[email protected]

Eight-year-old ds and his dad spent the whole weekend building a Yoda
figure from a Lego kit with more than 1,000 pieces. It's the first big kit or
model they've tried (from the top of Dear Son's Santa list.)

It fascinated them. THEY fascinated me! <g>

The kit was too advanced for Son to do solo, rated age 14+ I suppose
due to the "organization" skills involved to find the right tiny piece and
then position it in the right tiny place, according to 70-something charted
steps.

Once in a while they needed to backtrack to figure out and fix hidden
missteps (like trying to reconcile my checking account to the bank statement
without Quicken.) This part was tedious and not forward-progressing, plus at
any moment some unknown error might prove catastrophic. Not fun!

Dad took physical charge of the boxes and bags of pieces because he
said it would be hopeless for both of them otherwise. Son was good at reading
the charts and he loved snapping in the pieces and watching Yoda take shape row
by row. To communicate across the two task areas, they unconsciously coined
their own private "terms of art" like single double, double triple, and
L-shaped thingee.

But I noticed there was no natural "guys building stuff" rhythm to it
-- any rhythm they had was more like a constant negotiation. If they hadn't
each accommodated the other, they couldn't have worked together at all. I stayed
nearby but kept my mouth shut and just responded to their various requests --
for food, stories, diversions, supplies, and to come admire various stages.

Son was dancing and bouncing around, telling stories, taking cookie
breaks, wanting to deny or ignore suspected errors hoping to speed on, etc. He
went in and out of the room multiple times per hour (but he ALWAYS came back!)
It was much louder and more frenetic than old people like us prefer for
project-doing. Hard to concentrate and get right -- I was worried Dad wouldn't be
able to tolerate it, and might throw up his hands and tell Son if he wasn't
interested enough, to forget it.

OTOH, Son was patient and reasonably cheerful about Dad's seemingly
endless need to check the charts, trace possible errors down, and hoard the
loose pieces, lining up each step and checking it twice before proceeding.

Dad was the anchor, or maybe the rudder or navigator, steadying and
steering and soothing and smoothing the rough spots, enabling Son to do as much
as he could do happily, without having the rest forced on him as the price for
his happiness. No ultimatums about taking the nasty with the nice, or not
being worth doing if it wasn't done Dad's way.

And without ever letting Son see the total cost -- Dad was exhausted
and bleary-eyed, and thoroughly sick of Yoda and Legos of every kind before it
was finished. But not sick of Son!

There was some fine modeling going on, all right. :)

JJ


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Roberts

jj

thanks for sharing that! you should consider submitting that as an essay to HEM or something!

MamaBeth

jrossedd@... wrote:
Eight-year-old ds and his dad spent the whole weekend building a Yoda
figure from a Lego kit with more than 1,000 pieces. It's the first big kit or
model they've tried (from the top of Dear Son's Santa list.)

It fascinated them. THEY fascinated me! <g>

The kit was too advanced for Son to do solo, rated age 14+ I suppose
due to the "organization" skills involved to find the right tiny piece and
then position it in the right tiny place, according to 70-something charted
steps.

Once in a while they needed to backtrack to figure out and fix hidden
missteps (like trying to reconcile my checking account to the bank statement
without Quicken.) This part was tedious and not forward-progressing, plus at
any moment some unknown error might prove catastrophic. Not fun!

Dad took physical charge of the boxes and bags of pieces because he
said it would be hopeless for both of them otherwise. Son was good at reading
the charts and he loved snapping in the pieces and watching Yoda take shape row
by row. To communicate across the two task areas, they unconsciously coined
their own private "terms of art" like single double, double triple, and
L-shaped thingee.

But I noticed there was no natural "guys building stuff" rhythm to it
-- any rhythm they had was more like a constant negotiation. If they hadn't
each accommodated the other, they couldn't have worked together at all. I stayed
nearby but kept my mouth shut and just responded to their various requests --
for food, stories, diversions, supplies, and to come admire various stages.

Son was dancing and bouncing around, telling stories, taking cookie
breaks, wanting to deny or ignore suspected errors hoping to speed on, etc. He
went in and out of the room multiple times per hour (but he ALWAYS came back!)
It was much louder and more frenetic than old people like us prefer for
project-doing. Hard to concentrate and get right -- I was worried Dad wouldn't be
able to tolerate it, and might throw up his hands and tell Son if he wasn't
interested enough, to forget it.

OTOH, Son was patient and reasonably cheerful about Dad's seemingly
endless need to check the charts, trace possible errors down, and hoard the
loose pieces, lining up each step and checking it twice before proceeding.

Dad was the anchor, or maybe the rudder or navigator, steadying and
steering and soothing and smoothing the rough spots, enabling Son to do as much
as he could do happily, without having the rest forced on him as the price for
his happiness. No ultimatums about taking the nasty with the nice, or not
being worth doing if it wasn't done Dad's way.

And without ever letting Son see the total cost -- Dad was exhausted
and bleary-eyed, and thoroughly sick of Yoda and Legos of every kind before it
was finished. But not sick of Son!

There was some fine modeling going on, all right. :)

JJ


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Thanks for letting me know you liked it.

I do write essays and columns here and there (not for HEM) but hadn't
thought of using this particularly, so I appreciate the suggestion. :) JJ

mamabethuscg@... writes:


> jj
>
> thanks for sharing that! you should consider submitting that as an essay to
> HEM or something!
>
> MamaBeth
>
> jrossedd@... wrote:
> Eight-year-old ds and his dad spent the whole weekend building a Yoda
>
> figure from a Lego kit with more than 1,000 pieces. It's the first big kit
> or
> model they've tried (from the top of Dear Son's Santa list.)
>
> It fascinated them. THEY fascinated me! <g>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Roberts

JJ,

You're welcome! If you do decide to submit it, let us know what happens!

MamaBeth


Everything I need to know, I learned on my own!

---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Free Pop-Up Blocker - Get it now

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]