Food-related question
Erika Nunn
Hello - I am new to this group, and although I read that I should wait a
couple weeks to post and to get a feel for the group, I just couldn't hold
back as I have a burning question. Well, it's burning to me, at least. :)
Here's the deal. I believe that I have made food and eating into an issue
with my two children, ages 3 and 4. We do try to eat healthy, although I am
fine with sugar or junk foods at times. The problem with me is that I worry
about their health, and want to make sure that they eat enough vegetables
and fruit (no issues with any other foods). I started out fine with making
broccoli into trees or playing silly games so they will eat fruit, and it
was all fun. I did this because if I don't do anything, it seems that they
just won't eat fruits and vegetables (or at least very little). Now though
they are into icecream sometimes for dessert (a good non-sugary kind), so I
will say that they cannot have any until they eat all their vegetables, or
food. (The games lost their appeal after awhile.)
To make a long story short, I feel like everybody gets stressed out now
around eating. My question is, what do you guys do when it comes to food?
What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers all day?
What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream. Or what if
he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later? My instinct tells
me to just forget worrying about any of it and just let them eat whatever
they want (just keep the options healthy) and after a few weeks they will
just kind of regain their personal control over eating. SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? I think you
are all getting my point here, so I will just stop now... :)
Thank you!
Erika
_________________________________________________________________
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couple weeks to post and to get a feel for the group, I just couldn't hold
back as I have a burning question. Well, it's burning to me, at least. :)
Here's the deal. I believe that I have made food and eating into an issue
with my two children, ages 3 and 4. We do try to eat healthy, although I am
fine with sugar or junk foods at times. The problem with me is that I worry
about their health, and want to make sure that they eat enough vegetables
and fruit (no issues with any other foods). I started out fine with making
broccoli into trees or playing silly games so they will eat fruit, and it
was all fun. I did this because if I don't do anything, it seems that they
just won't eat fruits and vegetables (or at least very little). Now though
they are into icecream sometimes for dessert (a good non-sugary kind), so I
will say that they cannot have any until they eat all their vegetables, or
food. (The games lost their appeal after awhile.)
To make a long story short, I feel like everybody gets stressed out now
around eating. My question is, what do you guys do when it comes to food?
What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers all day?
What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream. Or what if
he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later? My instinct tells
me to just forget worrying about any of it and just let them eat whatever
they want (just keep the options healthy) and after a few weeks they will
just kind of regain their personal control over eating. SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? I think you
are all getting my point here, so I will just stop now... :)
Thank you!
Erika
_________________________________________________________________
Get reliable dial-up Internet access now with our limited-time introductory
offer. http://join.msn.com/?page=dept/dialup
Elizabeth Roberts
Erica,
I give my children vitamins to help make sure they are getting what they need. But I don't stress about their eating. I make plenty of healthy options available, and they will eat those. Other than that, I've noticed if I am not forcing the issue they will eat healthily most of the time. They know what they like and don't like, and forcing them to eat something "for their health" only makes us all stressed out.
As long as they are growing physically and are active, let them be! And remember, they have much smaller stomachs than we do and don't need to eat as much although they need to eat more often. We hardly ever sit down to "meals" together, because they're all on different "timeclocks." But when they are hungry, they eat. When I'm hungry, I eat. But I try to sit at the table with them while they are eating, even if I'm not eating so that we are together even if it's not in a traditional-meal-everyone-at-the-table kind of way.
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
Why not?!
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I give my children vitamins to help make sure they are getting what they need. But I don't stress about their eating. I make plenty of healthy options available, and they will eat those. Other than that, I've noticed if I am not forcing the issue they will eat healthily most of the time. They know what they like and don't like, and forcing them to eat something "for their health" only makes us all stressed out.
As long as they are growing physically and are active, let them be! And remember, they have much smaller stomachs than we do and don't need to eat as much although they need to eat more often. We hardly ever sit down to "meals" together, because they're all on different "timeclocks." But when they are hungry, they eat. When I'm hungry, I eat. But I try to sit at the table with them while they are eating, even if I'm not eating so that we are together even if it's not in a traditional-meal-everyone-at-the-table kind of way.
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
Why not?!
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/2004 9:12:01 AM Eastern Standard Time,
erikanunn@... writes:
life is more pleasant..
I say YES more often. ( sometimes even ice cream for breakfast! <<G<<).
I also make sure I have more healthy things in the house to choose from.
I view it as as long as they have adequate nutrition in a 48 hr period..who
cares WHEN they eat certain foods. It also gives us a chance to talk about
heathy and non-healthy foods and proper nutrition for growing bodies <<G>>.
I'll often offer a plate of veggies and "dip" or cheese and crackers and
other healthy snacks while they are playing , reading ,watching a video, etc.
~Marcia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
erikanunn@... writes:
> My question is, what do you guys do when it comes to food?I'm fairly new to unschooling but I have changed my ways regarding food and
> What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers all day?
> What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream. Or what if
> he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later?
life is more pleasant..
I say YES more often. ( sometimes even ice cream for breakfast! <<G<<).
I also make sure I have more healthy things in the house to choose from.
I view it as as long as they have adequate nutrition in a 48 hr period..who
cares WHEN they eat certain foods. It also gives us a chance to talk about
heathy and non-healthy foods and proper nutrition for growing bodies <<G>>.
I'll often offer a plate of veggies and "dip" or cheese and crackers and
other healthy snacks while they are playing , reading ,watching a video, etc.
~Marcia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/04 7:12:14 AM, erikanunn@... writes:
<< Hello - I am new to this group, and although I read that I should wait a
couple weeks to post and to get a feel for the group, I just couldn't hold
back as I have a burning question. Well, it's burning to me, at least. :) >>
Hi. I'm a moderator-type. <g>
I've let the question through, but please go easy on your responses and
judgment of the feedback you receive until you have read more and longer. If what
you read surprises you, just go with that feeling and try not to be defensive,
please.
<<The problem with me is that I worry
about their health, and want to make sure that they eat enough vegetables
and fruit (no issues with any other foods). I started out fine with making
broccoli into trees or playing silly games so they will eat fruit, and it
was all fun.>>
Do you have a juicer?
<< Now though
they are into icecream sometimes for dessert (a good non-sugary kind), so I
will say that they cannot have any until they eat all their vegetables, or
food. (The games lost their appeal after awhile.)>>
Vegetables are being turned to punishment, and ice cream is being turned to
gold.
I don't think you'll like the result of that.
<<To make a long story short, I feel like everybody gets stressed out now
around eating. >>
You were pre-stressed, and you passed it on to them.
Maybe they're young enough that if you change directions, they'll recover.
If you don't change, you're pretty well guaranteed to give them some
life-long stress and food issues that will be worse than a lack of some vegetable
input.
Think of people in natural circumstances, without world-wide re-distribution
of bananas and potatoes and carrots. What would grow where you live? How much
of the year could you get it? There are few natural environments in which
people will have fruit and vegetables every day all year unless they're wealthy,
and if they were wealthy enough to have them, their servants and farm workers
wouldn't always have them. Nobody in New Mexico ever had a banana before
there were highways and trucks (or unless they had travelled south and tasted
one where it lived).
[Just as an aside, I've heard that when they did some of the archeological
digs at the side of the Thames in London a few years ago, they found a banana
peel from the 16th century (I think; maybe 17th). That's pretty remarkable. I
bet it didn't look so good even when it was new, and there was no proof
anyone ate it. <g> Four months on a ship, at least? If anyone here knows more of
that story, I'm interested.]
<<What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers all day? >>
I would let her. She wouldn't eat nothing but that for a week. When she's
tired of it she'll want something else. But have you ever given a child the
opportunity to eat freely? It doesn't sound like it from your account. If you
let her choose her own food, I can't imagine that she would want just one
thing all day, unless it was in response to months or years of frustration.
<<What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream. >>
What if you gave him the ice cream first?
<<What if my son refuses to eat dinner>>
Why would you give him food he didn't want?
<<Or what if
he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later? >>
If he isn't hungry and you try to feed him, and then when he's hungry you
refuse, it seems you care more about the clock than the child.
<<My instinct tells
me to just forget worrying about any of it and just let them eat whatever
they want (just keep the options healthy) and after a few weeks they will
just kind of regain their personal control over eating. >>
Good instincts, in my opinion and experience.
<<SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? >>
Provide more options, model (there are parents who hate vegetables but still
try to force their children to eat them), get pizza, make sandwiches, fun
salads, raw vegetables with ranch dip... stuff like that.
And more than that, look with new eyes and don't worry so much.
Here's the beginning of a collection of things I should really work on some
more. I have some good writings saved, but haven't gotten to this page the way
I need to:
http://sandradodd.com/food
Sandra
<< Hello - I am new to this group, and although I read that I should wait a
couple weeks to post and to get a feel for the group, I just couldn't hold
back as I have a burning question. Well, it's burning to me, at least. :) >>
Hi. I'm a moderator-type. <g>
I've let the question through, but please go easy on your responses and
judgment of the feedback you receive until you have read more and longer. If what
you read surprises you, just go with that feeling and try not to be defensive,
please.
<<The problem with me is that I worry
about their health, and want to make sure that they eat enough vegetables
and fruit (no issues with any other foods). I started out fine with making
broccoli into trees or playing silly games so they will eat fruit, and it
was all fun.>>
Do you have a juicer?
<< Now though
they are into icecream sometimes for dessert (a good non-sugary kind), so I
will say that they cannot have any until they eat all their vegetables, or
food. (The games lost their appeal after awhile.)>>
Vegetables are being turned to punishment, and ice cream is being turned to
gold.
I don't think you'll like the result of that.
<<To make a long story short, I feel like everybody gets stressed out now
around eating. >>
You were pre-stressed, and you passed it on to them.
Maybe they're young enough that if you change directions, they'll recover.
If you don't change, you're pretty well guaranteed to give them some
life-long stress and food issues that will be worse than a lack of some vegetable
input.
Think of people in natural circumstances, without world-wide re-distribution
of bananas and potatoes and carrots. What would grow where you live? How much
of the year could you get it? There are few natural environments in which
people will have fruit and vegetables every day all year unless they're wealthy,
and if they were wealthy enough to have them, their servants and farm workers
wouldn't always have them. Nobody in New Mexico ever had a banana before
there were highways and trucks (or unless they had travelled south and tasted
one where it lived).
[Just as an aside, I've heard that when they did some of the archeological
digs at the side of the Thames in London a few years ago, they found a banana
peel from the 16th century (I think; maybe 17th). That's pretty remarkable. I
bet it didn't look so good even when it was new, and there was no proof
anyone ate it. <g> Four months on a ship, at least? If anyone here knows more of
that story, I'm interested.]
<<What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers all day? >>
I would let her. She wouldn't eat nothing but that for a week. When she's
tired of it she'll want something else. But have you ever given a child the
opportunity to eat freely? It doesn't sound like it from your account. If you
let her choose her own food, I can't imagine that she would want just one
thing all day, unless it was in response to months or years of frustration.
<<What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream. >>
What if you gave him the ice cream first?
<<What if my son refuses to eat dinner>>
Why would you give him food he didn't want?
<<Or what if
he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later? >>
If he isn't hungry and you try to feed him, and then when he's hungry you
refuse, it seems you care more about the clock than the child.
<<My instinct tells
me to just forget worrying about any of it and just let them eat whatever
they want (just keep the options healthy) and after a few weeks they will
just kind of regain their personal control over eating. >>
Good instincts, in my opinion and experience.
<<SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? >>
Provide more options, model (there are parents who hate vegetables but still
try to force their children to eat them), get pizza, make sandwiches, fun
salads, raw vegetables with ranch dip... stuff like that.
And more than that, look with new eyes and don't worry so much.
Here's the beginning of a collection of things I should really work on some
more. I have some good writings saved, but haven't gotten to this page the way
I need to:
http://sandradodd.com/food
Sandra
catherine aceto
Original post:
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
************************************************************************
Not to be picky, but if you are "letting" them have ice-cream for breakfast as a treat -- are they really getting to make the food choices?
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
************************************************************************
Not to be picky, but if you are "letting" them have ice-cream for breakfast as a treat -- are they really getting to make the food choices?
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wife2Vegman
--- Erika Nunn <erikanunn@...> wrote:
Your children are sooo little. You still have total
control over what is available to eat, even if you let
them choose whatever they want in the house.
Is the issue that they are eating food that is
unhealthy, or food that strikes you as strange? Let
them have soup for breakfast, pancakes for dinner.
If your daughter eats goldfish all day for three days,
she will get tired of them. And if she eats them all
gone, but you aren't running to the store, she will
eat something else until you go.
The strewing principle can be applied to the food
issue as well.
Little kids are much more interested in playing and
running around and such than fixing themselves
something, so why not just keep prepared good
nutritious snacks that they can get to easily?
Leave these things on a "snack shelf" in the fridge
and pantry:
Celery sticks with peanut butter
Crackers and cheese
string cheese
apple wedges or baby carrot sticks
individual servings of applesauce
fruit leather
juice boxes or capri sun pouches
trail mix or cracker jacks
salsa and chips
Do you sit down and eat with them or are they mostly
eating alone? Modelling good eating habits can go a
long way. I know when I am really enjoying something,
that will be when my kids start pirating the food on
my plate ;-) Everything tastes better off mom's
plate.
Have a picnic with them on the living room floor.
Pull out a blanket, make cute little sandwiches, some
fresh fruit already sliced, some cookies, and juice.
Read books like "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much
Junk Food". Great book that isn't "preachy". Worked
for my kids.
Introduce them to chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, ice
cream with peanut butter, gooey granola bars, and
fruit smoothies.
Get them busy helping you fix dinner, if they are
interested, maybe as a treat for Dad when he gets home
from work.
When you go to the store, let them choose a favorite
candy bar or snack.
If they aren't hungry for dinner, then enjoy a
candlelit supper with your hubby alone! Although
every time I put candles on the table, suddenly
everyone wants to "dine" there.
=====
--Susan in VA
WifetoVegman
What is most important and valuable about the home as a base for children's growth into the world is not that it is a better school than the schools, but that it isn't a school at all. John Holt
__________________________________
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> SO, I guess myErika,
> question is, when letting your kids have full
> control over the food, do they
> eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do
> you do? I think you
> are all getting my point here, so I will just stop
> now... :)
>
> Thank you!
> Erika
Your children are sooo little. You still have total
control over what is available to eat, even if you let
them choose whatever they want in the house.
Is the issue that they are eating food that is
unhealthy, or food that strikes you as strange? Let
them have soup for breakfast, pancakes for dinner.
If your daughter eats goldfish all day for three days,
she will get tired of them. And if she eats them all
gone, but you aren't running to the store, she will
eat something else until you go.
The strewing principle can be applied to the food
issue as well.
Little kids are much more interested in playing and
running around and such than fixing themselves
something, so why not just keep prepared good
nutritious snacks that they can get to easily?
Leave these things on a "snack shelf" in the fridge
and pantry:
Celery sticks with peanut butter
Crackers and cheese
string cheese
apple wedges or baby carrot sticks
individual servings of applesauce
fruit leather
juice boxes or capri sun pouches
trail mix or cracker jacks
salsa and chips
Do you sit down and eat with them or are they mostly
eating alone? Modelling good eating habits can go a
long way. I know when I am really enjoying something,
that will be when my kids start pirating the food on
my plate ;-) Everything tastes better off mom's
plate.
Have a picnic with them on the living room floor.
Pull out a blanket, make cute little sandwiches, some
fresh fruit already sliced, some cookies, and juice.
Read books like "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much
Junk Food". Great book that isn't "preachy". Worked
for my kids.
Introduce them to chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, ice
cream with peanut butter, gooey granola bars, and
fruit smoothies.
Get them busy helping you fix dinner, if they are
interested, maybe as a treat for Dad when he gets home
from work.
When you go to the store, let them choose a favorite
candy bar or snack.
If they aren't hungry for dinner, then enjoy a
candlelit supper with your hubby alone! Although
every time I put candles on the table, suddenly
everyone wants to "dine" there.
=====
--Susan in VA
WifetoVegman
What is most important and valuable about the home as a base for children's growth into the world is not that it is a better school than the schools, but that it isn't a school at all. John Holt
__________________________________
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catherine aceto
ORIGINAL POST:
SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? I think you
are all getting my point here, so I will just stop now... :)
Thank you!
Erika
*******************************************************************
Yes, if you let them control what they eat, they will eat what they need. If you feel worried about it - offer them a kids-multi-vitamin every day. Probably good advice anyway. We all take multivitamins here (except the baby!)
Remember how little a kid's stomach holds -- a sensible child may well figure out that if she wants to be able to eat enough ice-cream after dinner, she should skip dinner to leave some room. Have ice-cream available whenever she wants it and she will stop skipping dinner to have room for the ice-cream during its limited availability.
However, there may be days when they eat nothing but goldfish and you have to be prepared for that. In my experience, the balance happens over weeks, not days and certainly not meals.
We've never restricted Lydia's food, so I have no experience with how long the de-food-controlling stage might last. While they are figuring out if you are serious, there may be weeks where they eat nothing but goldfish - and you need to be prepared for that. But eventually if goldfish or candy or whatever are just another food in the house, they should stop having an artificial attraction for your children. This whole paragraph about what happens if you control food and then stop is just theory for me, though, so you should pay more attention to anyone who has actually controlled food and then stopped.
Back to stuff I have personal experience with:
We have an candy shelf filled with whatever Lydia (6) wants to request from the grocery store -- sometimes she eats candy for breakfast and sometimes she doesn't eat any at all for a week or more. We keep the shelf locked so her 1 yo brother doesn't get into the chokeable stuff, but she can work the key and gets what she wants when she wants it.
Some "what we do" advice:
Avoid feeling like a short-order cook (this is for your own sanity): Lydia has 2 things that she will always eat - plain pasta with olive oil and soy sauce, and peas and corn mixed with nutritional yeast (yes, she invented both "recipes" lol). I make sure we always have those available -- if she doesn't like what we are having for dinner, she can always have one of those. She doens't have to eat dinner with us -- but she almost always chooses to. Also, this isn't to say that I won't fix her something other than these if she requests it. But she chooses these often enough and they are easy enough to fix that I don't feel like I am running a restaurant when I want to eat my dinner.
Kids generally come to eat what you eat: My husband and I both eat a lot of fruit -- Lydia has always wanted to share what we are eating. She frequently requests fruit when she wants a snack. Snack on baby carrots or cut-up broccoli yourself -- not making a big deal out of it -- just having a snack for yourself.
Try vegetables that kids often like: baked sweet potatoes, oven-baked french fries, corn on the cob, frozen peas (lydia used to like them still frozen!), snow peas, baby corn,
Rather than trying to make food "fun", try to make it tasty: I've never done the playing with food thing (although I know lots of people who do) -- I do try to make it taste the way she wants it too. Catsup, dips of various kinds (we love cashew butter mixed with honey as a dip for tart granny smith apples), my nieces like ranch dressing with their vegetable (although Lydia doesnt), bean dips? not-very-spicy guacamole? We drink a lot of smoothies and experiment with the different fruit/nut/combinations that we like. In the summer we freeze the smoothies into popsicles with popsicle molds.
Keep/Make stuff available for snacking/grazing throughout the day:
We keep car snacks in a tupperware in the car -- cheerios, pretzels, dried fruit, nuts and raisin, and a cereal she really likes called "puffins." When Lydia is playing I often bring her a small plate of cut-up apples or pears or kiwi or mango, etc., a bowl of nuts and raisins, a bag of baby carrots, a plate of cheese cubes, to be there if she is hungry. Now (at 6) I usually ask what/if she wants something, but at 3 or 4, I just put some stuff out.
Don't make food artificially unpleasant: I have NEVER forced Lydia to try anything. I know there is tons of advice out there about how children have to try something 50 times to like it (or soemthing like that). That hasn't been our experience. From 0 - 2 1/2, she ate everything, from 2 1/2 to 5 1/12 she ate almost no variety and didn't seek to try anything new (although she did have some non-mainstream favorites, like Nori (the seaweed wrapping around sushi) and chard cooked in tomato sauce and garlic). Now at 6, she generally wants to smell and (if it smells good) try anything that her father or I am eating.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SO, I guess my
question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food, do they
eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? I think you
are all getting my point here, so I will just stop now... :)
Thank you!
Erika
*******************************************************************
Yes, if you let them control what they eat, they will eat what they need. If you feel worried about it - offer them a kids-multi-vitamin every day. Probably good advice anyway. We all take multivitamins here (except the baby!)
Remember how little a kid's stomach holds -- a sensible child may well figure out that if she wants to be able to eat enough ice-cream after dinner, she should skip dinner to leave some room. Have ice-cream available whenever she wants it and she will stop skipping dinner to have room for the ice-cream during its limited availability.
However, there may be days when they eat nothing but goldfish and you have to be prepared for that. In my experience, the balance happens over weeks, not days and certainly not meals.
We've never restricted Lydia's food, so I have no experience with how long the de-food-controlling stage might last. While they are figuring out if you are serious, there may be weeks where they eat nothing but goldfish - and you need to be prepared for that. But eventually if goldfish or candy or whatever are just another food in the house, they should stop having an artificial attraction for your children. This whole paragraph about what happens if you control food and then stop is just theory for me, though, so you should pay more attention to anyone who has actually controlled food and then stopped.
Back to stuff I have personal experience with:
We have an candy shelf filled with whatever Lydia (6) wants to request from the grocery store -- sometimes she eats candy for breakfast and sometimes she doesn't eat any at all for a week or more. We keep the shelf locked so her 1 yo brother doesn't get into the chokeable stuff, but she can work the key and gets what she wants when she wants it.
Some "what we do" advice:
Avoid feeling like a short-order cook (this is for your own sanity): Lydia has 2 things that she will always eat - plain pasta with olive oil and soy sauce, and peas and corn mixed with nutritional yeast (yes, she invented both "recipes" lol). I make sure we always have those available -- if she doesn't like what we are having for dinner, she can always have one of those. She doens't have to eat dinner with us -- but she almost always chooses to. Also, this isn't to say that I won't fix her something other than these if she requests it. But she chooses these often enough and they are easy enough to fix that I don't feel like I am running a restaurant when I want to eat my dinner.
Kids generally come to eat what you eat: My husband and I both eat a lot of fruit -- Lydia has always wanted to share what we are eating. She frequently requests fruit when she wants a snack. Snack on baby carrots or cut-up broccoli yourself -- not making a big deal out of it -- just having a snack for yourself.
Try vegetables that kids often like: baked sweet potatoes, oven-baked french fries, corn on the cob, frozen peas (lydia used to like them still frozen!), snow peas, baby corn,
Rather than trying to make food "fun", try to make it tasty: I've never done the playing with food thing (although I know lots of people who do) -- I do try to make it taste the way she wants it too. Catsup, dips of various kinds (we love cashew butter mixed with honey as a dip for tart granny smith apples), my nieces like ranch dressing with their vegetable (although Lydia doesnt), bean dips? not-very-spicy guacamole? We drink a lot of smoothies and experiment with the different fruit/nut/combinations that we like. In the summer we freeze the smoothies into popsicles with popsicle molds.
Keep/Make stuff available for snacking/grazing throughout the day:
We keep car snacks in a tupperware in the car -- cheerios, pretzels, dried fruit, nuts and raisin, and a cereal she really likes called "puffins." When Lydia is playing I often bring her a small plate of cut-up apples or pears or kiwi or mango, etc., a bowl of nuts and raisins, a bag of baby carrots, a plate of cheese cubes, to be there if she is hungry. Now (at 6) I usually ask what/if she wants something, but at 3 or 4, I just put some stuff out.
Don't make food artificially unpleasant: I have NEVER forced Lydia to try anything. I know there is tons of advice out there about how children have to try something 50 times to like it (or soemthing like that). That hasn't been our experience. From 0 - 2 1/2, she ate everything, from 2 1/2 to 5 1/12 she ate almost no variety and didn't seek to try anything new (although she did have some non-mainstream favorites, like Nori (the seaweed wrapping around sushi) and chard cooked in tomato sauce and garlic). Now at 6, she generally wants to smell and (if it smells good) try anything that her father or I am eating.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
liza sabater
On Tuesday, January 6, 2004, at 09:45 PM, Erika Nunn wrote:
dangling from my breasts every 20-30 minutes. Other times, 1 1/2 would
go buy and not even a look at my boobies. That's basically the rule of
thumb here with food. We make 3 meals but we have no unbreakable
schedules. If they want snacks, they'll have them. For every cookie I
lay out, I also put on the table a fruit alternative like grapes or
raisins or bananas. Always some cheese, maybe some baby carrots and cut
peppers. Here, I do the 'spread' either during breakfast, lunch or
dinner. I just put out food, like on a buffet, and leave it there. My
husband works at home too, so it saves me asking all the time who's
hungry. My little one is 3.5 and the big one is 6.5. They go through
really whacked growth spurts with growing pains and eating huge amounts
of food --like 2 adult size plates filled with tofu and rice for the
little one! They want their cookies and candy and what not and they get
it. I joke that I make sure they have a balanced in-take of sugar and
fat so they can wash out the tofu, sushi, fruit and vegetables they
like to eat. Does it drive me crazy that after making a nice meal all
they want is cereal? Yeah, to put it into perspective, we have food
allergies and we can't eat anything with wheat. So we get these full of
fiber Amaranth, Spelt, Oat, Millet cereals that they wash down with soy
and/or rice milk because we're allergic to cow-milk as well. Their
cereal intake is more a blow to my pride. I know they're eating OK,
they're just not eating my yummy food that day.
l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> SO, I guess myI nursed my kids on demand. That meant that sometimes, I'd have them
> question is, when letting your kids have full control over the food,
> do they
> eat enough vegetables and the such? If not, what do you do? I think
> you
> are all getting my point here, so I will just stop now... :)
dangling from my breasts every 20-30 minutes. Other times, 1 1/2 would
go buy and not even a look at my boobies. That's basically the rule of
thumb here with food. We make 3 meals but we have no unbreakable
schedules. If they want snacks, they'll have them. For every cookie I
lay out, I also put on the table a fruit alternative like grapes or
raisins or bananas. Always some cheese, maybe some baby carrots and cut
peppers. Here, I do the 'spread' either during breakfast, lunch or
dinner. I just put out food, like on a buffet, and leave it there. My
husband works at home too, so it saves me asking all the time who's
hungry. My little one is 3.5 and the big one is 6.5. They go through
really whacked growth spurts with growing pains and eating huge amounts
of food --like 2 adult size plates filled with tofu and rice for the
little one! They want their cookies and candy and what not and they get
it. I joke that I make sure they have a balanced in-take of sugar and
fat so they can wash out the tofu, sushi, fruit and vegetables they
like to eat. Does it drive me crazy that after making a nice meal all
they want is cereal? Yeah, to put it into perspective, we have food
allergies and we can't eat anything with wheat. So we get these full of
fiber Amaranth, Spelt, Oat, Millet cereals that they wash down with soy
and/or rice milk because we're allergic to cow-milk as well. Their
cereal intake is more a blow to my pride. I know they're eating OK,
they're just not eating my yummy food that day.
l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
gehrkes
My challenge with giving up food power is that we are constantly
eating and making messes.. It is the messes.. It is my issue. I know
my kids make fine food choices. I make our three year old and anyone
else who wants three meals a day.. I love to cook.. So do they. But
when I have cooked and cleaned up and have my stuff done and that
second someone heads over to do a PBand J.. Or PB and honey.. I
feel like OMG>>>> I really work on it.. If I do snap.. I appoligize.
I have asked that they clear there stuff up and put it away..
Because I know that is my problem.I own that with them. There are
six kids and when we stagger our eating the chaos become a lot for
me.
I know how I want to feel about them eating when they want.. but it
is myself getting in the way of always being able to let go and let
them.. My kids have heard more I am sorrys' from me since I have
been in process of letting go than ever.. I am always working on
considering my decision and not saying no, but I need to be careful
that I do not do that at my expense because that is when I end up
snapping at them.
Speaking of food.My eight year old is sitting at the kitchen table
with Graham Crackers and Milk. She has broken them into sections and
is counting them backwards as she eats them. She is in her own world
really understanding this process on a deep level and it is
beautiful. She is making small announcements to me. Like mom eight
small crackers are two big crackers. Mom I ate one big cracker in
four pieces and now I have 16 small crackers left. We have
not "done" math with her ever. Well her year in PS>>>
Kathleen
eating and making messes.. It is the messes.. It is my issue. I know
my kids make fine food choices. I make our three year old and anyone
else who wants three meals a day.. I love to cook.. So do they. But
when I have cooked and cleaned up and have my stuff done and that
second someone heads over to do a PBand J.. Or PB and honey.. I
feel like OMG>>>> I really work on it.. If I do snap.. I appoligize.
I have asked that they clear there stuff up and put it away..
Because I know that is my problem.I own that with them. There are
six kids and when we stagger our eating the chaos become a lot for
me.
I know how I want to feel about them eating when they want.. but it
is myself getting in the way of always being able to let go and let
them.. My kids have heard more I am sorrys' from me since I have
been in process of letting go than ever.. I am always working on
considering my decision and not saying no, but I need to be careful
that I do not do that at my expense because that is when I end up
snapping at them.
Speaking of food.My eight year old is sitting at the kitchen table
with Graham Crackers and Milk. She has broken them into sections and
is counting them backwards as she eats them. She is in her own world
really understanding this process on a deep level and it is
beautiful. She is making small announcements to me. Like mom eight
small crackers are two big crackers. Mom I ate one big cracker in
four pieces and now I have 16 small crackers left. We have
not "done" math with her ever. Well her year in PS>>>
Kathleen
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth Roberts
hmmmmm good point
catherine aceto <aceto3@...> wrote:Original post:
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
************************************************************************
Not to be picky, but if you are "letting" them have ice-cream for breakfast as a treat -- are they really getting to make the food choices?
-Cat
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catherine aceto <aceto3@...> wrote:Original post:
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
************************************************************************
Not to be picky, but if you are "letting" them have ice-cream for breakfast as a treat -- are they really getting to make the food choices?
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Kelli Traaseth
I think, one huge paradign shift for me, from this board, was to ask my kids what they'd like.
Not only in food related things but also in all aspects of their lives.
What would you like to eat?
What would you like to do today?
How do you think our days are going?
Before unschooling I was always trying to decide these things on my own. I think someone on this board just posed the simplest of questions,
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
Kelli~
Not only in food related things but also in all aspects of their lives.
What would you like to eat?
What would you like to do today?
How do you think our days are going?
Before unschooling I was always trying to decide these things on my own. I think someone on this board just posed the simplest of questions,
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
Kelli~
----- Original Message -----
From: Elizabeth Roberts
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 07, 2004 11:05 AM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Food-related question
hmmmmm good point
catherine aceto <aceto3@...> wrote:Original post:
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth
************************************************************************
Not to be picky, but if you are "letting" them have ice-cream for breakfast as a treat -- are they really getting to make the food choices?
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>Isn't that an oxymoron? A Berenstain Bears book that isn't preachy? <g>
>Read books like "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much
>Junk Food". Great book that isn't "preachy". Worked
>for my kids.
Tia
Michelle
I have alway been very careful of what I let my now 6 year old son eat. It was never really a battle, just never had the "good stuff" in the house. As we are slowly making the change to an Unschooling lifestyle, I am letting go little by little. My son had cereal, yogurt, and gummies for breakfast. That would NEVER have happened before. He did not eat till 10:30, and breakfast time is usually around 8:00. Now he is at the table eating peanuts dipped in apple sauce, yuck!!! This is lunch for him, again, never before. It is what he wants, so I am letting him have it. I feel, now, that he is making some healthy choices, and that is enough for me. He is happy and that is what really matters.
Michelle
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Michelle
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Danielle Conger
Kelli wrote:
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
------------------------------------------
This is the hardest concept for people to get! Especially with young kids. Mine are 6, 5 and 3.5, but they are perfectly capable of deciding what they would like to do. Of course, I will often discuss the options with them first, help them to see the pros and cons of each side, but I respect their final decision. The grandparents (and even dh is guilty of this) will always talk about them to me--sometimes I think they're genuinely running it by me to make sure I'm okay with it, which I appreciate. But I always say, "Ask them." Half the time they look at me like I'm crazy, or dh will be like, "oh, yeah, okay."
Dh's grandmother died last week, and my mother in law (fil's mother, not hers) decided she didn't want the kids there, so we stayed home. We had already asked them if they wanted to go before we knew mil would make an issue of it, and the girls did want to go. They had gone to my grandfather's funeral, and my oldest is rather fascinated by the concept of death and burial. But there was no way we were going to drive 5 hours one way so the kids could stay with a baby sitter! Dh went up by himself. I can't imagine making a decision that involved my kids without consulting them, but this concept is completely foreign to my in-laws. At least my nephew was told what really happened this time around. When he inquired about the other great-grandmother several months ago (she died many years ago), my mil told him that she "moved to Florida." <shaking my head>
Sorry, this is one of my pet peeves!
--danielle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
------------------------------------------
This is the hardest concept for people to get! Especially with young kids. Mine are 6, 5 and 3.5, but they are perfectly capable of deciding what they would like to do. Of course, I will often discuss the options with them first, help them to see the pros and cons of each side, but I respect their final decision. The grandparents (and even dh is guilty of this) will always talk about them to me--sometimes I think they're genuinely running it by me to make sure I'm okay with it, which I appreciate. But I always say, "Ask them." Half the time they look at me like I'm crazy, or dh will be like, "oh, yeah, okay."
Dh's grandmother died last week, and my mother in law (fil's mother, not hers) decided she didn't want the kids there, so we stayed home. We had already asked them if they wanted to go before we knew mil would make an issue of it, and the girls did want to go. They had gone to my grandfather's funeral, and my oldest is rather fascinated by the concept of death and burial. But there was no way we were going to drive 5 hours one way so the kids could stay with a baby sitter! Dh went up by himself. I can't imagine making a decision that involved my kids without consulting them, but this concept is completely foreign to my in-laws. At least my nephew was told what really happened this time around. When he inquired about the other great-grandmother several months ago (she died many years ago), my mil told him that she "moved to Florida." <shaking my head>
Sorry, this is one of my pet peeves!
--danielle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
melissa4123
--- In [email protected], Elizabeth Roberts
<mamabethuscg@y...> wrote:
<<But I don't stress about their eating. I make plenty of healthy
options available, and they will eat those. Other than that, I've
noticed if I am not forcing the issue they will eat healthily most
of the time. They know what they like and don't like, and forcing
them to eat something "for their health" only makes us all stressed
out.
As long as they are growing physically and are active, let them be!
And remember, they have much smaller stomachs than we do and don't
need to eat as much although they need to eat more often. We hardly
ever sit down to "meals" together, because they're all on
different "timeclocks." But when they are hungry, they eat. When I'm
hungry, I eat. But I try to sit at the table with them while they
are eating, even if I'm not eating so that we are together even if
it's not in a traditional-meal-everyone-at-the-table kind of way.
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream
before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream
for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth>>
I told myself that I was going to read all the posts on this one
before responding but, as usual, I just couldn't. This is exactly
what I have started doing and, you know what? It works!
I stressed myself sick over what my DD was (or rather was not)
eating until we would both end up crying and neither one of us would
eat. Now, I simply let her tell me when she's hungry and what she
wants. Sure, sometimes it gold fish crackers but, 9 times out of
10, it PB and J for lunch with a banana and chicken with carrots for
dinner. Ok, not always that same thing but, you get the picture
that SHE is choosing to eat healthy without my forcing the issue.
It did take her about a week to make the switch. By that I mean
that she was so used to me yelling and tring to force her to eat
healthy that, once I made my mind up to stop that she decided to
push and see just how far I would go. She asked for popciles,
chips, and soda for lunch and so on. But, once she realized that I
was really done with the stress, she calmed down and has pretty much
eaten healthy on her own. Wow, how easy was that? :-)
Melissa
<mamabethuscg@y...> wrote:
<<But I don't stress about their eating. I make plenty of healthy
options available, and they will eat those. Other than that, I've
noticed if I am not forcing the issue they will eat healthily most
of the time. They know what they like and don't like, and forcing
them to eat something "for their health" only makes us all stressed
out.
As long as they are growing physically and are active, let them be!
And remember, they have much smaller stomachs than we do and don't
need to eat as much although they need to eat more often. We hardly
ever sit down to "meals" together, because they're all on
different "timeclocks." But when they are hungry, they eat. When I'm
hungry, I eat. But I try to sit at the table with them while they
are eating, even if I'm not eating so that we are together even if
it's not in a traditional-meal-everyone-at-the-table kind of way.
Every now and again, I like to surprise them with eating icecream
before dinner, or even once in awhile I've let them have icecream
for breakfast. They get a kick out of it, and so do I!
MamaBeth>>
I told myself that I was going to read all the posts on this one
before responding but, as usual, I just couldn't. This is exactly
what I have started doing and, you know what? It works!
I stressed myself sick over what my DD was (or rather was not)
eating until we would both end up crying and neither one of us would
eat. Now, I simply let her tell me when she's hungry and what she
wants. Sure, sometimes it gold fish crackers but, 9 times out of
10, it PB and J for lunch with a banana and chicken with carrots for
dinner. Ok, not always that same thing but, you get the picture
that SHE is choosing to eat healthy without my forcing the issue.
It did take her about a week to make the switch. By that I mean
that she was so used to me yelling and tring to force her to eat
healthy that, once I made my mind up to stop that she decided to
push and see just how far I would go. She asked for popciles,
chips, and soda for lunch and so on. But, once she realized that I
was really done with the stress, she calmed down and has pretty much
eaten healthy on her own. Wow, how easy was that? :-)
Melissa
Elizabeth Roberts
I never found them to be "preachy."
MamaBeth
Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:
Tia
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MamaBeth
Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:
>Isn't that an oxymoron? A Berenstain Bears book that isn't preachy? <g>
>Read books like "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much
>Junk Food". Great book that isn't "preachy". Worked
>for my kids.
Tia
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Elizabeth Roberts
One thing that has surprised me in regards to my children's food choices...nearly every Wednesday night before the service there is a fellowship dinner at our church. They go by themes, such as Italian, "stuffed-stuff" or "Pot Faith."
It's a traditional buffet set-up, and I just let the kids pick what they want. In general I know there won't be anything Logan will eat, so either he eats beforehand or I'll take him a bowl of cereral and some milk - sometimes for Megan as well.
But at times, they will surprise me by wanting to try something I don't think they'd like. Logan decided he likes kielbasa and sauerkraut. Sarah likes stuffed peppers. Megan normally eats well anyway as long as you don't offer it to her. If you just put it in front of her, she'll at least try a bite. She won't let you feed her anything, or say "Want to try a bite?"
MamaBeth
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It's a traditional buffet set-up, and I just let the kids pick what they want. In general I know there won't be anything Logan will eat, so either he eats beforehand or I'll take him a bowl of cereral and some milk - sometimes for Megan as well.
But at times, they will surprise me by wanting to try something I don't think they'd like. Logan decided he likes kielbasa and sauerkraut. Sarah likes stuffed peppers. Megan normally eats well anyway as long as you don't offer it to her. If you just put it in front of her, she'll at least try a bite. She won't let you feed her anything, or say "Want to try a bite?"
MamaBeth
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melissa4123
--- In [email protected], "Kelli Traaseth"
<tktraas@p...> wrote:
<<I think, one huge paradign shift for me, from this board, was to
ask my kids what they'd like.
Before unschooling I was always trying to decide these things on my
own. I think someone on this board just posed the simplest of
questions,
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
Kelli~>>
Same thing here and not just with food as well. As with the food,
it took my DD a little while to get used to making her own decisions
and to see if I would really do what SHE wanted to do and not what I
THOUGHT she wanted to do.
Now, she loves it and really thinks about what she wants to eat or
where she wants to go. It's great to see her little brain working
and knowing that she is really getting to do what she wants to do.
Melissa
<tktraas@p...> wrote:
<<I think, one huge paradign shift for me, from this board, was to
ask my kids what they'd like.
Before unschooling I was always trying to decide these things on my
own. I think someone on this board just posed the simplest of
questions,
"Did you ask them what they want?"
Very profound.
Kelli~>>
Same thing here and not just with food as well. As with the food,
it took my DD a little while to get used to making her own decisions
and to see if I would really do what SHE wanted to do and not what I
THOUGHT she wanted to do.
Now, she loves it and really thinks about what she wants to eat or
where she wants to go. It's great to see her little brain working
and knowing that she is really getting to do what she wants to do.
Melissa
Elizabeth Roberts
Melissa,
Glad to hear it! Food was always a forced issue in my house growing up. And at babysitter's. I once didn't eat except for school lunches when we spent a week at a sitter's. She made Ramen Noodles for dinner, and I can NOT eat them. She served it to me, cold, the next morning for breakfast (after I'd sat at the table til time for bath/bed while everyone else was excused). I didn't eat. At dinner, it reappeared. The ONLY reason I think that she gave up at the end of the week was because my mother was coming in the morning. But I won..I didn't have to eat it.
I also swore I'd NEVER do that to one of my children, nor would I not send them to bed hungry or otherwise use or withold food as punishment. It doesn't take any more effort for me to throw together a PBJ and slice an apple than to thaw out and cook another chicken breast. And sometimes..it's EASIER to let them have what they want than stand there at the stove frying up another drumstick! Two minutes to put together the sandwich versus however long it takes to fry the stick...!!!
Once, when Sarah was 3 1/2 we were visiting my mother. Knowing how she is about food, I stopped and bought a gallon of milk and box of Froot Loops for Sarah. Sure enough, later on, Sarah only picked at her dinner. She wasn't hungry or she didn't like it, but either way she didn't eat. My mom kept trying to make an issue of it, and I told Sarah she could be excused if she wanted to but that Grandma liked to have everyone still at the table even if they aren't eating. Sarah asked to stay. I cleared her plate, got her crayons and paper out, and let her sit.
Later, while my mother was upstairs in her office, and after her bath Sarah decided she was hungry. I made her a bowl of the cereal with the stuff I'd brought...and my mother had a FIT. Yelling at me that I have to send her to bed hungry if she doesn't eat rather than being a slave to my child, that I'm too attached to her, and on and on. Sarah couldn't eat. She asked to be excused, we took care of her dishes and I took her on up to bed. At 1830!! She normally didn't go to bed until 2300, but this was my mother's house and her rules. I stayed with her as she cried. She couldn't understand why Grandma was so mean and why she wanted her to not eat when she was hungry, and eat when she wasn't hungry. All I could do was tell her I'd watch out for her, and hold her.
Every night that visit, Sarah was asleep by 1900 because she was scared of her Grandmother. Over FOOD (although there were a couple other issues).
MamaBeth
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Glad to hear it! Food was always a forced issue in my house growing up. And at babysitter's. I once didn't eat except for school lunches when we spent a week at a sitter's. She made Ramen Noodles for dinner, and I can NOT eat them. She served it to me, cold, the next morning for breakfast (after I'd sat at the table til time for bath/bed while everyone else was excused). I didn't eat. At dinner, it reappeared. The ONLY reason I think that she gave up at the end of the week was because my mother was coming in the morning. But I won..I didn't have to eat it.
I also swore I'd NEVER do that to one of my children, nor would I not send them to bed hungry or otherwise use or withold food as punishment. It doesn't take any more effort for me to throw together a PBJ and slice an apple than to thaw out and cook another chicken breast. And sometimes..it's EASIER to let them have what they want than stand there at the stove frying up another drumstick! Two minutes to put together the sandwich versus however long it takes to fry the stick...!!!
Once, when Sarah was 3 1/2 we were visiting my mother. Knowing how she is about food, I stopped and bought a gallon of milk and box of Froot Loops for Sarah. Sure enough, later on, Sarah only picked at her dinner. She wasn't hungry or she didn't like it, but either way she didn't eat. My mom kept trying to make an issue of it, and I told Sarah she could be excused if she wanted to but that Grandma liked to have everyone still at the table even if they aren't eating. Sarah asked to stay. I cleared her plate, got her crayons and paper out, and let her sit.
Later, while my mother was upstairs in her office, and after her bath Sarah decided she was hungry. I made her a bowl of the cereal with the stuff I'd brought...and my mother had a FIT. Yelling at me that I have to send her to bed hungry if she doesn't eat rather than being a slave to my child, that I'm too attached to her, and on and on. Sarah couldn't eat. She asked to be excused, we took care of her dishes and I took her on up to bed. At 1830!! She normally didn't go to bed until 2300, but this was my mother's house and her rules. I stayed with her as she cried. She couldn't understand why Grandma was so mean and why she wanted her to not eat when she was hungry, and eat when she wasn't hungry. All I could do was tell her I'd watch out for her, and hold her.
Every night that visit, Sarah was asleep by 1900 because she was scared of her Grandmother. Over FOOD (although there were a couple other issues).
MamaBeth
Why not?!
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
melissa4123
--- In [email protected], Elizabeth Roberts
<mamabethuscg@y...> wrote:
<<Food was always a forced issue in my house growing up.>>
It was in our house as well. I will say that my mother was
wonderful but, I think that she had her own food issues (from her
mother) that she then passed on to me.
We were never allowed to leave the table until we had eaten
everything on our plate. However, we were allowed to put what we
wanted out our plate but, once it was there, we had to eat it. You
know how kids can be (and adults too sometimes)....eyes always
bigger than the stomach. I still have to tell myself that I'm not a
bad person and that it is ok, if I don't want to finish everything
that's on my plate.
I have gone through bouts of anorexia (not since I have been
married) in my teens and early twenties. I know that it was caused
by how big of an issue food was in my house (and my grandmother's
house) growing up. It's still something that I deal with daily but
I keep it to myself (at least since I realized that I was doing the
same thing to my DD that my mother did to me) because food is one
thing that I REFUSE to have my daughter battle with as she becomes
older.
Melissa
<mamabethuscg@y...> wrote:
<<Food was always a forced issue in my house growing up.>>
It was in our house as well. I will say that my mother was
wonderful but, I think that she had her own food issues (from her
mother) that she then passed on to me.
We were never allowed to leave the table until we had eaten
everything on our plate. However, we were allowed to put what we
wanted out our plate but, once it was there, we had to eat it. You
know how kids can be (and adults too sometimes)....eyes always
bigger than the stomach. I still have to tell myself that I'm not a
bad person and that it is ok, if I don't want to finish everything
that's on my plate.
I have gone through bouts of anorexia (not since I have been
married) in my teens and early twenties. I know that it was caused
by how big of an issue food was in my house (and my grandmother's
house) growing up. It's still something that I deal with daily but
I keep it to myself (at least since I realized that I was doing the
same thing to my DD that my mother did to me) because food is one
thing that I REFUSE to have my daughter battle with as she becomes
older.
Melissa
Tia Leschke
>Think of it as either going to waste or to waist. Is one worse than the
>We were never allowed to leave the table until we had eaten
>everything on our plate. However, we were allowed to put what we
>wanted out our plate but, once it was there, we had to eat it. You
>know how kids can be (and adults too sometimes)....eyes always
>bigger than the stomach. I still have to tell myself that I'm not a
>bad person and that it is ok, if I don't want to finish everything
>that's on my plate.
other? <G>
Tia
melissa4123
--- In [email protected], Tia Leschke
<leschke@s...> wrote:
<<Think of it as either going to waste or to waist. Is one worse
than the other? <G>
Tia>>
LOL....that's exactly how I have started looking at it, especially
when we're at a restaurant where the portion sizes are WAY out of
wack! It also helps me to save anything that we don't eat, even if
I know we will probably not eat it again. That way, a week later,
when it's still in the fridge, I can throw it away and tell
myself "well, at I tried to save it but no one wanted to eat it
again." <g>
Melissa
<leschke@s...> wrote:
<<Think of it as either going to waste or to waist. Is one worse
than the other? <G>
Tia>>
LOL....that's exactly how I have started looking at it, especially
when we're at a restaurant where the portion sizes are WAY out of
wack! It also helps me to save anything that we don't eat, even if
I know we will probably not eat it again. That way, a week later,
when it's still in the fridge, I can throw it away and tell
myself "well, at I tried to save it but no one wanted to eat it
again." <g>
Melissa
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/2004 1:00:27 PM Central Standard Time, leschke@...
writes:
I'm going to scream! And now our local pbs has the show on in the middle of the
day instead of Saturday morning when we are sleeping. (The local station
moved Bill Moyers to an unaccessible time slot from prime time Friday nights,
which was bad enough. But this is the last straw.) That whole bear family just
sits on my last nerve! I don't like Arthur much either, but the Berenstain
bears take the cake for me.
Thanks Tia for giving me an outlet.
Elizabeth in IL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> Isn't that an oxymoron? A Berenstain Bears book that isn't preachy? <g>Rant here. If my sister in law gives us one more of those books or videos
> Tia
>
I'm going to scream! And now our local pbs has the show on in the middle of the
day instead of Saturday morning when we are sleeping. (The local station
moved Bill Moyers to an unaccessible time slot from prime time Friday nights,
which was bad enough. But this is the last straw.) That whole bear family just
sits on my last nerve! I don't like Arthur much either, but the Berenstain
bears take the cake for me.
Thanks Tia for giving me an outlet.
Elizabeth in IL
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/7/04 12:11:27 PM, danielle.conger@... writes:
<< Dh's grandmother died last week, and my mother in law (fil's mother, not
hers) decided she didn't want the kids there, so we stayed home. >>
Very strange. This is one disadvantage of funerals being removed from the
church. If it's a mass or service of the whole church, it's not up to any
relative to say who can or can't attend. Funerals are generally announced in
public even if they're in a funeral home, and the idea that someone outside the
immediate family could declare whose kids can and can't go is totally foreign to
me.
Holly has been to a couple of funerals with me and several weddings, and as
culture is passed, it's mostly passed through the females. I'm really sorry
your kids missed that.
I went to two relatives' funerals when I was a kid (10/11ish), and that was
good preparation for when I went to two other teens funerals as a teen.
Sandra
<< Dh's grandmother died last week, and my mother in law (fil's mother, not
hers) decided she didn't want the kids there, so we stayed home. >>
Very strange. This is one disadvantage of funerals being removed from the
church. If it's a mass or service of the whole church, it's not up to any
relative to say who can or can't attend. Funerals are generally announced in
public even if they're in a funeral home, and the idea that someone outside the
immediate family could declare whose kids can and can't go is totally foreign to
me.
Holly has been to a couple of funerals with me and several weddings, and as
culture is passed, it's mostly passed through the females. I'm really sorry
your kids missed that.
I went to two relatives' funerals when I was a kid (10/11ish), and that was
good preparation for when I went to two other teens funerals as a teen.
Sandra
liza sabater
On Wednesday, January 7, 2004, at 03:02 PM, Elizabeth Roberts wrote:
Same here with Aidan.
Do you know he would vomit on demand just to repudiate our offering him
food? It was not the food, it was the "eat it , it's good". Evan got so
freaked out about it that he would get all agitated around eating time
and say "remember, don't give him ANYTHING". So we stopped offering
him. And he got bored eating the same stuff over and over again. That
was about 6 months ago or maybe more. Now, I just leave it there.
Aidan : HMMMM, what's DAT!
Us: 'Sunflower sprouts'.
A: HMMMM. OK.
(Pregnant pause while everybody tries not to look at it)
A: Can I try it?
Us: Sure.
(Do you remember Bugs Bunny eating out a tinsy-weensy piece of carrot?
That's Aidan trying out food. All teeth but nary an opening and little
tongue contact.)
Hmmm. Tastes good (and takes a gulp)
or
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
And pushes it so far away from him that it either falls off the table
or it lands on one of our plates.
Evan has a lot of food allergies. He, who cannot eat as much as his
bro, will try ANYTHING. Aidan, who has the privilege of being a bit
sensitive to wheat and milk (no real allergies), won't touch most foods.
Sigh!
Just today we laughed about his food quirks. He did not want the
traditional soccer sushi we get on Wednesday (given we can't do the
pizza the team orders). So he had Chicken Satay (or chicken on a stick
as he calls it). We shared a Vegan Key Lime cake that was exquisite. He
also wolfed some almond cookies a friend brought to soccer. I thought
he was not having dinner. After playing Freedom Force, he gets off the
computer and announces, "I'm ready for dinner now" So I asked him, what
do you want?
A: HMMM. (with deep ponderous countenance while tapping his cheek)
L-e-t me seeeeeeeeeee? Pizza, no pepperoni, lots of cheese.
Me: Excuse me?
A: You asked me, dat's what I want.
So I go ahead, I had to balls of the GF dough I make. Evan already had
some dinner snacks (sometimes they don't want dinner, they just want to
snack), he shared some of Aidan's pizza but the little dude just wolfed
everything down. Mark and I looked at each other. Yep, he knows what he
wants and is very, VERY, specific about it. So specific that in the
mornings he asks for, "Toast, untoasted, with no margarine and a bit
of jelly" --and that bit has to be either dispensed in front of him or
left to him to spoon out. I just have to laugh. He's just 3 years old
and already has these very specific neurosae. You know I'm a New YAWker
when I find my kids neurosis cute :)
l i z a, nyc
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> But at times, they will surprise me by wanting to try something IBINGO!
> don't think they'd like. Logan decided he likes kielbasa and
> sauerkraut. Sarah likes stuffed peppers. Megan normally eats well
> anyway as long as you don't offer it to her. If you just put it in
> front of her, she'll at least try a bite. She won't let you feed her
> anything, or say "Want to try a bite?"
Same here with Aidan.
Do you know he would vomit on demand just to repudiate our offering him
food? It was not the food, it was the "eat it , it's good". Evan got so
freaked out about it that he would get all agitated around eating time
and say "remember, don't give him ANYTHING". So we stopped offering
him. And he got bored eating the same stuff over and over again. That
was about 6 months ago or maybe more. Now, I just leave it there.
Aidan : HMMMM, what's DAT!
Us: 'Sunflower sprouts'.
A: HMMMM. OK.
(Pregnant pause while everybody tries not to look at it)
A: Can I try it?
Us: Sure.
(Do you remember Bugs Bunny eating out a tinsy-weensy piece of carrot?
That's Aidan trying out food. All teeth but nary an opening and little
tongue contact.)
Hmmm. Tastes good (and takes a gulp)
or
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
And pushes it so far away from him that it either falls off the table
or it lands on one of our plates.
Evan has a lot of food allergies. He, who cannot eat as much as his
bro, will try ANYTHING. Aidan, who has the privilege of being a bit
sensitive to wheat and milk (no real allergies), won't touch most foods.
Sigh!
Just today we laughed about his food quirks. He did not want the
traditional soccer sushi we get on Wednesday (given we can't do the
pizza the team orders). So he had Chicken Satay (or chicken on a stick
as he calls it). We shared a Vegan Key Lime cake that was exquisite. He
also wolfed some almond cookies a friend brought to soccer. I thought
he was not having dinner. After playing Freedom Force, he gets off the
computer and announces, "I'm ready for dinner now" So I asked him, what
do you want?
A: HMMM. (with deep ponderous countenance while tapping his cheek)
L-e-t me seeeeeeeeeee? Pizza, no pepperoni, lots of cheese.
Me: Excuse me?
A: You asked me, dat's what I want.
So I go ahead, I had to balls of the GF dough I make. Evan already had
some dinner snacks (sometimes they don't want dinner, they just want to
snack), he shared some of Aidan's pizza but the little dude just wolfed
everything down. Mark and I looked at each other. Yep, he knows what he
wants and is very, VERY, specific about it. So specific that in the
mornings he asks for, "Toast, untoasted, with no margarine and a bit
of jelly" --and that bit has to be either dispensed in front of him or
left to him to spoon out. I just have to laugh. He's just 3 years old
and already has these very specific neurosae. You know I'm a New YAWker
when I find my kids neurosis cute :)
l i z a, nyc
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Olga
One question I had to ask myself was what food was available to
them. My little one would wake up first and *forage* <g> for chips
and such in the cupboards. Recently, I realized that none of us
really needed that junk around the house. I would buy Doritos in
the store because my little one would ask and then we would both eat
half the bag. Not good on either end. I stopped buying junk except
for a few favorite things like fruit snacks and brownies they eat
for dessert. Just by having less junk around, Pierce is eating a
larger lunch and dinner. I have also been making better choices and
he joins me while I am eating a peach or grapes.
I never restrict my kids when things are available. At a New Years
party my 5yo ate one piece of chicken and my 2yo none and lord knows
how many cookies. My SIL kept asking if I wanted something for them
to eat. They eat pretty well at home so when we go out or are at
a party, I let them enjoy whatever they want. Also, if there is
something very tempting at home, I let them have a good bit. Not
every popsicle or bag of fruit snack but plenty to feel satisfied.
We also do not have a dinner time. My kids eat when they are
hungry, so do I. My 5yo is still caught in some of our older
rules. He will eat dinner and than dessert. Sometimes, he only
eats a little and asks for dessert. I let him have it. He may come
back an hour later and ask me to heat up his mac and cheese. That's
fine. He is very rule oriented so it should be interesting when he
realizes he can ask for a brownie before a meal. My 2yo suffers
from no such flaws<g> and pretty much grabs what he wants. Many
times leaving the brownie and choosing grapes. I have never placed
any restrcitions or food demands on him. Good Luck!
Olga :)
[email protected], MarSi77@a... wrote:
them. My little one would wake up first and *forage* <g> for chips
and such in the cupboards. Recently, I realized that none of us
really needed that junk around the house. I would buy Doritos in
the store because my little one would ask and then we would both eat
half the bag. Not good on either end. I stopped buying junk except
for a few favorite things like fruit snacks and brownies they eat
for dessert. Just by having less junk around, Pierce is eating a
larger lunch and dinner. I have also been making better choices and
he joins me while I am eating a peach or grapes.
I never restrict my kids when things are available. At a New Years
party my 5yo ate one piece of chicken and my 2yo none and lord knows
how many cookies. My SIL kept asking if I wanted something for them
to eat. They eat pretty well at home so when we go out or are at
a party, I let them enjoy whatever they want. Also, if there is
something very tempting at home, I let them have a good bit. Not
every popsicle or bag of fruit snack but plenty to feel satisfied.
We also do not have a dinner time. My kids eat when they are
hungry, so do I. My 5yo is still caught in some of our older
rules. He will eat dinner and than dessert. Sometimes, he only
eats a little and asks for dessert. I let him have it. He may come
back an hour later and ask me to heat up his mac and cheese. That's
fine. He is very rule oriented so it should be interesting when he
realizes he can ask for a brownie before a meal. My 2yo suffers
from no such flaws<g> and pretty much grabs what he wants. Many
times leaving the brownie and choosing grapes. I have never placed
any restrcitions or food demands on him. Good Luck!
Olga :)
[email protected], MarSi77@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 1/7/2004 9:12:01 AM Eastern Standard Time,all day?
> erikanunn@h... writes:
>
>
> > My question is, what do you guys do when it comes to food?
> > What if my daughter wants to eat nothing but goldfish crackers
> > What if my son refuses to eat dinner, but then wants ice cream.Or what if
> > he refuses dinner but then gets hungry two hours later?regarding food and
>
> I'm fairly new to unschooling but I have changed my ways
> life is more pleasant..<<G<<).
>
> I say YES more often. ( sometimes even ice cream for breakfast!
> I also make sure I have more healthy things in the house tochoose from.
>period..who
> I view it as as long as they have adequate nutrition in a 48 hr
> cares WHEN they eat certain foods. It also gives us a chance totalk about
> heathy and non-healthy foods and proper nutrition for growingbodies <<G>>.
> I'll often offer a plate of veggies and "dip" or cheese andcrackers and
> other healthy snacks while they are playing , reading ,watching avideo, etc.
> ~Marcia
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Olga
>but still
> Provide more options, model (there are parents who hate vegetables
> try to force their children to eat them), get pizza, makesandwiches, fun
> salads, raw vegetables with ranch dip... stuff like that.That is my BIL. He spent years FIGHTING with his son every night at
>
> >
> http://sandradodd.com/food
>
> Sandra
the table where everyone had to eat together. His son was a very
picky eater, which I can understand as I have one. He would force
him to eat or go to bed with nothing. My SIL told me she wanted to
hide in the bathroom, it was such a stressful time. He was so set
on having that family dinner time that he missed the big picture
which was he was ruining the precious little time he had with his
kids. my BIL HATES NEW FOOD!! He will not try most of new things,
no Chinese, no Indian, etc. How can you force your child to try new
food when you do not???
That whole situation used to blow my mind. I have a fussy eater.
He lived off peanut butter on wholewheat sliced so the straight side
of the bread and curved side were on opposite sides for a year. Now
it is mac and cheese for lunch and dinner. Sometimes, it is
certainly frustrating. However, it is never worth the arguement.
He is happy, he eats and if he wants to try things one day, he has a
long life to do it.
People like him (and I love my BIL) love to gloat that their methods
worked. So their child eats better now, at what cost?
Olga :)
melissa4123
--- In [email protected], "Olga"
<mccluskieo@b...> wrote:
<<We also do not have a dinner time. My kids eat when they are
hungry, so do I.
Olga :)>>
We don't have a dinner time here either. My husband works nights
and doesn't even get up until noon, then leaves for work around 3pm
so my DD and I are pretty much on our own most days. I eat when I'm
hungry and she just lets me know when she is so that I can get her
something to eat. The only thing that I do try to do is get her to
eat dinner around 6pm or so but only because she goes to sleep about
7:30 or 8pm. But, if she's not hungry, she dosen't eat. I have put
food out at 6pm and she refused to eat, yelling at me until I put
the food away. Then, she climbed up in my lap and fell asleep. Of
course, she ate a great breakfast! :-)
Melissa
<mccluskieo@b...> wrote:
<<We also do not have a dinner time. My kids eat when they are
hungry, so do I.
Olga :)>>
We don't have a dinner time here either. My husband works nights
and doesn't even get up until noon, then leaves for work around 3pm
so my DD and I are pretty much on our own most days. I eat when I'm
hungry and she just lets me know when she is so that I can get her
something to eat. The only thing that I do try to do is get her to
eat dinner around 6pm or so but only because she goes to sleep about
7:30 or 8pm. But, if she's not hungry, she dosen't eat. I have put
food out at 6pm and she refused to eat, yelling at me until I put
the food away. Then, she climbed up in my lap and fell asleep. Of
course, she ate a great breakfast! :-)
Melissa
Erika Nunn
Thank you everybody for your insight. I will go with my instinct and let my
kids eat all the junkfood and sugar they want from now on!! Kidding, of
course. Seriously though, it makes sense to just start with saying "yes"
more often, as one of you posted.
In addition, I am very happy to have found this message board, as lately I
have been getting sucked away from an unschooling mindset from
"well-meaning" friends/relatives.
Erika :)
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kids eat all the junkfood and sugar they want from now on!! Kidding, of
course. Seriously though, it makes sense to just start with saying "yes"
more often, as one of you posted.
In addition, I am very happy to have found this message board, as lately I
have been getting sucked away from an unschooling mindset from
"well-meaning" friends/relatives.
Erika :)
>From: Tia Leschke <leschke@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] Food-related question
>Date: Wed, 07 Jan 2004 10:06:16 -0800
>
>
> >
> >Read books like "The Berenstain Bears and Too Much
> >Junk Food". Great book that isn't "preachy". Worked
> >for my kids.
>
>Isn't that an oxymoron? A Berenstain Bears book that isn't preachy? <g>
>Tia
>
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pam sorooshian
On Jan 7, 2004, at 2:29 PM, ejcrewe@... wrote:
the same category as Berenstain Bears at all, which I do find to be
extremely preachy and which make the father out to be a total doofus
and the rhyming little verses (in which the lesson-to-be-learned is
spelled out in case we didn't get it from the story) are just awful.
Last week Rosie had the stomach flu - considerable vomiting involved.
After a pretty awful night, I finally got her out on the living room
couch and settled down with something in her arms to throw up into, if
needed, and turned on the tv, hoping to distract her from her misery.
It was Arthur and the episode was called "Vomitorious" - I'm not
kidding. The whole episode was about Francine repeatedly throwing up in
front of other people.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> I don't like Arthur much either,My 13-this-month daughter STILL loves Arthur. I wouldn't put them into
the same category as Berenstain Bears at all, which I do find to be
extremely preachy and which make the father out to be a total doofus
and the rhyming little verses (in which the lesson-to-be-learned is
spelled out in case we didn't get it from the story) are just awful.
Last week Rosie had the stomach flu - considerable vomiting involved.
After a pretty awful night, I finally got her out on the living room
couch and settled down with something in her arms to throw up into, if
needed, and turned on the tv, hoping to distract her from her misery.
It was Arthur and the episode was called "Vomitorious" - I'm not
kidding. The whole episode was about Francine repeatedly throwing up in
front of other people.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.