Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Changing friends b/c of homeschooling
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In a message dated 6/23/2000 3:58:29 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
metta@... writes:
<< And where are the fathers? >>
they marry the "wrong men" to start with and make babies because they think
that will solve the problems of the relationship, which of course it doesn't.
Having children is much harder on a relationship that is rocky and it takes
a solid relationship where the couple are on the same page to deal with kids.
if they haven't married the wrong man, they have just used him as a sperm
donor and he didn't bother to stay around and they don't think it's important
that men are in their kids lives. (Yes I have some interesting clients)
I cannot personally understand that mentality.... I could not and would not
do this without my husband (unless he died and I had no choice)...
it may have not invented it but it has gone a long way to help the break up
of families and to encourage women to have kids on their own as if it only
takes a female to have and raise a child instead of it taking both to create
and both to raise it. With my line of work the "norm" are people who put
themselves and their egos first above and beyond what's best for their kids.
Ego wins everytime and that ego need to be feed with money and being in the
work place where they can catch the next man.. This is not a cynical view but
a realistic one considering the number of women I talk with on a weekly basis.
Dawn F
metta@... writes:
<< And where are the fathers? >>
they marry the "wrong men" to start with and make babies because they think
that will solve the problems of the relationship, which of course it doesn't.
Having children is much harder on a relationship that is rocky and it takes
a solid relationship where the couple are on the same page to deal with kids.
if they haven't married the wrong man, they have just used him as a sperm
donor and he didn't bother to stay around and they don't think it's important
that men are in their kids lives. (Yes I have some interesting clients)
I cannot personally understand that mentality.... I could not and would not
do this without my husband (unless he died and I had no choice)...
>>Feminismdidn't invent our economic system nor our materialism/consumerism.>>
it may have not invented it but it has gone a long way to help the break up
of families and to encourage women to have kids on their own as if it only
takes a female to have and raise a child instead of it taking both to create
and both to raise it. With my line of work the "norm" are people who put
themselves and their egos first above and beyond what's best for their kids.
Ego wins everytime and that ego need to be feed with money and being in the
work place where they can catch the next man.. This is not a cynical view but
a realistic one considering the number of women I talk with on a weekly basis.
Dawn F
Lisa Bugg
> Ego wins everytime and that ego need to be feed with money and being inthe
> work place where they can catch the next man.. This is not a cynical viewbut
> a realistic one considering the number of women I talk with on a weeklybasis.
But you are talking to a self-selected sample of women. Women who call you
call just because things are not right. There are many millions of women
living very different lives. Different from you AND me.
And I would lay wager that if you could have a slumber party with most of
these women, you would find ego really isn't in their heart of
hearts.....they just no longer know how to strip things down to the core and
live there.
Lisa
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In a message dated 6/23/00 7:20:33 PM Central Daylight Time,
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< they just no longer know how to strip things down to the core and
live there.
decided to quit my job,and homeschool) is probably a good example of this.
She has said several times that she hates her job, or is thinking of
quitting, but deep down, I think she can't let herself do that. She has
worked for so long now, that it's like she can't change that part of her
life, in her perspective. To her, they need her income. Some people are not
willing to pare down their lifestyles, in order for a parent to be home more
with children, and she is an example of this. A few years ago she inherited
$100,000. They could have made it work where one parent could have been home
more-- one of the parents could have at least opted to work part time. But,
they spent most of the money, and refinanced their home for a lower payment,
when they could have paid it off or almost paid it off. They are just into a
lot of materialism, and are somewhat competitive about having and doing
things. I think she did not have a lot materialistically as a child, so it
seems important to her and her dh, to have as much as they can now. At any
rate, it seems that they are in a mindset that will not change. ~Karen
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< they just no longer know how to strip things down to the core and
live there.
>>My friend that I described on an earlier post ( we drifted apart when I
decided to quit my job,and homeschool) is probably a good example of this.
She has said several times that she hates her job, or is thinking of
quitting, but deep down, I think she can't let herself do that. She has
worked for so long now, that it's like she can't change that part of her
life, in her perspective. To her, they need her income. Some people are not
willing to pare down their lifestyles, in order for a parent to be home more
with children, and she is an example of this. A few years ago she inherited
$100,000. They could have made it work where one parent could have been home
more-- one of the parents could have at least opted to work part time. But,
they spent most of the money, and refinanced their home for a lower payment,
when they could have paid it off or almost paid it off. They are just into a
lot of materialism, and are somewhat competitive about having and doing
things. I think she did not have a lot materialistically as a child, so it
seems important to her and her dh, to have as much as they can now. At any
rate, it seems that they are in a mindset that will not change. ~Karen
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/23/2000 5:20:35 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< But you are talking to a self-selected sample of women. Women who call you
call just because things are not right. >>
Actually that's not the only reason women call... I do have plenty of healthy
clients as well that are looking for spiritual guidance or want a change in
their careers (they don't have kids to consider)... Of course in their heart
of hearts they want to be happy or with their kids... they just don't have
faith you can have both. They think it has to be money or happiness and
that's not true.
Dawn F
LisaBugg@... writes:
<< But you are talking to a self-selected sample of women. Women who call you
call just because things are not right. >>
Actually that's not the only reason women call... I do have plenty of healthy
clients as well that are looking for spiritual guidance or want a change in
their careers (they don't have kids to consider)... Of course in their heart
of hearts they want to be happy or with their kids... they just don't have
faith you can have both. They think it has to be money or happiness and
that's not true.
Dawn F
[email protected]
<<it seems important to her and her dh, to have as much as they can now. >>
How said that it's at the expense of their children.
Dawn F
How said that it's at the expense of their children.
Dawn F
[email protected]
My writing could be better.
I meant to say "How sad that is and at the expense of their children.
Dawn F
I meant to say "How sad that is and at the expense of their children.
Dawn F
[email protected]
I agree that kids need their mummy... boys also very much need their dads to
teach them how to be men. We seem to be sadly lacking in male role models in
this country and it's not surprising there is an upswing in the amount of
violence.
Dawn F
teach them how to be men. We seem to be sadly lacking in male role models in
this country and it's not surprising there is an upswing in the amount of
violence.
Dawn F
Debra Caruso
This is also sadly true.A majority of boys that have gone to school with
my sons,don't have fathers.I know my sons love their dad.He is my older
sons stepdad and our youngest bio dad,and they always look to him....Deb
in Va
NumoAstro@... wrote:
my sons,don't have fathers.I know my sons love their dad.He is my older
sons stepdad and our youngest bio dad,and they always look to him....Deb
in Va
NumoAstro@... wrote:
>
> I agree that kids need their mummy... boys also very much need their dads to
> teach them how to be men. We seem to be sadly lacking in male role models in
> this country and it's not surprising there is an upswing in the amount of
> violence.
>
> Dawn F
>
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In a message dated 6/23/00 10:59:03 PM Central Daylight Time,
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< I meant to say "How sad that is and at the expense of their children.
NumoAstro@... writes:
<< I meant to say "How sad that is and at the expense of their children.
>>Hi--I knew what you meant! :) I agree -- it is sad. ~Karen