>I think if a parent finds that they are reminding a child to do something
too much, it might not be that important to the child. Its become the
parent's agenda and not the child's.

It could mean that - or it could mean that the child doesn't have much of a
sense of time, or is extremely forgetful. I have one of those <grin> (who
said that it is okay to use this example). My 15 yo has been fascinated
with insects for the last decade. He volunteers at the Arthropod zoo at a
science museum. I have to remind him every other week to send the director
an e-mail arranging a time. Now - this is his thing, not mine. It's a 2
hour round trip, and I have to find things to do with the other two children
in the area while he's volunteering (the other people at the musuem are
getting to know us *really* well <grin>). Quite frankly, it would be much
easier for me to not remind him.

DH is also extremely absent-minded, and I used to think the same thing -
that if he really cared about something, he'd remember. And he'd forget,
and I'd think he didn't care. Having an oldest child who was also
absent-minded was one of the best things for that part of our marriage. It
made us both realize that dh'sabsent-mindedness wasn't something voluntary -
it was just part of him. And I relaxed about it.

So, I end up remembering many things for both of them - from volunteering to
my mother-in-law's birthday.

My daughter is exactly the opposite - she's right on top of everything,
always ready early, and gets upset if there's any possiblity of being late.
She doesn't want to be reminded abouth things (both dh and ds said that they
do), and neither do I - because I've been thinking for the last 3 days that
I have to do whatever it is, and trying to fit it in. Usually by the time
dh reminds me of something, it's been done for a week <grin>.

Dd and I are both trying to learn how to relax a bit <BWG>.