[email protected]

Hi Michelle:

I don't know how or if this friendship thing is going to change... But
certainly as I've grown older and moved from continent to continent I have
lost touch with people with whom the connection was very strong. I think I
discovered that our friendships were based on us having certain things in
common and when we no longer had those things in common anymore the
friendship did fade. I think I can expect that from some of the friends who
will be sending their kids to public school because I won't have those same
experiences to talk about with them and that's what our relationship was
based on in the first place.

I know that my "best friend" that I first met when I came to the US is no
more as I couldn't come to terms with her dumping her daughter in daycare at
6 weeks so she could get back to work to make the almighty buck that is so
revered here. She said she'd be bored if she was forced to stay home with
her daughter and couldn't understand anyone wanting to do that. It was so
hard for me to be around someone like that, I decided to step back from her.
This wasn't an issue when we were single, picking up guys, doing drugs and
generally making fools of ourselves. Everything changed when we married the
men we did. Her husband's priorities is making as much money and having as
many things as possible. My husband's priority is our family and having as
much time together as possible... Things come later, if then.

Two of my friends are public school teachers who are adamant about the
teachers union being the best thing and public education being a necessity
and it wasn't until these past couple of years that I gave it much thought.
The more I come to learn about unschooling the less and less comfortable I am
around those friends and public schools and what they churn out.

So maybe some of it is the schooling decision and some is just that we all
grow up and apart as we age. The only friend I still have from long ago is
my friend in England whom I've known since we went to school together at the
age of 11. We are both now 40 and still see each other and keep in touch,
valuing each other's differences, although there doesn't seem to be many.
Now how do I introduce her to unschooling... she's just had her first baby in
February.....

Dawn F

Debra Caruso

Very well said Dawn.I have had many friends come and go,and I am
certainly at a much different place at 38,than I even was at 33!Deb in
Va











NumoAstro@... wrote:
>
> Hi Michelle:
>
> I don't know how or if this friendship thing is going to change... But
> certainly as I've grown older and moved from continent to continent I have
> lost touch with people with whom the connection was very strong. I think I
> discovered that our friendships were based on us having certain things in
> common and when we no longer had those things in common anymore the
> friendship did fade. I think I can expect that from some of the friends who
> will be sending their kids to public school because I won't have those same
> experiences to talk about with them and that's what our relationship was
> based on in the first place.
>
> I know that my "best friend" that I first met when I came to the US is no
> more as I couldn't come to terms with her dumping her daughter in daycare at
> 6 weeks so she could get back to work to make the almighty buck that is so
> revered here. She said she'd be bored if she was forced to stay home with
> her daughter and couldn't understand anyone wanting to do that. It was so
> hard for me to be around someone like that, I decided to step back from her.
> This wasn't an issue when we were single, picking up guys, doing drugs and
> generally making fools of ourselves. Everything changed when we married the
> men we did. Her husband's priorities is making as much money and having as
> many things as possible. My husband's priority is our family and having as
> much time together as possible... Things come later, if then.
>
> Two of my friends are public school teachers who are adamant about the
> teachers union being the best thing and public education being a necessity
> and it wasn't until these past couple of years that I gave it much thought.
> The more I come to learn about unschooling the less and less comfortable I am
> around those friends and public schools and what they churn out.
>
> So maybe some of it is the schooling decision and some is just that we all
> grow up and apart as we age. The only friend I still have from long ago is
> my friend in England whom I've known since we went to school together at the
> age of 11. We are both now 40 and still see each other and keep in touch,
> valuing each other's differences, although there doesn't seem to be many.
> Now how do I introduce her to unschooling... she's just had her first baby in
> February.....
>
> Dawn F
>
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Nanci and Thomas Kuykendall

>the one friend, I've had for 10 + years that lets me know, that some >friendships last forever, and this is a huge comfort when a another >friendship is dwindling. well it's a huge comfort, at all times. I >find that a couple real good friends is all I really need. Michelle


This always makes me sad. I have no long term friends. All my friends are new. I have moved quite a bit in my life and not been able (despite lots of effort) to get any friends from other places interested in corresponding and maintaining a relationship. I try and try with people and I just cannot seem to make good, lasting friendships. Now that we have been in Idaho over a year we FINALLY have two or three friends that we are getting pretty close to, and I hope like heck that they last!

Nanci K.

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Tracy Oldfield

Nanci, I know just what u mean! There are a couple of folk I
went to school with that I keep in contact with, but only because
we all go out every now and then... We were the off-the-wall
types in school, some things just don't change much <g> Apart
from that, there are several folk I've made 'contact' with, one way
or another, but just not kept up the association...

Tracy

On 23 Jun 2000, at 11:22, Nanci and Thomas Kuykendall wrote:


This always makes me sad. I have no long term
friends. All my friends are new. I have moved quite a
bit in my life and not been able (despite lots of
effort) to get any friends from other places interested
in corresponding and maintaining a relationship. I try
and try with people and I just cannot seem to make
good, lasting friendships. Now that we have been in
Idaho over a year we FINALLY have two or three friends
that we are getting pretty close to, and I hope like
heck that they last!

Nanci K.