Ren

" Here's what I need to do specifically:
Internet research, money management, ordering materials, telephone
calls, and general office work, much of it on the computer. This is
nearly impossible with Scotty around. He can't stand to have my
attention diverted."

You know, a mom's helper might work perfectly. Could you pay a homeschooled teen to come and help on certain days? She/he could take him to the park, or do fun walks, crafts, food etc... that he enjoys. I bet a helper that is at your home would cost a LOT less than the other options you're pondering. My other thought was to hire an Aupair, they're like a foreign nanny. I believe you can hire one part time. It would be cheaper than a Waldorf school, he'd be learning a bit about another country just by being with the person, and get lots of one on one attention!
A neighbor of mine had an Aupair from England...what a great accent.:)
If you could find a homeschooled teen, or a young college student, that might possibly be your best bet.

Ren



"There is no way to
peace. Peace is the way."
~Quaker saying

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/12/2004 11:02:13 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:
My other thought was to hire an Aupair, they're like a foreign nanny. I
believe you can hire one part time. It would be cheaper than a Waldorf school, he'd
be learning a bit about another country just by being with the person, and
get lots of one on one attention!<<<<

We had two au pairs. One from Germany, and one from Denmark. They are NOT
part-time. They are considered part of the family and live in your home for one
year. Cameron basically had two moms. Fourteen years ago they cost $3,000 down
(includes round trip plane fare, insurance, orientation, and a local support
group) plus $100/week plus room and board.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On May 12, 2004, at 7:53 AM, Ren wrote:

> " Here's what I need to do specifically:
> Internet research, money management, ordering materials, telephone
> calls, and general office work, much of it on the computer. This is
> nearly impossible with Scotty around. He can't stand to have my
> attention diverted."

It is hard to find an old-fashioned preschool that isn't really a
daycare situation, but if you can and if he LIKES it, I see no huge
problem with a couple of hours a few times a week of that. Again, if it
is a gentle nice place, not a place that teaches early academics, etc.
Hard to find, these days. Maybe a parent co-op would work.

I had a pregnant teenage girl come and take care of and play with my
little ones for about 6 months, almost every morning, while I was
working from home. She needed a temporary job and I liked her (knew her
mother). And I was there all the time - just busy on the computer. They
interrupted me a fair amount, anyway, but at least she could get them a
glass of water, etc., I didn't have to jump up in the middle of
something every 2 minutes.

-pam


National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Cheryl B

Reggio preschools, which are very respectful of children and led by their interests, would probably be one of your best options.

Cheryl
----- Original Message -----
From: pam sorooshian
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2004 1:11 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] new with question



On May 12, 2004, at 7:53 AM, Ren wrote:

> " Here's what I need to do specifically:
> Internet research, money management, ordering materials, telephone
> calls, and general office work, much of it on the computer. This is
> nearly impossible with Scotty around. He can't stand to have my
> attention diverted."

It is hard to find an old-fashioned preschool that isn't really a
daycare situation, but if you can and if he LIKES it, I see no huge
problem with a couple of hours a few times a week of that. Again, if it
is a gentle nice place, not a place that teaches early academics, etc.
Hard to find, these days. Maybe a parent co-op would work.

I had a pregnant teenage girl come and take care of and play with my
little ones for about 6 months, almost every morning, while I was
working from home. She needed a temporary job and I liked her (knew her
mother). And I was there all the time - just busy on the computer. They
interrupted me a fair amount, anyway, but at least she could get them a
glass of water, etc., I didn't have to jump up in the middle of
something every 2 minutes.

-pam


National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.



"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jennifer Altenbach

Ren wrote:

<<If you could find a homeschooled teen, or a young college student,
that might possibly be your best bet.>>

Good advice, Ren, thanks! It would be nice to have someone around to
run interference for me, especially between the two kids.

And Julie S. wrote:

<<Adults have worked throughout history with their children, many
times lots of children, right there with them.

Involved your son in what you are doing. Talk with him about it. Take
him
with you to talk to workers. Let him carry shovels. etc..>>

Yes, this works to a certain extent. I have a great picture of him from
last summer down at the job site, totally naked, filling a trench with
shovels full of dirt. And he can help us plaster, etc. The problem
comes when I have to do paperwork, computer work, or talk to my husband
about logistics. Sometimes we are so desperate to talk that we use a
kid-talking kind of voice and say stuff like, "Scotty, did you know that
the plumbing inspector is going to come tomorrow so we need to get a set
of plans down there???" We co-sleep, and Chris is usually so tired that
he lays down with Scotty at bedtime and falls asleep with him.

Thank you both for your advice! I'll probably look into hiring a
mother's helper.

Jenny




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jennifer Altenbach

Pam wrote:

<<It is hard to find an old-fashioned preschool that isn't really a
daycare situation, but if you can and if he LIKES it, I see no huge
problem with a couple of hours a few times a week of that. Again, if it
is a gentle nice place, not a place that teaches early academics, etc.
Hard to find, these days. Maybe a parent co-op would work.>>

Here's what I am afraid of with the preschool idea. I actually have no
problem with preschool if it is all free play. What I'm worried about
is that Scotty will love it so much (all the toys, art supplies,
playground equipment) that when he gets too old for it he will still
want to go to "school" like all his friends (and all of their parents
are calling preschool "school", I guess to get them used to the idea),
even though kindergarten is much more structured. Is this silly? Am I
wrong to limit his choices this way?


<<I had a pregnant teenage girl come and take care of and play with my
little ones for about 6 months, almost every morning, while I was
working from home. She needed a temporary job and I liked her (knew her
mother). And I was there all the time - just busy on the computer. They
interrupted me a fair amount, anyway, but at least she could get them a
glass of water, etc., I didn't have to jump up in the middle of
something every 2 minutes.

-pam>>

I'm so glad to hear everybody's suggestions about getting a mother's
helper. I guess I was thinking that if I am going to keep the kids home
then I'm responsible for all of their care myself.

Thanks so much!
Jenny





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/12/04 9:15:39 PM, salten@... writes:

<< I'm so glad to hear everybody's suggestions about getting a mother's
helper. I guess I was thinking that if I am going to keep the kids home
then I'm responsible for all of their care myself.
>>

When Holly was born, a neighborhood 12 year old nearly begged to help me with
the baby. I let her hold Holly all she wanted, and I paid her $2 an hour to
hang out at my house, play with the boys, change their video tapes, help them
with scotch tape and getting juice and... you know, the easy stuff but things
you can't do so easily with a baby in your arms.

That was a very good deal. I think I paid her $3 an hour if I was leaving,
and she took the boys to her house, and when she got older I paid her $4 and $5
an hour, but she was homeschooled (good) and this'n'that happened (not so
good) and when she was 15 she moved away. But it was wonderful while it lasted.

Sandra

J. Stauffer

<<<<<The problem
> comes when I have to do paperwork, computer work, or talk to my husband
> about logistics. Sometimes we are so desperate to talk that we use a
> kid-talking kind of voice and say stuff like, "Scotty, did you know that
> the plumbing inspector is going to come tomorrow so we need to get a set
> of plans down there???">>>>

Not jumping on Jennifer here, just wanting to discuss this topic. I hear
people with small children say this a lot. I see people with small
children, who are very loving, gentle parents be unable to talk for 2
minutes about an issue that needs to be talked about because their children
refuse to give them that space.

I have several small children. I know how they have difficulty waiting for
even 5 seconds to tell you things...but I also know that sometimes adults
must talk together about things.

At our house, I call dh at work during his lunch hour and we catch up or
talk about the logistics of things. Other times, I tell the kids that Dad
and I need a couple of minutes alone because we have to sort out a problem
and we go in our bedroom. We make sure to keep it brief and it is rarely a
problem.

How do other families handle this?

Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jennifer Altenbach" <salten@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, May 12, 2004 8:29 PM
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] new with question


> Ren wrote:
>
> <<If you could find a homeschooled teen, or a young college student,
> that might possibly be your best bet.>>
>
> Good advice, Ren, thanks! It would be nice to have someone around to
> run interference for me, especially between the two kids.
>
> And Julie S. wrote:
>
> <<Adults have worked throughout history with their children, many
> times lots of children, right there with them.
>
> Involved your son in what you are doing. Talk with him about it. Take
> him
> with you to talk to workers. Let him carry shovels. etc..>>
>
> Yes, this works to a certain extent. I have a great picture of him from
> last summer down at the job site, totally naked, filling a trench with
> shovels full of dirt. And he can help us plaster, etc. The problem
> comes when I have to do paperwork, computer work, or talk to my husband
> about logistics. Sometimes we are so desperate to talk that we use a
> kid-talking kind of voice and say stuff like, "Scotty, did you know that
> the plumbing inspector is going to come tomorrow so we need to get a set
> of plans down there???" We co-sleep, and Chris is usually so tired that
> he lays down with Scotty at bedtime and falls asleep with him.
>
> Thank you both for your advice! I'll probably look into hiring a
> mother's helper.
>
> Jenny
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
> "List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
>
> Visit the Unschooling website and message boards:
http://www.unschooling.com
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

Ann and Eric Yates

I have heard this often too.
I have three children, 11, 9 and 8. They are close in age, so when they were young, they always needed alot of us!
One of the great advantages to being home together all the time, is that we learn how to live with one another.
I've always explained to my kids that there are times when Daddy and I need to talk. They can be nearby doing whatever they want quietly, or even on our laps, but it is important that Daddy and I have these times.
We have discussed how important it is for marriage and ultimately our family for Dad and I to have these times together.
Now that they are older, they are welcome to join sometimes, and other times they are fine with letting us have these times.
This has always worked for us.
I think explaining the reason and that it is important to all of us, helped them understand.
Then, we are always sure that they have the same courtesy.
Ann

How do other families handle this?


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

AlysonRR

We do many of our adult conversations in the car or by phone on my
husband's lunch time. Sometimes on the phone *in* the car - we talk as
he drives home from work or as I drive home from whatever the kids and I
have been doing.

But the innovation that has changed our relationship (my husband calls
it "The Marriage Saver") is Bath Night. One night a week after the kids
go to bed my husband and I meet in the big soaking tub in our bathroom
and split a bottle of wine while we soak and talk about everything.
Candles aglow, warm water, hushed voices (because my daughter is
sleeping in our bed next door) - very relaxing and enjoyable. But the
important thing is the uninterrupted (usually) conversation.

Alyson

-----Original Message-----
From: J. Stauffer [mailto:jnjstau@...]
Sent: Thursday, May 13, 2004 11:06 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] new with question

...
At our house, I call dh at work during his lunch hour and we catch up or
talk about the logistics of things. Other times, I tell the kids that
Dad
and I need a couple of minutes alone because we have to sort out a
problem
and we go in our bedroom. We make sure to keep it brief and it is
rarely a
problem.

How do other families handle this?

Julie S.
...

Backstrom kelli

Bath time sounds great over at your house! Unfortunately there is no way my gigantic dh is going to fit with me in our little bath:) We really strive to have lots of alone time because we both really feel like if we are solid everything will be solid. Both of us come from awful parental models of what a marriage looks like so for us and for our kids we try very hard at our communication and our marriage as a whole. We still ten years in to it stay up late talking at night and making each other laugh. Kelli

AlysonRR <AlysonRR@...> wrote:We do many of our adult conversations in the car or by phone on my
husband's lunch time. Sometimes on the phone *in* the car - we talk as
he drives home from work or as I drive home from whatever the kids and I
have been doing.

But the innovation that has changed our relationship (my husband calls
it "The Marriage Saver") is Bath Night. One night a week after the kids
go to bed my husband and I meet in the big soaking tub in our bathroom
and split a bottle of wine while we soak and talk about everything.
Candles aglow, warm water, hushed voices (because my daughter is
sleeping in our bed next door) - very relaxing and enjoyable. But the
important thing is the uninterrupted (usually) conversation.

Alyson

-----Original Message-----
From: J. Stauffer [mailto:jnjstau@...]
Sent: Thursday, May 13, 2004 11:06 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] new with question

...
At our house, I call dh at work during his lunch hour and we catch up or
talk about the logistics of things. Other times, I tell the kids that
Dad
and I need a couple of minutes alone because we have to sort out a
problem
and we go in our bedroom. We make sure to keep it brief and it is
rarely a
problem.

How do other families handle this?

Julie S.
...





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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karen

>
>Message: 10
> Date: Wed, 12 May 2004 19:54:28 -0600
> From: "Jennifer Altenbach" <salten@...>
>Subject: RE: new with question
>
>
>
>Pam wrote:
>
><<It is hard to find an old-fashioned preschool that isn't really a
>daycare situation, but if you can and if he LIKES it, I see no huge
>problem with a couple of hours a few times a week of that. Again, if it
>is a gentle nice place, not a place that teaches early academics, etc.
>Hard to find, these days. Maybe a parent co-op would work.>>
>
>Here's what I am afraid of with the preschool idea. I actually have no
>problem with preschool if it is all free play. What I'm worried about
>is that Scotty will love it so much (all the toys, art supplies,
>playground equipment) that when he gets too old for it he will still
>want to go to "school" like all his friends (and all of their parents
>are calling preschool "school", I guess to get them used to the idea),
>even though kindergarten is much more structured. Is this silly? Am I
>wrong to limit his choices this way?
>


My first post here.

I did this with my son (my oldest child), who is now 9. My decision
to homeschool came more than a decade before he was born, so I was
looking for a non-academic "pre-school. " I found one, called
appropriately enough the Playschool Cooperative. I wanted to do it
because every blessed child in our neighborhood at the time was
either in school or daycare and I didn't know any other preschool age
homeschoolers (I know better now LOL)

The year after that, we moved to a house just down the street from a
school and we did have the problem of Peregrine wanting to go to
school from time to time. It turned out that his perception of school
was based on his playschool experience, combined with seeing the kids
on the playground at recess, lunch and gym. It looked like fun. All
it took was to talk to him about the general day at school. I wasn't
anti-school, but I did point out that those times he saw the kids on
the playground were the only times they got to go out during the day.
I also reminded him that his friends who went to the school could
rarely play in the afternoon because they always had homework to do.

We did go play on the school playground a few times after school, but
the parks have better playgrounds, so that wore out fast.

All in all, I'm glad I did it, though with my second, I got much the
same thing by doing activities with two homeschool groups that met
regularly. She missed having a big rice table and lots of big riding
toys, but she seems to have held up fine. :) If I had a third on the
way, I'd go with option 2 again unless I couldn't find like minded
homeschoolers in my area.

Karen in CT

Marjorie Kirk

But the innovation that has changed our relationship (my husband calls it
"The Marriage Saver") is Bath Night. One night a week after the kids go to
bed my husband and I meet in the big soaking tub in our bathroom and split a
bottle of wine while we soak and talk about everything.
Candles aglow, warm water, hushed voices (because my daughter is sleeping in
our bed next door) - very relaxing and enjoyable. But the important thing
is the uninterrupted (usually) conversation.

Alyson




This sounds really great. If only my DH could stay awake late enough for
the kids to fall asleep first.....


Marjorie

AlysonRR

The majority of nights my husband has to wake me up. But he wakes me in
such a (ahem) nice way, I don't mind ;-)

Alyson, who hopes that's not too much implied information...

-----Original Message-----
From: Marjorie Kirk [mailto:mkirk@...]
Sent: Thursday, May 13, 2004 11:01 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] new with question

This sounds really great. If only my DH could stay awake late enough
for
the kids to fall asleep first.....


Marjorie


Alyson wrote <...But the innovation that has changed our relationship
(my husband calls it
"The Marriage Saver") is Bath Night. ...>

Jennifer Altenbach

Karen wrote:

<<<<The year after that, we moved to a house just down the street from a

school and we did have the problem of Peregrine wanting to go to
school from time to time. It turned out that his perception of school
was based on his playschool experience, combined with seeing the kids
on the playground at recess, lunch and gym. It looked like fun. All
it took was to talk to him about the general day at school. I wasn't
anti-school, but I did point out that those times he saw the kids on
the playground were the only times they got to go out during the day.
I also reminded him that his friends who went to the school could
rarely play in the afternoon because they always had homework to do.>>>

Thanks Karen! I guess I should give him some credit. If I explained to
him what real school was like he would probably be fine with not going.
After all, I'm going to have to do that anyway when all of his friends
are in school.



<<<We did go play on the school playground a few times after school, but

the parks have better playgrounds, so that wore out fast.

All in all, I'm glad I did it, though with my second, I got much the
same thing by doing activities with two homeschool groups that met
regularly. She missed having a big rice table and lots of big riding
toys, but she seems to have held up fine. :) If I had a third on the
way, I'd go with option 2 again unless I couldn't find like minded
homeschoolers in my area.>>>

I think that's going to be the key for us. I'm going to turn up the
effort in my search for unschoolers around here, and of course I'm lucky
enough to be in the same city as our own Sandra, so I know they are out
there :-)

Thanks!
Jenny




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], "Cheryl B"
<avalchro@b...> wrote:
> Reggio preschools, which are very respectful of children and led by
their interests, would probably be one of your best options.

Has anyone heard of Marazon? It's what a local pre-school is based on
and they talk a lot about being 'child-centered' but I don't know if
they really mean it!

http://www.marazon.com/whatis.htm

--aj