The Negativity
mamaaj2000
MIL was here for a couple days, and oh, such negativity! Everything
ds did was going to lead to him breaking his neck or some such thing.
At one point she actually told him 'you can't see out that window'.
Not "don't look" but trying to tell him he couldn't do something he
was doing. Weird.
My question is, is this something parents have always done in
different cultures throughout history, or is it specific to this time
and place? She's 77, so lived through the Depression and WWII, if
that means anything.
Thanks,
aj
p.s. The obligatory 'child chooses fruit' story: ds ordered apple
cheesecake, ate the apples but not the cheesecake. And kindly offered
to share the cheesecake w/ everybody else, telling us it was "tummy-
tickling tasty"!
ds did was going to lead to him breaking his neck or some such thing.
At one point she actually told him 'you can't see out that window'.
Not "don't look" but trying to tell him he couldn't do something he
was doing. Weird.
My question is, is this something parents have always done in
different cultures throughout history, or is it specific to this time
and place? She's 77, so lived through the Depression and WWII, if
that means anything.
Thanks,
aj
p.s. The obligatory 'child chooses fruit' story: ds ordered apple
cheesecake, ate the apples but not the cheesecake. And kindly offered
to share the cheesecake w/ everybody else, telling us it was "tummy-
tickling tasty"!
bryabaldrich
--- In [email protected], "mamaaj2000"
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
sure runs rampant around here. My FIL just has to say someting
negative (which he sees as helpful advice) about *everything*. His
dad is the same way, and my husband has had to learn to see how
painful it can be to children, including his own little child
inside. He's one of those that in the past would say, "That's a
pretty tree you drew, but the trunk should be brown instead of
purple." Yuck. To his credit, he can now allow himself to feel the
pain of his dad's words so he can more clearly see that that's not
what he wants to do to his kids.
Just yesterday FIL was here looking at the frog house L & L (5yo)
built and he just had to take the wind out of their sails by
saying, "You really should put some more grass in there," etc. I
had to shoot him a look and say, "I think the frog looks very
comfortable in there. Lena and Liberty worked hard making the house
and I can tell the frog appreciates everything they put in there.
Don't you think so, girls?" I don't know if that was the right
thing or not, but I always feel like I have to undo those kinds of
remarks.
Abby
<mamaaj2000@y...> wrote:
> My question is, is this something parents have always done intime
> different cultures throughout history, or is it specific to this
> and place?I don't know about it being specific to this time and place, but it
sure runs rampant around here. My FIL just has to say someting
negative (which he sees as helpful advice) about *everything*. His
dad is the same way, and my husband has had to learn to see how
painful it can be to children, including his own little child
inside. He's one of those that in the past would say, "That's a
pretty tree you drew, but the trunk should be brown instead of
purple." Yuck. To his credit, he can now allow himself to feel the
pain of his dad's words so he can more clearly see that that's not
what he wants to do to his kids.
Just yesterday FIL was here looking at the frog house L & L (5yo)
built and he just had to take the wind out of their sails by
saying, "You really should put some more grass in there," etc. I
had to shoot him a look and say, "I think the frog looks very
comfortable in there. Lena and Liberty worked hard making the house
and I can tell the frog appreciates everything they put in there.
Don't you think so, girls?" I don't know if that was the right
thing or not, but I always feel like I have to undo those kinds of
remarks.
Abby