Backstrom kelli

Hi, I introduced myself last week and appreciated a lot of the feedback I got then. So, as I said before I am just finishing graduate school (actually finished all of the schooly stuff like coursework and am now in an internship where I am actually learning things that matter). I went back and finished graduate school on the heels of deciding to homeschool and then looking in to unschooling and as I am a stellar student (man, can I test well and be a *star* pupil, blah) I know what little I have actually learned in school. I went back to school because frankly I needed a degree to do what I I digress, I am here today talking to all of you about getting out of this mindset of school school school. I am sadly one of the most goal oriented people that I know and I am driving myself crazy with my own internal dialogue of grading myself and finding improvement in myself and always being so critical of myself. I am working very hard on not using this with my kids and
relaxing and going for an unschooling approach. I am much better with my kids then I am on myself. So I was looking for any suggestions on how to get out of that mindset, enjoy my children. I am so bad that I do things like have a glorious relaxing day with them and just live in that moment that you all talk about so eloquently and then think things like "successful, A+, milestone" to describe my day. I know, its ludocrous but I am trying to be as honest as possible because I really want to try and get this (and get it right, maybe I'll get an A:) just kidding)
The other thing I am thinking of is that I am wondering if anyone could speak to the days that dont go that well, you know those days when small children are really needing you to be everything at everytime (I have two little ones and when they both need me they both really need me) and I love them and all of their neediness, afterall I am one of the neediest people I know, but sometimes literally I dont have enough hands and then I feel like I am just not living up to something. I think that this has to do with my whole goal orientedness. I also think that as I am writing this I am starting to realize how much I am taking the wrong approach with this unschooling thing. Possibly I just need to relax and let it happen rather than getting to worked up about it. That's hard for me too:( Anyhow, sorry to babble, Sadie's sunflowers poked their little heads out of the ground today. She loved did I. Kelli

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