Ali Kat

I'm sorry, but I haven't followed your entire posts on the hitting/biting stuff, so if I suggest something that's already been done - forgive me.

Are you near family? Does your hubby get vacation/sick time?

Yes, it is easy to get overwhelmed with small children. Sometimes an hour or two away can help. Sometimes taking a day all to yourself can help too. If you have family nearby then see if someone can come over and watch the children for a couple of hours. If hubby has sick/vacation time see if he can take off and stay with the kids for a while while you go out and do something you enjoy.

This is how it all starts - being frustrated and overwhelmed. You will lose the joy of your family and children if you don't take some time to just be. This is how the yelling starts, how it progresses, and how things can turn bad very very quickly.

There is also a part of you that DOES have to realize that your tea will go half drunk, the dishes will pile up, the laundry will get worse... Find some way to enjoy it anyways. Laugh and laugh often. Find it, seek it, seize it... Praise your children when they do give you time - even if it is 5 minutes. You will find they will give you more next time! Children are young for only a short time. I know you know this already!

Think of it this way... what are you teaching your children by your example? Both by your behavior and by not taking time to refresh your spirit?


Message: 1
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 2004 18:04:15 -0700
From: "Andrea Burlingame"
Subject: Re: Hitting, Biting, etc... (longish)

Julie S said:

==Hi Andrea,

I just have to say that as I read your post, my head literally began to
swim. It was like you were talking very loud and very fast with tremendous

I may be way off base here but my guess would be that your house is feeling
that way right now. Breathe deep. Meditate or something. Make a smoothie.
Whatever but calm down. Your kids cannot calm down until you do.==

I'm not sure what to say, because it is certain that I don't feel very calm.
On the other hand, it's not for lack of trying. I'm actually a very calm
person for the most part--never had high blood pressure at any checkup, love
to lounge with a good book, never stay mad long. I do get upset, and it can
be explosive (loud and energetic), but I calm down quickly and relaxing
isn't really a problem for me normally. Problem is, my children have lately
kept me from relaxing at all (unintentionally, of course.) If I sit down
with a cup of tea after playing with them or serving lunch and cleaning the
kitchen, I can't even finish it without getting up several times to deal
with something. I don't suppose that this is unsual for a mother with 3
young children, and I guess that's the crux of it. I'm thinking that unless
I can come up with some money for an occasional sitter or mother's helper,
then this is it for awhile. I can't tell you how much I wish I could truly
relax for a WHOLE day! LOL

Anyway, sorry to overwhelm everyone with my long and intense post. I'm kind
of embarrassed now. Oh well, I'm embarrassed even when I'm all alone with
myself. I hear this voice in my head, "What's wrong with you? Breathe.
How can this be so hard?"


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