Ren

"It has occurred to me, though, that that baby will be raised without the benefit of maternal instinct having kicked in as part of the package of birthing and nursing."

Even some adopted babies get nursed by their adoptive Mums...though I imagine it's extremely rare.
I've read about ONE such case, where the adoptive mother knew the baby she was getting before it was born, worked with a doctor taking hormones, pumped and finally was able to nurse the baby when it came to her. It sounded very difficult, but she was very determined. And it worked out in that case.
I don't remember whether the Mom had any other children. I imagine it would be a whole lot easier to re-start lactation, rather than start it when you've never even given birth.??

Ren

"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying

Ren

"That is was my skewed vision from the side of
the fence of BEING adopted at almost four that made me think/hope/wish that there were no differences in how parents would love bio or adopted children."

Why would you wish for that if different doesn't mean "less than". If different just means different, not less intensely, then why would you wish for all children to be loved equally? You're contradicting yourself.
I have four birth children and love every one of them differently, but with equal intensity. My dh comes from a home where he and his sister came from different birth parents, and were both adopted.
Their parents loved them as their own children...they WERE.
They also loved them differently, as they were different people. My dh has a very close relationship with his Dad, did with his Mom until she died, his sister does not. That wasn't because they loved her differently, that's just genetics and how willing people are to grow.

Wishing for all children to be loved equally means you're placing some value on "different" that you claim NOT to be. One can love every person in their lives differently...that has nothing to do with intensity.

Ren



"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying

Mary

From: "Ren" <starsuncloud@...>

<<Even some adopted babies get nursed by their adoptive Mums...though I
imagine it's extremely rare.
I've read about ONE such case, where the adoptive mother knew the baby she
was getting before it was born, worked with a doctor taking hormones, pumped
and finally was able to nurse the baby when it came to her. It sounded very
difficult, but she was very determined. And it worked out in that case.
I don't remember whether the Mom had any other children. I imagine it would
be a whole lot easier to re-start lactation, rather than start it when
you've never even given birth.??>>




I've read about this kind of thing before. It fascinated me and I looked
into it quite a bit. They actually say that it doesn't matter if you have
had children before or not. Most women can lactate and nurse an adoptive
baby. Yes I would imagine it is rare as most people probably think it's
impossible to do. Plus it does take time and patience. But I have read where
women have done it without any kind of hormones or drugs too. You have to
start out with a really good breast pump and when the baby arrives, they
have a device that will nourish the baby and at the same time, encourage
lactation from the baby nursing on the mother. It's a little tube thing that
hooks up to the breast so they baby gets nourished even if the mom doesn't
have any milk or enough yet. Eventually it all kicks in.

Mary B

Sylvia Toyama

It's called a supplemental nursing system (SNS). There are a couple of different brands on the market, I think. It can be used with either formula or expressed breast milk. The idea is that it stimulates milk production and keeps baby at the breast, which also helps prevent nipple confusion.

Nursing an adopted baby is a lot of work at first, especially if a woman's never had a child before. I read once that even men can lactate, under the right circumstances. Something about tribal men in Brazil (I think) whose wives have died either during or shortly after childbirth, being able to induce lactation. It's not like they can run down to Safeway for a can of Similac!

Syl

*****

they have a device that will nourish the baby and at the same time, encourage lactation from the baby nursing on the mother. It's a little tube thing that hooks up to the breast so they baby gets nourished even if the mom doesn't have any milk or enough yet



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