an example of things I've heard parents say they didn't need/want
at their houses. Kids won't turn off a video game to play with a globe
they've had for years, and globes get outdated too. It's not about globes
themselves.

Kirby learned to read maps from the first Nintendo player's guide, with the
full Mario world laid out from beginning to end, with the locations of all the
rewards and dangers.

-=-What other activities have you offered in your homes for active, curious 6
year old boys? -=-

Why "in your homes"? That's the problem with "home"-schooling, too much
emphasis on home. Active curious six year old boys need movement in and around
new things they haven't seen before.

-=-I also have a 2 year old boy, who gets into everything as all 2 year olds
do, which is sometimes limiting in what we can do together as a family.-=-

When we had little kids we would try to focus on them. Find a park the baby
liked, and the other kids could find things to do there too. Find a concert
or puppet show the baby could like and the other kids probably had fun too.

-=-Once I relax, or stop "entertaining", they run back inside, and I wish
that I could put my feet up outside, and have them play outside in the fresh air
near me, without any effort on my part. -=-

You would be gaining the picturesque feel-good American family moment, and
they would be gaining... what? Fresh air? Open some windows in the house and
get a fan that blows air in, maybe.

Fresh air is overrated sometimes, and the air outside isn't always fresh. <g>
Still there's this "out in the fresh air" ideal. My mom used to say "Get
your nose out of that book and go out and play." She was partly jealous that
I could have a life without her, a life different from hers, and she was
partly wanting to feel like she was a good mom by controlling me and having me do
something she could checklist, report to anyone who asked. "Are they getting
enough exercise and fresh air?" or whatever.

Just yesterday Holly was talking about sitting in one tree we have, when she
was little, and drawing. I told her I used to go up on our barn and draw.
What I didn't tell her was I was on the barn because my mom chucked me out of
the house. So sitting (just sitting <g>) 20 feet up on the edge of a pitched
tin roof seemed kind of like revenge. Was it safe? Comfortable? Nice view.
Nice possibility of death. In retrospect, I think being in my own little
half-underground room right off the kitchen, without fresh air, reading a book,
would've been better.

My mom didn't know what I wanted or needed. She just knew vaguely in herself
that I shouldn't be getting to choose, that she was the mom and should be in
control of where I was, what I was doing, and what air I was breathing.

She herself was sitting listening to the radio, drinking beer and smoking
cigarettes, if she wasn't in the yard putzing, pulling weeds, and smoking
cigarettes.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/4/04 12:12:47 AM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< I was tempted to say to put the video games outdoors, if the kids being
outdoors is really important to you. >>

At our old house we were bursting at the seams. We had a big covered patio,
bigger than any room inside. Keith helped the neighbors move and they gave
him a big color TV. He put it on a folding table against the wall of the house
so no rain or snow could get to it, and he used to watch Babylon 5 out there,
even in the winter (wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the couch that didn't fit
inside anymore). Several times the kids hooked the Nintendo up out there.
It worked because the patio had a totally solid roof and there wasn't any glare.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/3/04 9:10:57 PM, mina@... writes:

<< My son got logged off his game after 17 straight hours. -sigh- Wish I
could get 17 hours to devote to something I love with no one interfering
and no one denigrating it. >>

Kirby's birthday was last Thursday, and they put four TVs upstairs (his,
Marty's and two borrowed from friends) all hooked up to play 16 player Halo. They
played for hours that night, and then the next day, and Saturday people
played. Sunday they didn't. Monday a couple of people played. They could've done
that on one TV. Gradually other friends have taken their parts of the big
set-up home. Yesterday, Tuesday, I asked a couple of times, "Aren't you guys
going to play Halo?" A couple of kids watched a movie up there, because an
X-box will play a DVD.

The reason I was pressing them to play was that if they're done, Keith could
use his folding table back, and I miss having Kirby's TV in his room. It's
really nice for me to be able to put in a familiar movie, or a new one, and use
the computer in his room. But for almost a week now, no TV in his room. And
they're not playing Halo anymore.

I just can't control these kids. <g>

Sandra

Elizabeth Roberts

I used to go and perch up in a tree with a book when
my mother would make me go outside to "play!"

Elizabeth

--- SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> In a message dated 8/3/04 9:42:20 PM,
> brewstersears@... writes:
>
> << I read Sandra's comment about providing globes,
> musical opportunities,
> etc.etc. - and I felt a momentary panic. What if
> the draw towards the video
> games is in part because of nothing better to do? >>
>
> Globes were an example of things I've heard parents
> say they didn't need/want
> at their houses. Kids won't turn off a video game
> to play with a globe
> they've had for years, and globes get outdated too.
> It's not about globes
> themselves.
>
> Kirby learned to read maps from the first Nintendo
> player's guide, with the
> full Mario world laid out from beginning to end,
> with the locations of all the
> rewards and dangers.
>
> -=-What other activities have you offered in your
> homes for active, curious 6
> year old boys? -=-
>
> Why "in your homes"? That's the problem with
> "home"-schooling, too much
> emphasis on home. Active curious six year old boys
> need movement in and around
> new things they haven't seen before.
>
> -=-I also have a 2 year old boy, who gets into
> everything as all 2 year olds
> do, which is sometimes limiting in what we can do
> together as a family.-=-
>
> When we had little kids we would try to focus on
> them. Find a park the baby
> liked, and the other kids could find things to do
> there too. Find a concert
> or puppet show the baby could like and the other
> kids probably had fun too.
>
> -=-Once I relax, or stop "entertaining", they run
> back inside, and I wish
> that I could put my feet up outside, and have them
> play outside in the fresh air
> near me, without any effort on my part. -=-
>
> You would be gaining the picturesque feel-good
> American family moment, and
> they would be gaining... what? Fresh air? Open
> some windows in the house and
> get a fan that blows air in, maybe.
>
> Fresh air is overrated sometimes, and the air
> outside isn't always fresh. <g>
> Still there's this "out in the fresh air" ideal.
> My mom used to say "Get
> your nose out of that book and go out and play."
> She was partly jealous that
> I could have a life without her, a life different
> from hers, and she was
> partly wanting to feel like she was a good mom by
> controlling me and having me do
> something she could checklist, report to anyone who
> asked. "Are they getting
> enough exercise and fresh air?" or whatever.
>
> Just yesterday Holly was talking about sitting in
> one tree we have, when she
> was little, and drawing. I told her I used to go up
> on our barn and draw.
> What I didn't tell her was I was on the barn because
> my mom chucked me out of
> the house. So sitting (just sitting <g>) 20 feet up
> on the edge of a pitched
> tin roof seemed kind of like revenge. Was it safe?
> Comfortable? Nice view.
> Nice possibility of death. In retrospect, I think
> being in my own little
> half-underground room right off the kitchen, without
> fresh air, reading a book,
> would've been better.
>
> My mom didn't know what I wanted or needed. She
> just knew vaguely in herself
> that I shouldn't be getting to choose, that she was
> the mom and should be in
> control of where I was, what I was doing, and what
> air I was breathing.
>
> She herself was sitting listening to the radio,
> drinking beer and smoking
> cigarettes, if she wasn't in the yard putzing,
> pulling weeds, and smoking
> cigarettes.
>
> Sandra
>
>





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Fetteroll

on 8/4/04 8:25 AM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> That's the problem with "home"-schooling, too much
> emphasis on home.

Yeah, we should call it world schooling!

Not only is it more descriptive -- of unschoolers in particular though not
for strict school at homers -- but it would highlight a weakness of
schooling. With the word homeschooling educators imagine kids locked away
from their peers with just mom at home. With world schooling we'd be
"pointing out" (without having to point it out) that we were out in the
world and they were the ones locked away. ;-)

Joyce

birthinlove

Sandra wrote> Fresh air is overrated sometimes, and the air outside
isn't always fresh. <g>
> Still there's this "out in the fresh air" ideal. My mom used to
say "Get
> your nose out of that book and go out and play." She was partly
jealous that
> I could have a life without her, a life different from hers, and
she was
> partly wanting to feel like she was a good mom by controlling me
and having me do
> something she could checklist, report to anyone who asked. "Are
they getting
> enough exercise and fresh air?" or whatever.

Hi Sandra,

Yes, this is it exactly - except that I too enjoy being in the fresh
air, as well as with my kids, and when we're hiking, or outside,
anywhere, I have a great time. Spiritual. That kind of thing. I
guess I was looking for other people that too enjoy getting outside,
but don't get the same enthusiasm from their kids. But your
description of the "should" part of the getting outside equation is
also a part of it, too.

I've received feedback from the list about how great video games are,
and I'm not thinking that this is my concern right now. My concerns
are not so much about video games (I've truly seen many benefits tied
to making their own decisions, whether it's video games or not), but
about making sure that there are enough other enticing opportunities
in case they're interested, as well as meeting my own needs for
outdoor time. I really appreciated your ideas about parks, puppet
shows, etc. We do that, but not as much as I'd like, I guess. It's
the rest of the time that they...make their own decisions about stuff
while we're hanging out at home. Which is great. But then I'm back
to whether or not we have enough to do around the house for them. If
I'm not interacting with them (or even if I am) then my son is
playing video games. And I do play with them, but of course, not all
the time. I'm not so concerned about my daughter - she reads, plays
Barbies, nurtures her guinea pig, writes stories, watches the
occasional movie, does all sorts of things that I can appreciate. I
guess it's also because I don't often see my son enjoying anything
else but the video games. Again, not about the video games, per se,
but wanting to make sure I've got enough around here, in case he's
interested. I remember a thread a while back about quilting shows,
and the suggestion was that a 9 year old boy would not like them,
likely, so do things more age/gender appropriate.

So, again, what other things have people on this list offered
(toys,activities) for active 6 year old boys who love woodworkiing,
sports (he's extremely athletic and capable), beyblades? Kind of
into crafts, but not so much.

Thanks again!

Michele
>

Crystal

***What if the draw towards the video games is in part because of
nothing better to do?****

What if they don't want anything more to do than just sit and play
video games. Sometimes my daughter just draws. Nothing else, just
draws. Sometimes I just read. We do lots, but sometimes we just
need to veg.

***How would I know?***

The way you'd know is because it wouldn't be working. The kids
would be whining or complaining or even straight out asking for
something to do. If they're not, then it's probably ok. Also, how
do they act when you take them away from the video games? Are they
happy you suggested something else or reluctant to go?

Crystal

Danielle Conger

Michele wrote: Yes, this is it exactly - except that I too enjoy being in
the fresh
> air, as well as with my kids, and when we're hiking, or outside,
> anywhere, I have a great time. Spiritual. That kind of thing. I
> guess I was looking for other people that too enjoy getting outside,
> but don't get the same enthusiasm from their kids.
===========

Joyce wrote: Yeah, we should call it world schooling!
===============

For our family letterboxing stamp, I designed an unschooling stamp that has
the world as a book opening up. The world is our "text" book!

Letterboxing is a great way to get the kids excited about going outside and
hiking, Michele. You can find out more at http://www.letterboxing.org and
you can see our stamp if you follow the Letterboxing link from my webpage
below.

Lboxing is kind of a scavenger hunt/ hike/ outing. It gives a reason to go
somewhere new, and a goal for the hike, which in my experience makes all the
difference with kids. We were out hiking the other day, without letterboxing
and the kids flagged about 15 minutes in--they're 7, 5 and 4. For a lbox,
they can hike about 2 or 3 miles--just to put it in perspective. It's a lot
of fun, and it's great to do as a diversion on long trips. You can find some
boxes on the way and take some time out of the car. Once the kids get older,
we'll probably graduate to geocaching, which is similar but with a GPS and
souveneirs. It sounds like great fun, too.

We also rock climb, which gets the kids outdoors a lot. We go climbing
pretty much every weekend as a family. We also built a climbing wall off the
kids' climber, and we'll all play around on that several times a week. My
youngest--4 and only son--probably plays on it the least, for what it's
worth. He's pretty happy to be inside playing his new Scooby-Doo game or
some other computer game. Dh and youngest dd (5) probably use it the most,
and it's been some really great bonding time for them. I climb during the
week some, but I'm mostly outside putzing with my gardens or my chickens.
The kids like coming in and out at their liesure. They help some, get bored
or hot and go back in. They also play outside with neighbors a lot--it's
always more fun with extra kids. They like feeding the fish or trying to
catch frogs in the pond. We've got lots of fun stuff outside--and lots of
fun stuff inside. They're pretty much free to choose whatever, except when
they're totally bouncing off the walls and I "suggest" we all go out for a
game.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html

Danielle Conger

Sandra wrote: > Globes were an example of things I've heard parents say they
didn't need/want > at their houses. Kids won't turn off a video game to
play with a globe
> they've had for years, and globes get outdated too. It's not about globes
> themselves.
==========

Yeah, but it's really cool to see how the globes change. My youngest, Sam
(4), loves maps. We pick them up where ever we see them: atlas type maps,
topo maps, cartoon maps, shopping maps, tourist maps, treasure maps, you
name it. He loves holding a map and giving directions. He's still has a hand
drawn treasure map, colored on his placemat at a restaurant three weeks ago.

So even an outdated globe can be fun to pull out and look at given the right
context. No, it's not about the globe itself, but more about having fun
stuff and finding fun stuff that you can pull out at the right time. That's
the point I like in Sandra's house as a museum article.

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html

pam sorooshian

On Aug 4, 2004, at 6:49 AM, Fetteroll wrote:

> Yeah, we should call it world schooling!
>
Not schooling, though.
World Learning.
But that sounds goofy.

I can't come up with anything better than "unschooling" - other than
just "Life."

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

eriksmama2001

I say that "the world is our textbook".

Pat

--- In [email protected], pam sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@m...> wrote:
>
> On Aug 4, 2004, at 6:49 AM, Fetteroll wrote:
>
> > Yeah, we should call it world schooling!
> >
> Not schooling, though.
> World Learning.
> But that sounds goofy.
>
> I can't come up with anything better than "unschooling" - other
than
> just "Life."
>
> -pam
> National Home Education Network
> <www.NHEN.org>
> Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
> through information, networking and public relations.

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], pam sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@m...> wrote:
>
> On Aug 4, 2004, at 6:49 AM, Fetteroll wrote:
>
> > Yeah, we should call it world schooling!
> >
> Not schooling, though.
> World Learning.
> But that sounds goofy.

Why limit ourselves to this planet?!

Universal learning.

Nah...still sounds like a program or curriculum.

--aj

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/5/04 6:53:13 AM, mamaaj2000@... writes:

<< Why limit ourselves to this planet?!


Universal learning.


Nah...still sounds like a program or curriculum. >>

Yeah. And "Universal Life" is already taken.
<g>

Sandra

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], Elizabeth Roberts
<ladyeliza_r@y...> wrote:
> I used to go and perch up in a tree with a book when
> my mother would make me go outside to "play!"

Reminds me of being caught reading a book while standing on a ladder
in my closet--I was supposed to be cleaning my room!

--aj

Have a Nice Day!

How about world exploring? Or World Discovery?

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Fetteroll
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, August 04, 2004 6:49 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] wanting some unschooling support


on 8/4/04 8:25 AM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> That's the problem with "home"-schooling, too much
> emphasis on home.

Yeah, we should call it world schooling!

Not only is it more descriptive -- of unschoolers in particular though not
for strict school at homers -- but it would highlight a weakness of
schooling. With the word homeschooling educators imagine kids locked away
from their peers with just mom at home. With world schooling we'd be
"pointing out" (without having to point it out) that we were out in the
world and they were the ones locked away. ;-)

Joyce



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Beth

I got caught reading a book when I was supposed to be paying attention to
the teacher in 5th grade. She made me stand out in the hall for 30 minutes
to punish me.

The book was way more interesting than she was.

Beth

----- Original Message -----
Reminds me of being caught reading a book while standing on a ladder in my
closet--I was supposed to be cleaning my room!

Kelly Muzyczka

>I got caught reading a book when I was supposed to be paying attention to
>the teacher in 5th grade. She made me stand out in the hall for 30 minutes
>to punish me.
>
>The book was way more interesting than she was.
>
>Beth

My dad actually knocked a book out of my hands, scratching my face with it,
one day. I was re-reading my Nancy Drews, trying to see if I could tell
the difference between who wrote which ones (they are ghost written) and he
was pissed I was re-reading them.

This was in high school. Hell, I was doing literary criticism for fun and
he got pissed.

Kelly

Robyn Coburn

<<<I got caught reading a book when I was supposed to be paying attention to
the teacher in 5th grade. She made me stand out in the hall for 30 minutes
to punish me.>>>

Boy, I got lucky. I was in Year 7, reading in the playground. I looked up
and yikes, the place was deserted. The bell had rung and I didn't even hear
it. I hurried back to class, probably 10 minutes late, and said, "Sorry I
was reading." The teacher just told me to sit down, without anger. This was
the same teacher who we managed to crack up uncontrollably by attaching cut
out paper hands to our rulers to hold up instead of our hands. To this day,
I know it was funny, but THAT funny?

Robyn L. Coburn

---
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Dawn Adams

Kristen writes:

How about world exploring? Or World Discovery?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I think I just like 'playing'. I think that's what I'm going to tell people.

Dawn (in NS)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cally Brown

Anyone remember when even 'big' girls' bicycles had baskets on the
front? I was surprised when someone informed me that they were not
designed to prevent boredom, and provide distraction from the dread of
the journey to school - by holding the open book that I was reading.

Cally

mamaaj2000 wrote:

>--- In [email protected], Elizabeth Roberts
><ladyeliza_r@y...> wrote:
>
>
>> I used to go and perch up in a tree with a book when
>>my mother would make me go outside to "play!"
>>
>>
>
>Reminds me of being caught reading a book while standing on a ladder
>in my closet--I was supposed to be cleaning my room!
>
>--aj
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Laura Bourdo

> Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2004 16:41:18 -0300
> From: "Dawn Adams" <Wishbone@...>

> I think I just like 'playing'. I think that's what I'm going to tell
people.
>
> Dawn (in NS)
>


We just say we're unschooling, and when people don't know what that means we
say it's 'pursuing our curiosity,' and go from there, depending on how much
they want to talk about it.

I've never heard a better name for what we do than unschooling, honestly.
Some may be more apt, but they are wordy, and they don't say what we're
about any more clearly.

I always read these threads though, because someday someone's going to come
up with just the thing! :-)

Laura B.

nellebelle

> I've never heard a better name for what we do than unschooling, honestly.
> Some may be more apt, but they are wordy, and they don't say what we're
> about any more clearly.>>>>

It is only unschooling because the kids are school age. Once they are over
21, they aren't likely to get asked if they go to school. Then it will be,
"do you work?" Hee, hee, maybe I will say I'm an unworker the next time I'm
asked.

Mary Ellen

[email protected]

In a message dated 8/5/2004 11:09:06 PM Central Standard Time,
nellebelle@... writes:

Hee, hee, maybe I will say I'm an unworker the next time I'm
asked.



Unjobbing. There's a book. :)

I usually just say I'm "retired" or "from the paid workforce" if it needs to
be more formal.

Funny how many jobs I've had since I retired, though. :)

Karen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]