diana

From Pat: >>>>> However, I have embraced that I am "trying my best
and that is the best I can do". When I don't do something I want I
don't beat myself down mentally. I regroup and realize I can do it
differently without the FEAR that I am failing. This constant FEAR is
a result of the painful consequences in my childhood that I was
unable to escape then. These consequences are gone now, choose your
priorities. For some, the best that they can do is not to hit their
children. For others, the children can thrive on so much more when a
parent isn't trying to overcome so much themselves. Be gentle with
yourself.
How can one play when one is on the verge of failing, IN HER OWN
MIND? You can not do it all perfectly. <<<<<

This was WONDERFUL! Thank you so much for saying exactly what *I*
need to hear :) My MIL was just here and I was putting on my
*Supermom* act and shoving my children into the *model grandchildren*
roles. It's no surprise that we only lasted 4 days til the first
rebellion against my micro-management! When MIL not-so-gently-
suggested I use spanking to deal with Hayden, I realized the whole
*being what she wants to see* experiment was a failure; she wasn't
seeing her grandchildren as the whole and wonderful people they are.
Well, it was really her grandSON she didn't see that way; Hannah's
incredibly adaptable and social, Hayden requires a lot more loving
patience. My kids are her *only* grandkids, I've now put the
responsibility of getting to know them back onto HER. If she only
sees them once every 18 months and expects perfect *restaurant*
behavior from them at all times, then SHE's the one missing the
boat. I will never again coerce my children into being who they are
not to make someone else comfortable.

~diana, Queen of Everything and a damnned good mama to Hannah,
Princess of Quite-a-lot and Hayden, Prince of Whatever's Left.

"There never was a good war or a bad peace" -Jones soda bottle