Elizabeth Hill

** We don't want to spend a lot of time talking about specific state laws
and how to satisfy them, but people do unschool in every state, somehow
or another. **

At the unschooling.com website, one can select "Message Boards" from the
menu on the left and then go to "How to Meet Your State Requirementes".
There's a lot of good stuff accumulated there about how people really
deal with the education requirements in each state.

NHEN is a great source for people who want to see the details of their
state's laws. Their resources for finding local support groups are also
really helpful.

Betsy

[email protected]

My name is Pamela and I have been reading for a while now and I must say that

I am impressed with the list. I am intrigued by the views and opinions
offered here and I feel stronger in my decision to homeschool/unschool.

I am the proud MaMa of Andrew, 6 and Mason, 2. These two amazing people
changed my life and that of my dh from long before their births. I knew from
day
one that I wanted to stay home and homeschool. I lost my courage somewhere
along the line and I am not so proud to say that Andrew is in Kindergarten.
We
debated and debated and visited schools, private, church-based, etc. We
finally settled on a fundamental school, which I really haven't had any
"problems"
with, other than the fact that I just know it's wrong. Which, I guess is a
BIG problem.

Thanks for the response thus far and I totally agree.

I have NO idea how this got sent when it was in my Mail Waiting To Be Sent
folder, but now that I am back on track, I'd like to continue. I am definitely
going to submit my Notice of Intent for next year and I almost feel as if I
should do it now, but I feel that since we did it thus far, that we should
finish it. We had always talked about homeschooling and Andrew has asked me
several times throughout this year why we aren't doing it. We tell him the truth,
that we were not sure if it was something we could do and hope that he was
learning all he should (is there even a "should know" stage?). But I also asked
him if he wanted to keep going and he said yes and asked if it would be ok if
he stayed home some days when he didn't want to go, and of course this was
answered yes as well. Well, this past Monday, a letter was sent home saying that
Andrew had 5 excused absences but if it continues that we would have to get
together to make a plan for better attendance. I was upset because he was so
upset. He asked me to tell him what it was about and he was upset because he
felt they were mad at him. I told him that they weren't but that schools just
want the kids to be there everyday, on time, blah blah blah. He said, "Well,
when it's so nice out, I don't wanna go," and "Mason gets lonely without me and
I need to be here sometimes." And the conversation went like that for a
while. What would others do? I feel tied up about this. He's there for 3 hours,
only 2 of which are probably even useful. But when we made this decision we
thought this was the best school if we're gonna do school at all, but didn't
realize that since it is so far away and we have to all get ready, this has put
Mason on a schedule and he ends up spending half the day getting ready to go
and stuck in the van, and then ready to go again to pick Andrew up. I just
don't know.

Unschooling was something I had heard of and the idea was and is exhilarating
but my state seems too strict, too much red tape, they require testing each
year. I don't understand how the state can require testing each year but in
school they are only tested in certain grades. I had read all the stuff on
Sandra's site about testing and so I looked up some resources to get tests and
came across an interesting thing. The Seton site says you may not read the test
to your child, that it should be completed with their knowledge only. WHAT!!!!
How can a non-reading child take a test without help? You are only supposed
to show them the basics, like filling in all the little circles and then they
are on their for each timed exercise. Is there anyway around this? Are
there any unschoolers in VA that have been down this road? I am truely a newbie
and I want so much to succeed in this, because I'd like nothing more than to go
back to life before Kindergarten and just let my children be kids and learn
their own way in their own time, by their own means.


Thanks for all your support thus far, the list is AMAZING!!

Pamela



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/19/04 11:19:55 AM, b229d655@... writes:

<< The Seton site says you may not read the test
to your child, that it should be completed with their knowledge only.
WHAT!!!! >>

That is if you want the scores to be as accurate a reflection of what he
knows as it can be (which is rarely too accurate).

If you just want to fulfill the letter of the law without getting the
negative effects of testing, you'll probably need to ignore the precise directions
for giving the tests. <g>

<<You are only supposed
to show them the basics, like filling in all the little circles and then they
are on their for each timed exercise. Is there anyway around this?>>

I think you should read my page again.
http://sandradodd.com/tests

<< am truely a newbie
and I want so much to succeed in this, because I'd like nothing more than to
go
back to life before Kindergarten and just let my children be kids >>

Life after kindergarten starts when he stops going. How long is he going to
keep going? <g>

Sandra

queenjane555

--- In [email protected], b229d655@c... wrote:
> I am truely a newbie and I want so much to succeed in this,
>because I'd like nothing more than to go back to life before
>Kindergarten and just let my children be kids and learn
> their own way in their own time, by their own means.

It sounds like you really don't want your son to be in school, and
from what you wrote he wouldnt mind not going anymore either. I know
you said that when you asked him if he wanted to finish out the year,
he said "yes" but i wonder if thats how he really feels, or maybe if
he needs "permission" from you that it really is ok not to go back.

I pulled my son out of first grade in December, every day was
torture. The torture was in the little things (having to get up and
get ready by a certain time, having to follow all the little inane
rules that schools have, etc)...i'd already stopped making him (or
even reminding him!)to do homework. Now that my son is home...oh
my...life is great. It is an incredible weight lifted off of you and
your child when you realize "We don't have to deal with it anymore!"
IMO finishing the next two or three months of kindergarten is not
worth the impact on the family each day of going can cause, and in
five years you'll look back and wonder how you ever thought it
mattered to "finish out the school year."

I know sometimes its hard to leave things unfinished, esp when its so
close to "being done" (in my son's case he just never went back, and
didnt say goodbye to anyone at the school, or even get his
stuff)....but i have to say that my only regret about pulling my son
out of school is that i waited so long to do it.


Katherine

Jon and Rue Kream

>>What would others do?

**I'd pull him today. My daughter went to kindergarten, and I'd do a
lot to have those days back with her. You can read our story at
http://www.pandorasboxmag.com/ in the article titled Flashes of Color,
Faces and Light, if you'd like.

>>I'd like nothing more than to go
back to life before Kindergarten and just let my children be kids and
learn
their own way in their own time, by their own means.

**You can, and you can do it right this minute if you choose to.

>>my state seems too strict, too much red tape, they require testing
each year.

**People unschool in every state. You can make it work, and I'm sure
someone from VA will be around to give you some advice. If not, check
out the Across the Continent section of the message boards at
http://www.unschooling.com/ . ~Rue



<http://www.unschooling.com/discus/messages/523/523.html?ridayMarch19200
40136pm>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<I need to be here sometimes." And the conversation went like that for a
while. What would others do? >>

Pull him out of school "for now" (after all summer is just around the
corner). Do what you need to do to get legal. Join your local support group
for playdates. Do the hard mental work you need to do to get schoolish
language and thinking out of your head. (see SandraDodd.com for immense
assistance in that area). Never look back.

<<The Seton site says you may not read the test
to your child, that it should be completed with their knowledge only.....
Is there anyway around this? >>

Yes - *totally ignore* the instructions on the website. The test is a
service you are paying for. You are in charge not "them".
Also let go of any notion of "cheating" and realize that you are being
coerced by the government into an educational practice with which you do not
agree (ie the spurious need to test) and accept that all you are doing is
jumping through some hoops and you can adjust the height off the ground to
make it as painless as possible.

Alternatively have him fill the circles at random and never look at the
score.

Robyn L. Coburn

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Brian and Kathy Stamp

Your article was beautiful and touching.

Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: Jon and Rue Kream
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 2:43 PM
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Intro Continued OOPS! (Got Sent without Finishing)


>>What would others do?

**I'd pull him today. My daughter went to kindergarten, and I'd do a
lot to have those days back with her. You can read our story at
http://www.pandorasboxmag.com/ in the article titled Flashes of Color,
Faces and Light, if you'd like.

>>I'd like nothing more than to go
back to life before Kindergarten and just let my children be kids and
learn
their own way in their own time, by their own means.

**You can, and you can do it right this minute if you choose to.

>>my state seems too strict, too much red tape, they require testing
each year.

**People unschool in every state. You can make it work, and I'm sure
someone from VA will be around to give you some advice. If not, check
out the Across the Continent section of the message boards at
http://www.unschooling.com/ . ~Rue



<http://www.unschooling.com/discus/messages/523/523.html?ridayMarch19200
40136pm>


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[email protected]

In a message dated 3/19/2004 1:46:48 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
> Life after kindergarten starts when he stops going. How long is he going
> to
> keep going? <g>
>
I will definitely look over your site again, it has been very helpful, I
guess I'm just not happy about having to test at all, I'd like to know what he's
learned throughout his explorations but I don't think the state needs to know
that and from what I've seen of these tests they don't measure anything
realistically.

That is so true that it will start anew after I pull him out, but he wants to
go and that is my problem right now, I don't know if I should just end it or
finish it cuz there's only 11 weeks left.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/19/2004 4:56:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:

>Alternatively have him fill the circles at random and never look at the
> score.
>
>
> I feel that way too but unfortunately if he doesn't score good enough they
> supposedly put you on "probation" and if he doesn't improve they make you put
> him back in school.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


[email protected]

In a message dated 3/19/2004 3:45:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
skreams@... writes:
> Flashes of Color,
> Faces and Light

Amazing article and truly touching. I feel a lot of those things on my side
too. I have always felt that I had my children because I wanted to raise
them, not send them off to some school/babysitter/or daycare to be raised by
others with vastly different opinions and backgrounds. And at the tender age of 5
small years!!!!! But I did it and fortunately for me, Andrew is a very
outgoing child and has seemingly enjoyed most of Kindergarten. That is my dilemma
now, we are a family on Saturday and Sunday. Monday thru Friday feels like we
are just functioning but not living. We used to live 24/7 but I feel I am
holding my breath until Friday afternoon. Our school district even took one of
those Saturdays for a snow make-up day and that was the hardest day yet. And
they may have to do more, they have added a day or two at the end of the year
as well. Thanks for sharing, each new thing is helping me. And I like that
website.

Pamela


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robyn Coburn

<<now, we are a family on Saturday and Sunday. Monday thru Friday feels
like we are just functioning but not living. We used to live 24/7 but I
feel I am holding my breath until Friday afternoon. Our school district
even took one of those Saturdays for a snow make-up day and that was the
hardest day yet. And they may have to do more, they have added a day or two
at the end of the year as well. Thanks for sharing, each new thing is
helping me. And I like that website.>>

You are allowing "them" to have all the power in your lives, and it is
causing you pain that seems to be more revealed with every post. 100% of the
people who post about pulling their kids out, on this list and other
non-unschooling lists, say the same thing: They wish they had done it
sooner. If, in the immensely unlikely event, it doesn't work out, schools
will still be there next session, next year, next lifetime.
Robyn L. Coburn


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Robyn Coburn

> I feel that way too but unfortunately if he doesn't score good enough they

> supposedly put you on "probation" and if he doesn't improve they make you
put him back in school.>>

First of all, if you are getting your information from any source that makes
it's money supporting the school system, including the testing sites,
college prep tutoring organizations, and the local Department of Education,
you will find that the language although legal in the letter of the law is
probably skewed on the side of creating fear and preserving the status quo.
Even the word "probation", with it's connotations of criminality, is a clue.
If you go to the NHEN website and click on Legal and Legislative Info, you
find that the statutes for VA include the portfolio option, individual
assessments or standardized tests.
Talk to others actually in your state - NHEN is another useful source for
those also. There are a number of folks from VA on this list, and several of
them have mentioned their unschooling friendly evaluators. "Making you" put
your child back in school against your will is a lot harder than "they"
would like you to believe, and takes years, not terms. BTW most of the
statutes talk about the child "showing progress" each year - how can a free,
happy child with engaged caring parents not show progress? It is not about
re-creating the "results" of a school year since you are out of the bell
curve.
The more fear testing generates in you, the faster you should run to other
methods of review - so that the idea of tests does not become an all
powerful boogeyman in the minds of your kids. I don't do too much school
bashing (fish in a barrel), but there is a time and place for almost
everything so here goes - Schools as an entity, have a vested interest in
making that which is natural, simple and easy, seem difficult and
non-intuitive. Reading is the classic example of this concept. Tests are
supposed to be scary, important and full of dire consequences. Don't buy
into it. Tests can be a fun thing IF the motivations are internal and
individual. People choose to test themselves all the time - for REAL skills
or abilities or learning opportunities.
Robyn L. Coburn



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pam sorooshian

On Mar 19, 2004, at 10:53 PM, Robyn Coburn wrote:

> The more fear testing generates in you, the faster you should run to
> other
> methods of review

We don't want to spend a lot of time talking about specific state laws
and how to satisfy them, but people do unschool in every state, somehow
or another. For example, Virginia homeschool law provides options and
testing is only one of them. If people want to unschool in some states,
they're going to have to be a little more clever, work a little harder
to not get sucked into the requirements. What Virginia law requires is
"evidence of progress" such as independent assessment, standardized
test scores or a portfolio review or anything the district
superintendent is satisfied with. Just like in every other state, what
is important is to get into contact with other unschoolers in that
state (or even in that district, if possible) and find out what they do
- maybe they do independent assessments - maybe you can find an
evaluator who is unschooling friendly. I'm not sure that the evaluator
even has to be in your state - I wonder if you could use Clonlara -
they are VERY unschooling friendly and may already have worked in your
state and have already prepared materials to satisfy the state
standards and still allow you to unschool.

This list is really for talking about living an unschooling life -
talking about legal issues could take up ALL our time and we usually
try to move people away from that pretty quickly. However, again, I
want you to feel encouraged because there are definitely ways you can
unschool, no matter what state requirements you have to deal with.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Marjorie Kirk

<<now, we are a family on Saturday and Sunday. Monday thru Friday feels
like we are just functioning but not living. We used to live 24/7 but I
feel I am holding my breath until Friday afternoon. Our school district
even took one of those Saturdays for a snow make-up day and that was the
hardest day yet. And they may have to do more, they have added a day or two
at the end of the year as well. Thanks for sharing, each new thing is
helping me. And I like that website.>>


They aren't really "taking" those days, you are giving them to them. Big
distinction. Even if your son wants to finish the year, he doesn't have to
go every day. Especially a Saturday!

Marjorie

Brian and Kathy Stamp

"Our school district even took one of those Saturdays for a snow make-up day and that was the hardest day yet."

They did that here too. Why on earth would you send him for that? What happens if he misses to many days? I know they probably threaten to retain him another year. Well if he's not going back then who cares?????

Even if you never planned to unschool or homeschool, this is "K" you are talking about. What does it matter if he misses a day, a week, a month?


Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: b229d655@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 7:34 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Intro Continued OOPS! (Got Sent without Finishing)


In a message dated 3/19/2004 3:45:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
skreams@... writes:
> Flashes of Color,
> Faces and Light

Amazing article and truly touching. I feel a lot of those things on my side
too. I have always felt that I had my children because I wanted to raise
them, not send them off to some school/babysitter/or daycare to be raised by
others with vastly different opinions and backgrounds. And at the tender age of 5
small years!!!!! But I did it and fortunately for me, Andrew is a very
outgoing child and has seemingly enjoyed most of Kindergarten. That is my dilemma
now, we are a family on Saturday and Sunday. Monday thru Friday feels like we
are just functioning but not living. We used to live 24/7 but I feel I am
holding my breath until Friday afternoon. Our school district even took one of
those Saturdays for a snow make-up day and that was the hardest day yet. And
they may have to do more, they have added a day or two at the end of the year
as well. Thanks for sharing, each new thing is helping me. And I like that
website.

Pamela


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tracey Inman

"Our school district even took one of those Saturdays for a snow make-up day
and that was the hardest day yet."

My daughter missed 54 days of 5-K. Her first grade teacher thought she was
going to be some dumby and was shock at the fact she was top in the class.
We took off whenever we wanted and played, traveled, etc. 5-K isn't
required in SC and probably isn't in your state either. I wouldn't stress
over this. BTW, I too wish I had taken my two girls out sooner than I did.
I resonate with the holding your breathe until Friday and just trying to
function through the week. Life is too good to waste! Free yourself!

Tracey I.



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pam sorooshian

On Mar 20, 2004, at 5:36 AM, Tracey Inman wrote:

> My daughter missed 54 days of 5-K. Her first grade teacher thought
> she was
> going to be some dumby and was shock at the fact she was top in the
> class.
> We took off whenever we wanted and played, traveled, etc. 5-K isn't
> required in SC and probably isn't in your state either.

Be careful about this. It isn't required in California, either, but
once you enroll in Kindergarten it IS required to attend or the child
is truant and they have SPECIAL anti-truancy catch-them-early programs
aimed at kindergarten. If you miss too many days in k, they target you
in first grade and they go after you very very quickly for truancy -
straight to the district attorney, not even through the normal school
attendance review board channels. Only some districts participate in
this special program - but they are relentless. I know someone whose
child was seriously ill - chronically ill. She tried to send her to
kindergarten, but had many bouts of lengthy absence due to
hospitalizations. She also let her daughter not go when she didn't feel
like it because she never knew when she was getting sick or not. In
first grade the first time her daughter was absent they sent a truancy
report to the district attorney who contacted her and said they were
going to ask for a court order to require her to send her child to
school. They GOT it and the court ordered that even if her child was
sick she had to take her in to be examined there at the school. The
ONLY exception was if she had chickenpox. I met her at that time
because she tried to pull her child all the way out of school and
homeschool her. But- once the court is involved they have so much
jurisdiction it is amazing - she had to get their permission otherwise
she'd be in violation of the court order. So - be careful about
assuming that just because kindergarten is not mandatory that you can
just choose to go or not.

-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

Tracey Inman

Pam wrote:

>Be careful about this. It isn't required in California, either, but
once you enroll in Kindergarten it IS required to attend or the child
is truant and they have SPECIAL anti-truancy catch-them-early programs
aimed at kindergarten<

Didn't mean to lead anyone a stray. When my daughter was in K it really
didn't matter how many days you missed. I asked a school official and they
told me it didn't matter how many days she was absent since it was not
required. I know things change over time and that was 6 years ago.

Tracey I.




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Have a Nice Day!

Here in PA, if you enroll in K, and then withdraw, you still don't have to report until age 8.

But if your child attends first grade in a public school, and you withdraw to homeschool, you *do* have to report, even if your child isn't 8 yet.

Dumb huh?

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Tracey Inman
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, March 20, 2004 10:18 PM
Subject: RE: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Intro Continued OOPS! (Got Sent without Finishing)


Pam wrote:

>Be careful about this. It isn't required in California, either, but
once you enroll in Kindergarten it IS required to attend or the child
is truant and they have SPECIAL anti-truancy catch-them-early programs
aimed at kindergarten<

Didn't mean to lead anyone a stray. When my daughter was in K it really
didn't matter how many days you missed. I asked a school official and they
told me it didn't matter how many days she was absent since it was not
required. I know things change over time and that was 6 years ago.

Tracey I.




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[email protected]

In a message dated 3/19/04 5:35:12 PM, b229d655@... writes:

<< I will definitely look over your site again, it has been very helpful, I
guess I'm just not happy about having to test at all, I'd like to know what
he's
learned throughout his explorations but I don't think the state needs to know
that and from what I've seen of these tests they don't measure anything
realistically. >>

That's the whole point of invalidating the tests by taking/administering them
"wrong." Then you and the child are both certain that it didn't even begin
to measure anything realistically.

http://sandradodd.com/tests

<<That is so true that it will start anew after I pull him out, but he wants
to
go and that is my problem right now, I don't know if I should just end it or
finish it cuz there's only 11 weeks left.>>

Neither school nor homeschooling starts off on a good foot with a child who
doesn't want to be there. If he wants to be in school and you pull him out,
he could resent homeschooling and idealize school.

Sandra