J. Stauffer

<<unschooling pre-schoolers/kindergarteners>>

First thing you want to do is not to think of your kid in terms of what
grade they would be in in school. It just keeps you tied into that
mentality. Think 3,4 or 5 year olds instead. (I'm not just being bossy, it
really does make a huge difference <grin>).

I have 3 that have never been to school (although they want to try it out in
the fall <sigh>). Marsie is 7. She is "peri-reading" and a hard worker.
She knows how to add, subtract, write her name, has quite a few sight words
all without any lessons whatsoever.

Danny is 5. He knows his numbers from working the microwave to make snacks.
He has ZERO interest in reading or writing but is a computer whiz....simply
because he has been turned loose with it.

Michelle is 4. She is a terrific artist and knew all her colors at 2. She
counts but refuses to use 13 or 17 for some reason. She is also amazing on
the computer. She will say she wants to look at pictures. She turns on the
computer....clicks through to digital family photos...clicks on the file she
wants...etc..

I am one of those moms who basically tries to just stay out of her kids'
way. My kids (5) are sparking constantly with the occassional full-blown
forest fire of delight, learning, and excitement about something. I work
hard to just try to keep up with things they are wanting to do.

I have found unschooling to be much easier with the kids that have never
been to school actually.

Julie S.
----- Original Message -----
From: <Sanguinegirl83@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 4:46 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Younger unschoolers


Oops. I also forgot to mention (see? I really WAS tired! lol) that I have
local unschoolers to rely on and learn from, but none of them have younger
kids
and none of them homeschooled from the beginning. At least none of them that
unschool. I worry about being able to know what he needs and being able to
"keep
up with him" as he is pretty bright and seems like he is learning like a
weed, if that makes any sense. I think I'm doing okay, right now, but I feel
like
I'm stumbling blindly.
This is how things usually run: When he asks questions about something, I
answer from what I know. If he still seems curious or asks more questions,
we
usually go to books we have around here (we have a lot). If that doesn't
seem to
be enough or we don't have a book, we go to the internet and do a Google
search. (By the way, I found it extremely humorous to hear my 4 1/2 year old
ask a
question and then exclaim, "You can do a Google! We can find it out on the
computer!! With a search!!!" while he was practically dancing with
excitement!
LOL) This usually leads to "philisophical" type questions, and so far, we
haven't needed more. If he seems interested in something for more than a few
days,
we'll go to the library and take out a bunch of kids books on the subject.
I feel like I should have more "sources" for him, more information
available.
Personally, I am still tied up in "is he equal or ahead of his grade/peers
academically", which I think came from the books I had on what happens at
each
age, like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. I DON'T transfer my
concerns
about him "keeping up" with him, nor do I even say anything out loud or
compare. I just look at the schedules of learning for grades, and try to
leave that
material around. Sometimes he gets interested in it, and sometimes he
doesn't. If he doesn't, I don't worry about it, I just put the stuff away
for laying
out later.
At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the September
after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence
before I
actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling" thing,
so
that if I have any problems with my superintendent, I won't have the poor
confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up for my rights.
Alright, now you know-I'm a rambler. Sorry! :~)

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.

Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
Yahoo! Groups Links

J. Stauffer

<<<but I can't help but feel inferior to the more traditional homeschooling
moms. >>>>

I think this is where people get hung up a lot. We still get nuts, seeing
our kids as extentions of ourselves. WE judge them against other kids who
we see as extentions of thier parents. And we worry about how others will
see us, judging us vicariously through our kids.

I think establishing the boundary between us and our kids, seeing them as
whole individual people, rather than little satellites of ourselves. One
thing that really helped me to do that was to get into "the moment" with my
kids, not thinking about anything but exactly what we are doing right now
and to be as emotionally and cognitively present as possible. I became more
aware of the thought processes behind what the kids were doing. It helped
me.

Julie S.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Luv2bemama" <Luv2bemama@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 7:19 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Younger unschoolers


Hello Sang and others,

My name is Debi. I have been on the list several months as a lurker,
this is my first post. My children are on the younger side too. Tyler is
8, Morgann 6 and Elliott 4, Nevada will be 1 on Sunday.

I have a lot of the same concerns as you and unfortunately not any answers.
I can offer only the comfort that you are not alone.

I sometimes (ok honestly quite often) feel this is so easy I must be doing
it wrong. No struggles over what to do and what not to do...with deep
rooted memories of my own school experience, if you don't hate it and resent
practicing it over and over it can't be important. I know this is not true
but sometimes the insecurities creep back up. I wonder ( to myself) as you
do, "How do they measure up with their peers?" We are the only unschoolers
in our homeschool group and it is sometimes hard to keep things in
perspective. I hear stories of all these child prodigies and my 8 year old
still struggles to read. I know in my heart I am doing what is best for my
kids. So how do we gain the confidence? I don't know. I guess through
years of seeing our children grow and learn we will just relax. I hope!

I would like to know how other unschoolers have dealt with the insecurities.
My son Tyler loves to read and we read together all the time but he
struggles. Also writing, I see kids he age writing volumes and we can't
string a sentence together. Am I killing his future? Will these things
improve without constant prodding?

I know in my heart he has the rest of his life to learn to read and write
but only such a short time to be a little boy but I can't help but feel
inferior to the more traditional homeschooling moms. I see improvement
everyday in all my kids. I am blown away by the things they know. They
have unschooled me a LOT. Most of all they are happy. They come in each
day dirty head to toe from a day of exploring. We spend more time scrubbing
away dirt from their little bodies then we have ever spent in a workbook.
How do I relax about the basics and scrub away my insecurities?

Sang, one thing that has relieved my " officially homeschooling" anxiety is
telling myself the kids have always been unschoolers. They learned to turn
over, get up on all fours, crawl, stand, walk and talk. I watched and
marveled at this progression but I didn't teach them to do it. The magic
official age doesn't change their ability to continue to learn and grow.
Children are amazing.

Debi

unschooling in Fl
Tyler 8, Morgann 6, Elliott 4 and Nevada 1
----- Original Message -----
From: Sanguinegirl83@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 5:46 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Younger unschoolers


Oops. I also forgot to mention (see? I really WAS tired! lol) that I have
local unschoolers to rely on and learn from, but none of them have younger
kids
and none of them homeschooled from the beginning. At least none of them
that
unschool. I worry about being able to know what he needs and being able to
"keep
up with him" as he is pretty bright and seems like he is learning like a
weed, if that makes any sense. I think I'm doing okay, right now, but I
feel like
I'm stumbling blindly.
This is how things usually run: When he asks questions about something, I
answer from what I know. If he still seems curious or asks more questions,
we
usually go to books we have around here (we have a lot). If that doesn't
seem to
be enough or we don't have a book, we go to the internet and do a Google
search. (By the way, I found it extremely humorous to hear my 4 1/2 year
old ask a
question and then exclaim, "You can do a Google! We can find it out on the
computer!! With a search!!!" while he was practically dancing with
excitement!
LOL) This usually leads to "philisophical" type questions, and so far, we
haven't needed more. If he seems interested in something for more than a
few days,
we'll go to the library and take out a bunch of kids books on the subject.
I feel like I should have more "sources" for him, more information
available.
Personally, I am still tied up in "is he equal or ahead of his grade/peers
academically", which I think came from the books I had on what happens at
each
age, like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. I DON'T transfer my
concerns
about him "keeping up" with him, nor do I even say anything out loud or
compare. I just look at the schedules of learning for grades, and try to
leave that
material around. Sometimes he gets interested in it, and sometimes he
doesn't. If he doesn't, I don't worry about it, I just put the stuff away
for laying
out later.
At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about
unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the
September
after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence
before I
actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling"
thing, so
that if I have any problems with my superintendent, I won't have the poor
confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up for my rights.
Alright, now you know-I'm a rambler. Sorry! :~)

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


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"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.

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http://www.unschooling.com



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




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[email protected]

Oops. I also forgot to mention (see? I really WAS tired! lol) that I have
local unschoolers to rely on and learn from, but none of them have younger kids
and none of them homeschooled from the beginning. At least none of them that
unschool. I worry about being able to know what he needs and being able to "keep
up with him" as he is pretty bright and seems like he is learning like a
weed, if that makes any sense. I think I'm doing okay, right now, but I feel like
I'm stumbling blindly.
This is how things usually run: When he asks questions about something, I
answer from what I know. If he still seems curious or asks more questions, we
usually go to books we have around here (we have a lot). If that doesn't seem to
be enough or we don't have a book, we go to the internet and do a Google
search. (By the way, I found it extremely humorous to hear my 4 1/2 year old ask a
question and then exclaim, "You can do a Google! We can find it out on the
computer!! With a search!!!" while he was practically dancing with excitement!
LOL) This usually leads to "philisophical" type questions, and so far, we
haven't needed more. If he seems interested in something for more than a few days,
we'll go to the library and take out a bunch of kids books on the subject.
I feel like I should have more "sources" for him, more information available.
Personally, I am still tied up in "is he equal or ahead of his grade/peers
academically", which I think came from the books I had on what happens at each
age, like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. I DON'T transfer my concerns
about him "keeping up" with him, nor do I even say anything out loud or
compare. I just look at the schedules of learning for grades, and try to leave that
material around. Sometimes he gets interested in it, and sometimes he
doesn't. If he doesn't, I don't worry about it, I just put the stuff away for laying
out later.
At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the September
after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence before I
actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling" thing, so
that if I have any problems with my superintendent, I won't have the poor
confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up for my rights.
Alright, now you know-I'm a rambler. Sorry! :~)

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Luv2bemama

Hello Sang and others,

My name is Debi. I have been on the list several months as a lurker, this is my first post. My children are on the younger side too. Tyler is 8, Morgann 6 and Elliott 4, Nevada will be 1 on Sunday.

I have a lot of the same concerns as you and unfortunately not any answers. I can offer only the comfort that you are not alone.

I sometimes (ok honestly quite often) feel this is so easy I must be doing it wrong. No struggles over what to do and what not to do...with deep rooted memories of my own school experience, if you don't hate it and resent practicing it over and over it can't be important. I know this is not true but sometimes the insecurities creep back up. I wonder ( to myself) as you do, "How do they measure up with their peers?" We are the only unschoolers in our homeschool group and it is sometimes hard to keep things in perspective. I hear stories of all these child prodigies and my 8 year old still struggles to read. I know in my heart I am doing what is best for my kids. So how do we gain the confidence? I don't know. I guess through years of seeing our children grow and learn we will just relax. I hope!

I would like to know how other unschoolers have dealt with the insecurities. My son Tyler loves to read and we read together all the time but he struggles. Also writing, I see kids he age writing volumes and we can't string a sentence together. Am I killing his future? Will these things improve without constant prodding?

I know in my heart he has the rest of his life to learn to read and write but only such a short time to be a little boy but I can't help but feel inferior to the more traditional homeschooling moms. I see improvement everyday in all my kids. I am blown away by the things they know. They have unschooled me a LOT. Most of all they are happy. They come in each day dirty head to toe from a day of exploring. We spend more time scrubbing away dirt from their little bodies then we have ever spent in a workbook. How do I relax about the basics and scrub away my insecurities?

Sang, one thing that has relieved my " officially homeschooling" anxiety is telling myself the kids have always been unschoolers. They learned to turn over, get up on all fours, crawl, stand, walk and talk. I watched and marveled at this progression but I didn't teach them to do it. The magic official age doesn't change their ability to continue to learn and grow. Children are amazing.

Debi

unschooling in Fl
Tyler 8, Morgann 6, Elliott 4 and Nevada 1
----- Original Message -----
From: Sanguinegirl83@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, April 21, 2004 5:46 AM
Subject: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Younger unschoolers


Oops. I also forgot to mention (see? I really WAS tired! lol) that I have
local unschoolers to rely on and learn from, but none of them have younger kids
and none of them homeschooled from the beginning. At least none of them that
unschool. I worry about being able to know what he needs and being able to "keep
up with him" as he is pretty bright and seems like he is learning like a
weed, if that makes any sense. I think I'm doing okay, right now, but I feel like
I'm stumbling blindly.
This is how things usually run: When he asks questions about something, I
answer from what I know. If he still seems curious or asks more questions, we
usually go to books we have around here (we have a lot). If that doesn't seem to
be enough or we don't have a book, we go to the internet and do a Google
search. (By the way, I found it extremely humorous to hear my 4 1/2 year old ask a
question and then exclaim, "You can do a Google! We can find it out on the
computer!! With a search!!!" while he was practically dancing with excitement!
LOL) This usually leads to "philisophical" type questions, and so far, we
haven't needed more. If he seems interested in something for more than a few days,
we'll go to the library and take out a bunch of kids books on the subject.
I feel like I should have more "sources" for him, more information available.
Personally, I am still tied up in "is he equal or ahead of his grade/peers
academically", which I think came from the books I had on what happens at each
age, like rolling over, sitting up, crawling, etc. I DON'T transfer my concerns
about him "keeping up" with him, nor do I even say anything out loud or
compare. I just look at the schedules of learning for grades, and try to leave that
material around. Sometimes he gets interested in it, and sometimes he
doesn't. If he doesn't, I don't worry about it, I just put the stuff away for laying
out later.
At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the September
after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence before I
actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling" thing, so
that if I have any problems with my superintendent, I won't have the poor
confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up for my rights.
Alright, now you know-I'm a rambler. Sorry! :~)

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.

Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com



------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Hill

**(By the way, I found it extremely humorous to hear my 4 1/2 year old
ask a
question and then exclaim, "You can do a Google! We can find it out on the
computer!! With a search!!!" while he was practically dancing with
excitement!
LOL)**

It's great. It's delightful. Sometimes I pester my husband when he
laughs "at" our child's expressions, but he has tried to clarify me that
he is really laughing with delight, not "laughing at".

At dh's high school, access to computers for searching and learning has
been made extremely difficult. Teacher's have to submit a lesson plan
in advance to the librarian and she has to approve it. It's
outrageous. Be really really glad that your son can have his curiousity
gratified so quickly.

I have a ten year old and have unschooled from the start.

Betsy

Robyn Coburn

<<This usually leads to "philisophical" type questions, and so far, we
haven't needed more. If he seems interested in something for more than a few
days, we'll go to the library and take out a bunch of kids books on the
subject.>>

Some author was writing at length about the amazingly deep philosophical
issues that youngsters will bring up - was it Holt? Does anyone recall
better than me? I remember that one of the examples given was a tearful boy
asking close to, "why is it selfish when one person changes the channel but
not selfish when four people are hogging the tv?" because his visitors were
preventing him from seeing his favorite program.

<<At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about
unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the September

after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence
before I actually have to worry about the official "now we are
homeschooling" thing, so that if I have any problems with my superintendent,
I won't have the poor confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up
for my rights.>>

Jayn is 4.5. I think of her as 4.5. That is easier for me because I'm from
Australia and children are not described as X graders, but by their age. As
a matter of fact I always find in confusing when I read "A second grader was
suspended for ..." - so how old were they? And I have trouble translating.

If you are unschooling there are no grades. In your situation you are
deschooling yourself, as I still am, from the large number of years you
spent in the school system, which means renouncing your schoolish inner
language and thoughts. If you really want to get the full wonder of
unschooling, it is not enough just to bite your tongue around your son,
although that is a good start! I deliberately never look at any of those
schedules of learning, or seek out graded materials. Jayn has some workbooks
that grandparents have given her, that are in with her coloring books. I
also ignore the recommended age on some books and computer games, getting
what Jayn expresses interest in. When I get doubts, I hurry over to the
unschooling.com message boards or list archives for an injection of faith.
That is, unless Jayn removes those niggling concerns first by some wonderful
action that shows her personality and development!

"How Children Learn" by John Holt is specifically about the younger set - be
certain to get the latest edition of his books, which he annotated before he
died. There are places where he added basically, "I don't believe that
anymore and I'm sorry I wrote it". Just wonderful.

"And the Skylark Sings With Me" also has lots about when the girls were
little. New homeschoolers often feel scared of authority. The actual
number/proportion of people harassed by the superintendents is very small.
Knowledge is power. Know the laws in your State, as you seem to. My personal
advice is to stay away from websites that trade in fear, like HSLDA often
does, and keep visible in your local support group.

Robyn L. Coburn

---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.658 / Virus Database: 421 - Release Date: 4/9/2004

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/04 8:12:29 AM, ecsamhill@... writes:

<< At dh's high school, access to computers for searching and learning has

been made extremely difficult. Teacher's have to submit a lesson plan

in advance to the librarian and she has to approve it. It's

outrageous. Be really really glad that your son can have his curiousity

gratified so quickly.

>>

CAN YOU IMAGINE!??!!!

They will probably succeed in making a large segment of a generation of kids
loathe and avoid computers because they associate them with school crap.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/04 8:41:03 AM, dezigna@... writes:

<< Some author was writing at length about the amazingly deep philosophical
issues that youngsters will bring up - was it Holt? >>

Maybe it's

Philosophy and the Young Child
Gareth B. Matthews
ISBN 0-8674-66606
Puzzlement, Play, Reasoning, Piaget, Stories, Fantasy, Anxiety, Naiveté,
Dialogues


Great book to just read. Short, easy, happy, serious, etc. <g>
I bought it from the Holt bookstore years ago, so maybe they sell it through
FUN books,
link is here to check:

http://sandradodd.com/johnholt

Sandra

the_clevengers

--- In [email protected], "Luv2bemama"
<Luv2bemama@c...> wrote:
> I would like to know how other unschoolers have dealt with the
>insecurities. My son Tyler loves to read and we read together all
>the time but he struggles. Also writing, I see kids he age writing
>volumes and we can't string a sentence together. Am I killing his
>future? Will these things improve without constant prodding?

One thing I've learned about writing and reading in the last couple
of years is that they way that they go about it in schools, or
perhaps even structured homeschooling can be backwards for many kids.
My son has a million stories in his head, but has a very difficult
time writing. His hand can't keep up with his head, and even typing
on the computer is too slow since he's still hunting and pecking. So
when he wants to write a story, most of the time he dictates it to me
and I either type or hand-write it for him. Someone told me that he
wasn't really "writing", but I think that's totally bogus. If I was
incapacitated in an accident and became a quadraplegic, and I
dictated a novel and had someone else type it up, who would be the
author, me or the typist?? Writing (at least in the creative sense)
is the process of invention, not the act of making lines and circles
on paper. That will come along as motor skills progress to the point
where they can catch up with the brain. Ditto with reading - what's
more important - that kids have a love of great stories and can
imagine them in their heads, or that they learn to make sense of the
lines and sticks on the page by a certain age? There's plenty of
people out there in the world who *can* read, but don't want to.

I guess my .02 would be that if he wants to write a story, help him
with the mechanics of it until his handwriting improves. Usually my
son will write the title page, or even start a story and I'll help
him finish it when he gets bogged down. As time has passed, he can
write more and more. It's still not easy for him, as it is for other
kids even younger than him, but he'll get it in his own time. To me,
it's more important that they love and are not frustrated by the
creative process.

> I know in my heart he has the rest of his life to learn to read and
>write but only such a short time to be a little boy but I can't help
>but feel inferior to the more traditional homeschooling moms.

There are things you can do to reassure yourself - keep a journal,
keep a file of the stuff your kids write/draw/do, etc. Sometimes if
you're struggling with doubts, it helps just to sit down and look at
how they're learning, all on their own to do something like write
more clearly. Or to look at a journal of all the thing you do in a
day, week, or month. This can be helpful to do, even for a little
while, until you feel more comfortable just going day by day with the
knowledge that they're growing and learning all the time. I think
it's helpful to think of all the regular stuff that they learn how to
do with no instruction. Like look at your children's pictures. At age
2 or 3, people are big round circles with lines coming out the side
for arms and legs. By 4 or 5 or so, the people develop heads and hair
and belly buttons, fingers and toes. No one sits down with a child
and tells them that they need to stop drawing round people and start
making bodies, heads, hair, etc. They just do so, from observing the
world around them and constantly updating what they can do. This
organic process occurs with reading and writing too. As they learn
more words, they spell more of them correctly. As they begin to
notice grammar, they use it more efficiently in their writing. I
remember when my son discovered quote marks in books we read. All of
a sudden, his writing was filled with quotes.
"Boom!", "Bang!", "Wow" he said. was one line I remember. Ditto when
he discovered exclamation marks. They figure these things out, one at
a time, the same way they add in belly buttons and hair to drawings.
If you start to just pay attention to it, you'll see the growth
happen before your eyes.

Blue Skies,
-Robin-

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2004 6:33:25 AM Eastern Standard Time,
Sanguinegirl83@... writes:
> I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence before I
> actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling"


I felt the same way and made the HUGE mistake of putting him in Kindergarten
this year. I guess I'd look at it like this: You ARE homeschooling or not
schooling NOW and he is "learning like a weed" you said, so there's your
confidence boost. And don't worry about the official "now we are homeschooling"
because that's just red tape that other people want to put you through, not
because they CARE, but because it's their job to make you fill out papers and make
your life difficult and to instill fear in you. Somebody on this very list
told me not to look so far in the future that I feel overwhelmed and that little
tidbit helped me immensely because that's exactly what I was doing. I was
thinking of all this stuff that he should know or will he know and high school
and college and it took that one sentence to make me realize he's only 6!!!
We'll learn together and cherish every moment. Twelve years from now is
irrelevant, the here and now is spectacular, even when we're too pooped to appreciate
it right then.

Pamela, who is becoming too long winded (BREAK TIME)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2004 1:43:18 PM Eastern Standard Time,
jnjstau@... writes:
> One
> thing that really helped me to do that was to get into "the moment" with my
> kids, not thinking about anything but exactly what we are doing right now
> and to be as emotionally and cognitively present as possible. I became more
> aware of the thought processes behind what the kids were doing. It helped
> me.


That's awesome and so true. Kids seem to be clueless about everything else
when they are involved in something, because they dive into stuff with
concentration and determination. I think as adults, we are so likely to "multi-task"
that we don't get the full measure of any one thing, at least not me. But
when I do get that moment to "really" see what they are doing or even something I
am doing without distraction, internal or external, it's amazing how much
more significant it becomes.

Pamela


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2004 10:40:10 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
dezigna@... writes:

> New homeschoolers often feel scared of authority. The actual
> number/proportion of people harassed by the superintendents is very small.
> Knowledge is power. Know the laws in your State, as you seem to. My personal
> advice is to stay away from websites that trade in fear, like HSLDA often
> does, and keep visible in your local support group.
>

I do avoid HSLDA, as I am not christian, so I don't feel they represent me at
all. I do fear the authority in this area, basically because there is a
history of it. The school system actually notified CSB of "abuse" in my unschooling
friend's home because she was homeschooling AND protesting giving the super
more info than was required by law. Fortunately, CSB saw things as they were
and she was spared TOO much hassle, but I have had a healthy fear of CSB long
before we had decided on homeschooling, due to our alternate beliefs and ways of
raising our child/children. I am quite paranoid about them, in fact, so much
so that it keeps me quiet about sharing much of any information about
ourselves with anyone. You know how the general popluation is: different is bad. Other
than THAT, I worry about pretty much nothing! LOL

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2004 10:47:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
jnjstau@... writes:

> First thing you want to do is not to think of your kid in terms of what
> grade they would be in in school. It just keeps you tied into that
> mentality. Think 3,4 or 5 year olds instead.

LOL I do, I just forgot who I was talking to! :~) I do think and talk in age,
but so often I get people who then ask what grade I am talking about... then
I have to repeat myself, and I do so hate to repeat myself! LOL

knew all her colors at 2
Wyl did, too! He knew his alphabet and could count to 20 by 2, also. He seems
to crave SO much "input"... he asks me questions after I'm out of answers, or
will ask the same questions, as if I haven't answered them enough or "right"
(for him). He IS a very social, conversation-oriented kid, and prefers to get
his info from people. Maybe the books, etc. should be for me to relate to him.
He reads quite a bit, but the questions still come to me or Daddy. He wants
to know MORE than the book tells him-usually things I would never have thought
to wonder about. I guess I just feel neglectful in the supply of sources for
him...

Síocháin ar domhan,
Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2004 1:42:30 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
jnjstau@... writes:

> WE judge them against other kids who
> we see as extentions of thier parents. And we worry about how others will
> see us, judging us vicariously through our kids.
>

This is something that bothers me a lot. I try to teach Wyl that we shouldn't
care what other people think of us (well, maybe family), but when I go to
teach him how his behavior in public makes me embarrassed, the only thing I can
think of is"what do you think people will think of me as a parent", and then I
have nothing to say! LOL P"lease don't do that, it makes me feel bad" seems to
fall on deaf ears. I tell DH that often: we have SUCH a different way of
raising our child, it is basically foreign to us. It is NOTHING like we were
raised, and so we have nothing to "fall back on" but bad habbits and negative
examples. I suppose we live and learn, but sometimes it is hard to see the "exit"
when we are trapped in our "parents' ways of parenting".

Sang


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dawn Adams

----- Original Message ----- >>>>>>>>>>

--- In [email protected], "Luv2bemama"
<Luv2bemama@c...> wrote:
> I would like to know how other unschoolers have dealt with the
>insecurities. My son Tyler loves to read and we read together all
>the time but he struggles. Also writing, I see kids he age writing
>volumes and we can't string a sentence together. Am I killing his
>future? Will these things improve without constant prodding?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Since I started unschooling I've gotten over my math insecurities by realizing that math isn't equations on a page, it's patterns and sequence, logic and reasoning, real life stuff that no one can go without learning. The basics have nothing to do with the codes school children are taught to write down (most often without understanding). So what about writing? This was the subject I was comfortable with but it was only a few nights ago that I realized worrying about spelling and grammar and structure would get me nowhere. It's the same thing as math, that stuff is just the language, the code for what writing REALLY is. Writing is really about storytelling. It's really about telling jokes and family stories and making up tales on the fly. It's about becoming adept at relating compelling events and drawing others into what you are relating or imagining. The actual physical act of writing stuff down happened thousands upon thousands of years after humans had already become master storytellers and developed complicated myths, beliefs and legends. Why should we be assuming that all of a sudden the physical act is the more important matter?
Anyhow, tell stories (real and fantastic), tell jokes, share gossip (the nice stuff), listen to all of his stories and jokes, make language about living not about a struggle with a pencil and your child won't be able to help but want to master the skill that will let him share his own ideas and stories with others. Maybe it will come later than most kids when he does begin to write, but he'll likely have a whole lot more to write about.
School has spent so many years trying to hitch the cart up in front of the horse. We unschoolers are finally learning the way it should be done.


Dawn (in NS)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mary

From: <Sanguinegirl83@...>

<<This is something that bothers me a lot. I try to teach Wyl that we
shouldn't
care what other people think of us (well, maybe family), but when I go to
teach him how his behavior in public makes me embarrassed, the only thing I
can
think of is"what do you think people will think of me as a parent", and then
I
have nothing to say! LOL P"lease don't do that, it makes me feel bad" seems
to
fall on deaf ears. I tell DH that often: we have SUCH a different way of
raising our child, it is basically foreign to us. It is NOTHING like we
were
raised, and so we have nothing to "fall back on" but bad habbits and
negative
examples. I suppose we live and learn, but sometimes it is hard to see the
"exit"
when we are trapped in our "parents' ways of parenting".>>


First of all try real hard to not always think in terms of teaching. It
really will help the unschooling go along smoother. By not thinking about
teaching, you will be able to see learning happening all the time for your
son. Something that he's doing for him, not because of you.

And I was wondering what your son could possibly be doing to embarrass you?
When I go out I often have all 3 younger children with me. They are 9, 8 and
3. They can get oh so goofy and silly and wound up when out. I can't say
I've ever been embarrassed by them though. They're kids!! That's what kids
do. And they happen to be loud kids so most of what they say is well heard!
My 3 year old was walking down the aisle of Walmart the other day and loudly
announced that "oh oh, I'm about to fart!"

Mary B

Robyn Coburn

<<My 3 year old was walking down the aisle of Walmart the other day and
loudly announced that "oh oh, I'm about to fart!">>

Oh you get a warning! We get, "Did you hear that fart? It's so stinky!!!"

Robyn L. Coburn

---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.658 / Virus Database: 421 - Release Date: 4/9/2004

Mary

From: "Robyn Coburn" <dezigna@...>

<< Oh you get a warning! We get, "Did you hear that fart? It's so
stinky!!!">>


LOL!!! Oh you just gotta love them!!!

Mary B

Danielle Conger

Sang wrote: At any rate, I guess what I am asking for is some stories about
unschooling
preschoolers/kindergardeners. We don't have to notify until he the September
after he turns 6, and I'd like to feel a bit more comfortable that I'm ...
capable? I'm not sure that's the word I want, but I want that confidence
before I
actually have to worry about the official "now we are homeschooling" thing,
so
that if I have any problems with my superintendent, I won't have the poor
confidence looming over my shoulder when I stand up for my rights.
==========================

Hi Sang,

I've been away for a while, which is why I didn't respond earlier. I have 3
young kids--6, 5 and almost 4. This is my second year of *officially*
unschooling, though I feel it's a natural extension of my parenting and, in
a sense, something I've just been doing all along.

Please, feel free to check out my website (link below), which has several
pages and a link to my blog. I've got lots of stories there about what *our*
unschooling looks like on a daily basis and how it translates into schoolish
learning. You might find it helpful--or not! *g*

--Danielle

http://www.danielleconger.com/Homeschool/Welcomehome.html