Nancy Jozwick

Kristi,
I hope I am not over stepping boundaries here - I have only been a member for a short time.
However, I understand that you feel it is safe for the baby to be carried by your 4.5 yr old and it seems that you have made provisions to make it easier for her.

My concern is a little different: I carried babies & children around when I was very small. Later on - in my teens - I began having very bad back aches. So my concern is that your dd may suffer later. I am sure the sling helps her but I am not sure it is enough. Just for your consideration.

BTW - it is great that your dd wants to help with the baby and clearly does such a great job!

nancyjoz

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kristi

Nancy,

Not overstepping at all ... Morgaine usually uses the sling for just
maybe 5 min. or less at a time; she will ask if she can carry Isaac
in the sling and I'll help her get it on properly. She seldom wants
to carry him around the house for longer than 2-3 minutes as she
gets tired of it, but other times she likes to sit on the couch with
him, then move to the floor, then the loveseat, then carry him
around a bit, then lay him down and play with him.

I didn't mean to imply that she carries him for long periods, just
that she can do it safely, in response to another post commenting
that a nine-year old couldn't safely carry baby. I've taught her
how to keep an arm under his bottom and around his back so that she
can carry him w/out dropping him, etc. And actually carrying a baby
in a sling or esp. a wrap carrier is better for anyone's back, mama
or child. In many cultures young children have charge of their baby
siblings for long stretches of time, usually with mama nearby. She
loves carrying baby; she feels super important. She can remember
not being allowed to carry Orion w/out Mamas hands helping, as she
was much younger then, and always wanted to carry him.

I thank you for your point though; I imagine carrying a baby
constantly on a growing back would have a similar effect to carrying
a heavy backpack. Her carrying time usually amounts to less than 5
min a day, though sometimes she does more.

Kristi

pam sorooshian

On Jul 21, 2004, at 8:52 AM, Kristi wrote:

> in response to another post commenting
> that a nine-year old couldn't safely carry baby.

Kids can safely hold and carry babies, of course.

I think Sandra's point was not that older kids can't hold babies safely
- it was that the BABY didn't have as much sense of security when the
kids were holding her as she does when Sandra was holding her....

That is my observation, too - with older siblings holding babies -
they're fine and I know it, but they're a little less confident and
they're not as big and strong and the babies sometimes sense that and
don't feel quite as comfy as with someone larger and more experienced.

-pam
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Nancy Jozwick

Well, I say good for you Kristi! I think some children can carry babies in a safe manner & I think it is really good for a daughter to want to carry & help with the baby! We are speaking of teaching.....

I, on the other hand, had 3bros & 1 sister. I did a lot of taking care of the 2 youngest bros but at the age of 12 I did a lot of the care of my sister. She was born with her arm broken & had to be carried a certain way & held a certain way etc......I was one of the few people allowed to help with her. My sister & I are very close because of that time - but I do have back problems & I am sure that didn't help.
nancyjoz

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Sylvia Toyama

It was our experience that the older the sibling, the more comfortable baby seemed with being held. When Andy was born, Will was only 11. He sometimes wanted to hold Andy, but Andy was seldom willing. When Dan came along, Will was 16. He would regularly scoop Dan up and carry him around, and Daniel adored him. When we brought Dan home at day 3 it was the first time they'd met (hospitals really creep Will out so he didn't visit). As we ate dinner a few hours later, I looked over to see Will in the rocking chair, cradling Dan and cooing at him. He must have carried him around for more that two hours that first day, with no complaint from Dan.

I've always thought the difference had to do with Will's increased confidence around babies some four-plus years later.

Syl

*****

That is my observation, too - with older siblings holding babies -
they're fine and I know it, but they're a little less confident and
they're not as big and strong and the babies sometimes sense that and
don't feel quite as comfy as with someone larger and more experienced.

-pam


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/21/04 10:18:04 AM, hayes@... writes:

<< I didn't mean to imply that she carries him for long periods, just

that she can do it safely, in response to another post commenting

that a nine-year old couldn't safely carry baby. >>

I was talking about a particular nine year old, not all nine year olds.
These girls are sometimes rough and not so careful with their sister, so
she's wary of Holly.

Sandra

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In a message dated 7/21/04 10:42:04 AM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< I think Sandra's point was not that older kids can't hold babies safely
- it was that the BABY didn't have as much sense of security when the
kids were holding her as she does when Sandra was holding her....

<<That is my observation, too - with older siblings holding babies -
they're fine and I know it, but they're a little less confident and
they're not as big and strong and the babies sometimes sense that and
don't feel quite as comfy as with someone larger and more experienced. >>

Exactly so.

I've been around those girls when they're holding their sister. Sometimes
they're holding her with her legs dangling down. They have no hip for her to
sit on. Sometimes they transport her very awkwardly as kids carry cats or dogs.
But cats and dogs can defend themselves, so I don't worry about them.

It's a combination maybe of size, experience, softness, hip... She just
would rather have me hold her than Holly. That's not a smear on anything or
anyone.

Sandra

[email protected]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I think Sandra's point was not that older kids can't hold babies safely
- it was that the BABY didn't have as much sense of security when the
kids were holding her as she does when Sandra was holding
her....>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I sometimes wish that my baby was less comfortable with his siblings
carrying him. He completely trusts them to keep him safe at all times!
Actually they are quite competent and had no prior baby experience
until Dylan came along. They are not rough with him at all and are
very aware of his needs and helping to meet them. I only get a bit
nervous when my son (9) carries him on his shoulders (like dad). When
Dylan wants down he will just throw his leg over his shoulder and
throws off Zach's balance. Usually Zach sinks to the ground so Dylan
doesn't launch himself into the air or other hard surface!

Kathy


That is my observation, too - with older siblings holding babies -
they're fine and I know it, but they're a little less confident and
they're not as big and strong and the babies sometimes sense that and
don't feel quite as comfy as with someone larger and more experienced.

[email protected]

In a message dated 7/23/04 8:28:51 AM, nancyjoz@... writes:

<< Well, I say good for you Kristi! I think some children can carry babies
in a safe manner & I think it is really good for a daughter to want to carry &
help with the baby! We are speaking of teaching..... >>

I wasn't speaking of teaching.

I was speaking of a visiting child (babysittee) feeling safe and making her
own choices.

I think it's wonderful for a girl to want to carr and help with a baby.
Holly wanted to carry and help with a baby, but the baby in question preferred a
bigger person to Holly. I wasn't interested in teaching the baby to trust
Holly, or teaching Holly to be bigger or different.

I respected the babies clear preferences.

Sandra